This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A hillbilly is taking a dump in the outhouse when a dollar bill falls out his pocket and down into the hole.

A hillbilly is taking a dump in the outhouse when a dollar bill falls out his pocket and down into the hole full of sewage.

He starts cursing and storms out of the outhouse.

His buddy looks at him and asks “what’s wrong? What happened??”

“Well I was in there taking a dump and ...

There was a cowboy who went to the outhouse...

... He heard a noise, so he looked inside. Lo and behold, there was an Indian down in the hole. The cowboy said, "How long have you been down there in that awful hole?" The Indian replied, "Many moons."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dad approaches Timmy, "Son, did you push the outhouse over?".

Timmy: "No dad! It wasn't me!".

Dad: "Let me tell you a story. Years ago George Washington's dad asked him if he cut down the cherry tree. George Washington said, 'I cannot tell a lie', and admitted to cutting down the tree. His father was proud of him and didn't punish him."

Timmy: "O...

Ma comes marching into the kitchen and hollers, "Pa! You need to go out and fix the outhouse!"

Pa replies, "There ain't nuthin wrong with the outhouse."

Ma yells back, "Yes there is, now git out there and fix it."

Pa moseys out to the outhouse, looks around and yells back, "Ma! There ain't nuthin wrong with the outhouse!"

Ma replies, "Stick yur head in the hole!"

P...

Have you read the book Fifty Yards to the Outhouse by...

Willie Makit,published by Betty Don't,and illustrated by Doris Lock?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A boy grows up with an outhouse...

He's in bed one night and thinks to himself,

"This is bullshit! It's 2016, we're the only ones with an outhouse!

Once it rains and the river floods some, I'm pushing it in."

The boy wakes up for school the next morning and see that it rained a bit, enough for the river to rise ...

Little Timmy and the Outhouse

There was a child on a farm named Timmy. Now Timmy loved growing up on the farm with his family. He enjoyed helping out in the fields, he loved feeding the sheep and cows, and he was always happy to help out in the barn. The one thing Timmy did not like, was having to clean out the outhouse. He abso...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Animals in the forest have a meeting. The bear as the chief of the forest decides to create an outhouse and they immediatelly built it.

The next day the outhouse has broken window.

So the Bear called everyone and said:

Who knows something about that?

A squirel put her arm up and says:

"I know something about that.."

"I was jumping from a branch to a branch and suddenly the wolf took me, clean his a...

The Farmer and the Outhouse

One night, a farmer's outhouse is knocked over.

In the morning, the farmer approaches his son and asks, "Son, did you knock over the outhouse last night?"

"No Dad, I didn't."

"Son ... let me tell you a story. When George Washington was a little boy, he chopped down his father's...

What does Disney have in common with a guy in an outhouse in Chicago?

They’re both making frozen number two.

What do a missile silo and an Alaskan outhouse have in common?

They both contain IC BMs.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is using an outhouse....

and is taking a pleasant dump one hot summer evening. As he finishes, he stands up, wipes, and begins to pull his pants up. As his pants are coming up a dollar and fifty cents falls out of his pocket and lands in the hole from which he has just risen. "Goddamnit!" he exclaims in anger as he hurriedl...

A long time ago, an Indian chief fell into an outhouse.

An Indian chief fell into an outhouse.

Several days later a man went into the outhouse and noticed the chief. Startled the man asked, "How long have you been in there?"

"Many moons my son, many moons!"

And that was my favorite joke as a kid.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Man goes to his son and asks 'Did you tip over the outhouse'?

Son says, 'Father, I cannot tell a lie: I tipped over the outhouse into the creek'. Father says 'That's it, you're going to the woodshed for some serious ass-whuppin!' 'But Father, George Washington told his dad the truth about chopping down the cherry tree and didn't get punished!' 'George Washi...

Anyone ever read " thousand miles to the outhouse" by Willie Makeit

Published by Betty Dident.

A cowboy peers down the pit of an outhouse...

He sees an Indian standing at the bottom.
He asks, "How long have you been down there?"
The Indian replies: "Many moons."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

in for a penny, in for a pound

A farmer is in the outhouse, and when he pulls up his pants, a quarter rolls out of his pocket and falls down the hole. He swears and pulls out his wallet and throws down a $5 bill. Later as he's telling his wife about the ordeal, she asks, “Wait, why’d you throw in the $5 bill?” He replied, “Well I...

Two old Norwegians, Sven and Oli, were drinking coffee one morning and complaining about farming....

Two old Norwegians, Sven and Oli, were drinking coffee one morning and complaining about farming. Sven complained of the costs of fertilizer, and Oli asked why he didn't just use the nightsoil from his outhouse? Sven said, "Ya, well I used to, but I really hate shoveling it all out."

Now, O...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I got this one from the 2012 film 'Lincoln'

Ethan Allen was a Revolutionary War hero who had occasion to visit England shortly after peace was declared. During this trip, Allen’s British hosts pelted him with jokes about Americans and General Washington in particular and one day they got a picture of General Washington which was conspicuously...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

at a comunitty outhouse while camping

A man is taking a piss when another man enters. Shuffling to do his business, the new comer acidently drops a $5 bill down into the muck below.

Noticing the original occupant says "that sux" but is flabbergasted as the new man pulls out his wallet and drops a $20 down there as well. "Why'd ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Joke from my southern grandmother

I haven’t seen this one on here before, but maybe I’ve just missed it. Here goes:

Back yonder in the olden days, little Johnny would have to walk to the school house for class. As with many young children, Johnny was very imaginative and would play pretend with sticks and branches, sword figh...

A blind guy (Dale) goes to a lumber yard looking for a job. Once he finds the freemans office he introduces himself and asks for a job.

The foreman (Greg) is unsure how a blind guy can work at a lumber yard and expresses his concerns.

Dale explains that bind people usually have heightened senses in the other areas. In his case his sense of smell is extra keen.

Greg tells him Dale that he doesn't understand how that wi...

George Washington's Cherry Tree

A man approaches his son and asks, "Did you push our outhouse into the ditch yesterday?"

The boy replies "No, father; I didn't push the outhouse into the ditch."

The man says "Did I ever tell you about George Washington, a great American hero? When George Washington was a child, he g...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Shortly after the Revolutionary War, the American war hero Ethan Allen was in London for some business.

His hosts were very patriotic Englishmen, so there was inevitably some tension between them. One day, they acquired a portrait of George Washington and hung it in their outhouse, so that you could only see it when you were seated and the door was closed.

After Ethan came in from using it late...

A young man from the hills of Kentucky came home on leave from the military.

He knew his family would ask a million questions, so he managed to convince his sergeant to let him take home his weapon and a training grenade.

As he crested the hill, his cousins and siblings came pouring out to see him, but immediately saw his rifle and begged him to let them shoot it. So...

Did you hear about the guy

Who traded his wife in for an outhouse?

He said the hole was smaller and smelled better.

The Farmer and the Cherry Tree

A farmer rounded up his three sons and said sternly "I want to know which of you boys pushed the outhouse over, but before I do I want to tell you a story. When George Washington was a boy, he chopped down his father's favorite cherry tree. When his father asked, George admitted his deed, saying, ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Ma and Pa

Ma and Pa were two hillbillies living out on a farm up in the hills.
Pa has found out that the hole under the outhouse is full. He goes into the house and tells Ma that he doesn't know what to do to empty the hole.
Ma says, "Why don't you go ask the young'n down the road? He must be smart 'cau...

In the early 20th Century, Thomas Edison was spreading the word about electricity.

Once, while vacationing out West, he stopped at the Sioux reservation. Edison was shocked to learn that there was no indoor plumbing, and that he would have to use an outhouse. In fact, he was told, the Sioux had to use the outhouse regardless of the weather.

To help the Sioux, Edison insta...

What do you call a guy/girl with no arms and no legs jokes. (WDYCAGWNAANL)

Ok these are pretty common, so I'll start with a couple of standards and then add some I came up with.

WDYCAGWNAANL in a mailbox? Bill

WDYCAGWNAANL in front of a door? Matt

WDYCAGWNAANL in the water? Bob

WDYCAGWNAANL in a pile of leaves? Russel.

In a hole? Doug....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The farmer's wife makes dinner.

The farmer's wife makes dinner. She cuts down a chicken from the coop, opens it and guts it out. Because there's no use of it, she takes the guts to the outhouse and throws it down the gutter.

Later that night, after finishing dinner together, the wife goes to sleep, while the farmer drinks s...

Hillbilly Ma says to her son,

"Jethro, I need you to fix the outhouse."

"What fer ma?"

"Jis go 'n hava look."

So Jethro walks out to the outhouse, opens the door, and looks, "I don't see nothin wrong here ma," he says.

"Look closer," says Ma. Jethro moves into the outhouse.

"Still don't see nu...

A polish guy and a German guy are arguing..

The polish guy said Polish people are the smartest people in the world. He'd even made ludicrous claims. He said the Polish people invented the outhouse. The German looks at him and says "yes, but it was us DAMNED Germans who put the hole in the floor"

A Pilot Is On A Plane About To Crash

A pilot is flying a plane when all of the sudden the plane begins to go down. Panicked, the pilot attempts to throw things out of the plane to make it lighter.

He announces this and is given three items a apple, a banana, and a bomb. He desperately throws them all out of the window one at a ...

A social worker from a big city.....

.....recently transferred to the sticks in south Georgia and was on the first tour of her new territory when she came upon the tiniest cabin she had ever seen in her life.

Intrigued, she went up and knocked on the door.

'Anybody home?' she asked.

'Yep,' came a kid's voice thr...

A man gathered all of his children together and said...

“Children when George Washington knocked down the cherry tree, he told his father honestly that it was him , now answer me honestly, Who knocked down the outhouse?

Finally the youngest son admitted it was him, at which he received a lashing he wouldn’t soon forget. “That's not fair” complain...

An old Navajo is being chased by settlers...

He runs into the nearest structure he can find, which happens to be an outhouse. Unshaken, he jumps in and hides. The settlers give up on their chase and the old Navajo is seemingly stuck.

A few days later, a young Navajo walking into the outhouse and sees the old Navajo still hiding.
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A distressed guy walks into a bar...

He sees his friend sitting at the counter and he pulls out the $60 dollars he owes him and gives it to him while ordering a shot for himself.

"Thanks man," his friend said. "But what's wrong with you, you all right?"

The distressed man looks at his friend, sighs, and downs his shot. He...

A farmer sitting on his porch

A farmer is sitting on his porch, when he hears a loud crash behind his house. So he grabs his gun takes off out back and sees his outhouse destroyed reindeer laying on the ground Santa's sleigh laying on its side. Then Santa stands up, yelling "Rudolph, you idiot I said the Schmidt house! "

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Ambassador to England

Just after the war of 1812, an ambassador to England from the United States had been dispatched in order to maintain the peace with the English. The diplomat was invited to a formal dinner with many important members of the English Government as they discussed peace talks and opening diplomacy.
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A hunting story.

So three buddies were on a hunting trip in the mountains. It had been an exhausting trip but they had managed to kill a couple of dear and were back at their campsite late at night. One of them was facing the dilemma of answering nature's call or just simply crashing into his sleeping bag for the ni...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Back around 1800...

A very patriotic American goes to visit England. The locals listen to his accent and determine he's from America. At hotel where he's staying, there's only one outhouse to use, and the locals hang up a portrait of George Washington on the inside, thinking he would be offended. However, they watch as...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.