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Pedicure Jokes

What do you call someone addicted to Pedicures?

A Clipped toe maniac

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man with 3 girlfriends is trying to figure out which one of them to marry.

There was a man who had 3 girlfriends, but he did not know which one to marry. So he decided to give each 1 $5000 and see how each of them spent it.

The first 1 went out and got a total makeover with the money. She got new clothes, a new hairdo, manicure, pedicure, the works, and tells the m...

I asked my daughter what day she wanted to get a pedicure.

She said “there’s no day like toe-day!”

Why should you always get a pedicure before planting your garden?

Toes before hoes

Why don’t cows get pedicures?

Because they lack toes!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you know that Hitler was in dire need of a pedicure while he was leader of the third reich?

He was a toe-talon-aryan

Just got back from my pedicure

And I no longer find the neighbour's 10-year-old daughter attractive

What do you call someone obsessed with procuring free pedicures?

A clip-toe-maniac

I'm talking to my daughter, sister in law and my dad just now. SIL: Have you ever had a pedicure? Daughter: oh yeah I have. Me: I've given her a pedicure before.

Dad: so I guess you could call yourself a... pediphile.

*Ugh* thanks dad.
And yes this actually just happened.

My girlfriend was giving me my first pedicure

I asked her if the tool she was using to rub my feet was called a pedofile.

Why doesn't Jesus enjoy manicures or pedicures?

Because they always try to mess with his nails.

A beautiful girl...

...was giving a pedicure to a man who was at the same time also getting a shave at a salon. The man says”

"What about a date later?"

"Am married", she replied.

The man said:

"So?, call your husband and tell him you are going to visit a girlfriend"

She said:
"You...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I treated the wife to one of those fish pedicures and I must say I was very pleased with the result.

Those piranhas don't fuck about.

Why did the remorseful child-molester paint his toe-nails?

He thought it would be a pedicure.

^^^sorry.

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