I asked my daughter what day she wanted to get a pedicure.

She said “there’s no day like toe-day!”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man with a foot fetish got a job giving women pedicures...

Sounds obvious, right? Probably happens all the time.

However, this particular voyeur was really bad at controlling himself and concealing his intentions. One day he was in the process of painting a woman's toes, but he took a bit too much pleasure in it, as doing so gave him an erection so...

Why should you always get a pedicure before planting your garden?

Toes before hoes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you know that Hitler was in dire need of a pedicure while he was leader of the third reich?

He was a toe-talon-aryan

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I treated the wife to one of those fish pedicures and I must say I was very pleased with the result.

Those piranhas don't fuck about.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was a man who had 3 girlfriends, but he did not know which one to marry. So he decided to give each one $5000 and see how each of them spent it.

The first 1 went out and got a total makeover with the money. She got new clothes, a new hairdo, manicure, pedicure, the works, and tells the man, "I spent the money so I could look pretty for you because I love you so much."
The 2nd one went out and bought new golf clubs, a Dvd player, a televis...

Why don’t cows get pedicures?

Because they lack toes!

Just got back from my pedicure

And I no longer find the neighbour's 10-year-old daughter attractive

I'm talking to my daughter, sister in law and my dad just now. SIL: Have you ever had a pedicure? Daughter: oh yeah I have. Me: I've given her a pedicure before.

Dad: so I guess you could call yourself a... pediphile.

*Ugh* thanks dad.
And yes this actually just happened.

My girlfriend was giving me my first pedicure

I asked her if the tool she was using to rub my feet was called a pedofile.

A beautiful girl...

...was giving a pedicure to a man who was at the same time also getting a shave at a salon. The man says”

"What about a date later?"

"Am married", she replied.

The man said:

"So?, call your husband and tell him you are going to visit a girlfriend"

She said:

What do you call someone obsessed with procuring free pedicures?

A clip-toe-maniac

Why did the remorseful child-molester paint his toe-nails?

He thought it would be a pedicure.


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