This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a rooftop bar and takes a seat next to another guy. “What are you drinking?” he asks the guy.

“Magic beer,” he says.

“Oh, yeah? What’s so magical about it?”

Then he shows him: He swigs some beer, dives off the roof, flies around the building, then finally returns to his seat with a triumphant smile.

“Amazing!” the man says. “Lemme try some of that!” The man grabs the bee...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A businessman met with the hitman on the rooftop as planned

"Look at those bastards cheating on me, in my own bedroom!" The businessman picked up a monocular and looked into the house across the street. "Like I said on the phone,I want them to die slowly.Shoot the fucker on the dick or something."

"No problem." The hitman set up the sniper rifle and l...

My friend opened a rooftop pub and wanted to make it the best in the business.

He wanted to set the bar really high.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two men are sitting at a rooftop bar...

Two men are sitting at a rooftop bar enjoying a few drinks and getting to know each other. A few hours go by and the men are pretty plastered at this point. One of the men looks at the other and says, "you know what, I like you, let me show you a secret about this place.

The man guides his ne...

A man walks onto a rooftop bar.

Gets a beer on the house.

Two ninjas are talking on a rooftop

Ninja 1: Hey can you show me your Throwing Star skills?

Ninja 2: Shuriken

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Superman is flying high above the sky when he notices Wonder Woman lying naked on a rooftop with her legs spread...

...so he decides to quickly fly down, bone her, and fly out before she even notices. In a split second he swooshes in and does just that.

"What was that?" Wonder Woman shouts loudly.

"I don't know but my butt hurts," Invisible Man replies.

What's the difference between cellular mitochondria and a home's rooftop solar array?

One is the powerhouse of the cell. The other is the power cell of the house.

Two blondes were standing on the rooftop of the highest building

First one looked down and asked:
"Hey, if I jump down from here, how long do you think it would take me to reach the ground?"

Second one then also looked down and said:
"Well, it's pretty high up here. I think it would take at least 5 days!"

"Really? Ok here's another one" she co...

A young boy died today from falling off a rooftop after doing LSD...

His parents said he had a bad trip.

Two mice are walking on a rooftop

When suddenly, one of them stands on his hind lags, and waves to a bat. What was that all about? His friend asks. That was my brother. The 2nd one replies. He has gone with the air-force.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Ireland’s on lock down due to the virus!!

Paddy and Murphy have just been signed up by the army.

They are given a rifle each and told...

“Listen up men! We are on the lookout for Virus Curfew offenders.

Martial law has been declared!

Anyone caught out after 6 PM ……….. it's SHOOT TO KILL”!!!

On their ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There were two guys at a rooftop bar. The first says "you see this beer in my hand? Three swigs of this can make me fly around this building." He takes three swigs, does a swan dive off the roof and flies around it.

As he settles to the ground the second man exclaimed "I need some of that!" The first man gives him the bottle which he takes three drinks from. The second man does an identical swan dive and falls to his death. The waiter approaches and exclaims, "HOLY CRAP SUPERMAN, WHAT THE HELL!"

A fellow was stuck on his rooftop in a flood. He was praying to God for help...

A fellow was stuck on his rooftop in a flood. He was praying to God for help.

Soon a man in a rowboat came by and the fellow shouted to the man on the roof, "Jump in, I can save you."

The stranded fellow shouted back, "No, it's OK, I'm praying to God and he is going to save me. NEXT!"<...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two guys are at a rooftop bar.

One guy says to the other “I bet you $100 I can jump off the roof and pop right back up.” The second guys says “yeah right, you’re on!” First guy walks over to the side, jumps off and then a couple seconds later, sure enough, here he comes back up onto the roof.

The second guy is both dumbstr...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] Wonder Woman is laying naked, face down, on a rooftop...

...when Superman flies by and sees her. Her naked body has him feeling all types of ways, so he starts to think, "You know, I'm faster than a speeding bullet. I could be in and out of there before she even realizes what happened."

So, Superman flies in, does his business and takes off.
<...

A Muslim, Buddhist and Christian stands on a rooftop.

They all have great faith towards their respective God and agreed they jump from the rooftop of a 20-storey building and that they will be saved.

So the muslim, very firm in his belief, jumped first and started calling to Allah.
He chanted "AllahAllahAllahAllahAllah....." repeatedly with g...

A physicist sees a guy standing on ledge of the rooftop and shouts...

Don't do it! You have so much potential!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Superman's Affair

One night, Superman flies to chase a criminal. Suddenly he saw a naked woman at the rooftop of a building. And the woman bowed. From the top of the building, Superman stops flying. When he floated, he began to check who the woman was.

"Oh my God! That's Wonder Woman!" "What is she doing in th...

Why didn't the security guard want to work at the rooftop bank?

Because he was scared of heists.

Two guys in an asylum decide one night they're sick of living there, and decide to escape. They make their way to the roof, and just across this tiny gap are the rooftops of the town, glowing in the moon light. Freedom The first guy jumps right across but his pal didn't dare for fear of falling.

However, the first guy has an idea...
He says "Hey! I got my flashlight! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!"

The second guy just shakes his head and says: "Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn off the light when I was halfw...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two men are attempting to escape a mental asylum...

their plan is simply to access the asylum's roof and hop from rooftop to rooftop until they reach freedom.

On the night of their escape they make it to the roof and realize the distance to the next building is farther than they had anticipated. Never the less the first guy makes the jump easi...

A hitman has a high profile Indian Businessman as a target

He receives intel that the Indian Businessman will have a quick exchange with another associate in a crowded marketplace at 1200 the next day. He is also given a description of the target and warned that the target will only stay for a few minutes at most. That night, the hitman sets up on the rooft...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Superman and Batman meet up on the rooftops,

and Batman notices Superman looks a little banged up. "What happened to you Superman?", asks Batman. Superman says, "You won't believe this shit Bats. I'm flying along right, and I see Wonder Woman sunbathing nude on the roof of this building spread eagle!" "Wow," says Batman with a grin. "So,"...

Two guys are talking at a fancy rooftop bar.

Clearly drunk out his mind, one guy says to the other, "Ya know...the air currents are sho shtrong up here...hic...you can float on 'em like water."

Also wasted, the other guy says, "Ah, you're crazy. You can't do that! (Burp)"

The first guy says "S'true! Juss watch!"

So he stum...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So one day Superman is flying around Metropolis and he sees Wonder Woman sunbathing nude on a rooftop...

So one day Superman is flying around Metropolis and he sees Wonder Woman sunbathing nude on a rooftop, spread eagle and everything.
Supes says to himself, "I gotta get me some of that Wonder Pussy. I'm faster than a speeding bullet. I can be in and out before she knows what hit her in the eye."...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young women is at a rooftop bar alone...

She sees a cute guy alone too, she walks up to him and asks him "so what are you drinking tonight?" he says "magic beer." Confused she laughs and responds "magic beer? Prove it!" so he takes a sip and jumps off the balcony then proceeds to fly around the building. Amazed she dares him to do it again...

A Taxi driver walked into a bar

"Anyone here call a taxi?" He asked

"Over there" replied a stern voice.

The Taxi driver turned his head to see a gruff old man pointing to a young fellow in his thirties snoozing at a table.

The taxi driver walked over to the young man and saw a note next to his head.

...

An Italian, Irish and Polish construction workers take their lunch break on a rooftop at their job site.

The Italian man opens his lunch pail and in despondently exclaims,

"Spaghetti and meatballs *again*!? Every day my wife makes me the same thing and I just can't take it anymore."

The Irishman opens his lunch pail and angrily declares,

"Shepard's pie, ugh!!! Another day of Shepar...

Two antennas met on a rooftop...

...they fell in love and got married. I heard the ceremony was pretty average... but the reception was excellent!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two sociopaths was being locked up in a psychiatric hospital.

One day they both decide that they dont like it there and they want to escape.

They wait for nighttime and eventually they make it to the top of the building and they now stand on the edge of the rooftop, only jumpingdistance away from the next rooftop.

One of the sociopaths jump over ...

A smoker was approached by someone who said "don't you know smoking is bad? you'll die!"

The smoker was silent for a few seconds before responding "you're right, a rooftop would be more efficient"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Superman is flying through Metropolis

Superman is flying through Metropolis, feeling rather horny. He glances around, and spots Wonder Woman lying naked on a rooftop with her legs spread apart.

Using his super speed, Superman flies over to her, does what he came to do, and in the blink of an eye, is gone.

"What was that?" ...

An American Indian meets a cowboy

Since neither of them knows each other's language, they start a sign conversation.

Indian approaches first, pointing his finger to cowboy's chest. Cowboy responds with pointing his two fingers to Indian's face. Then Indian makes a rooftop gesture with his hands, to which cowboy reacts with a ...

So those two guys want to escape a mental asylum...

They came up with a brilliant plan of running away by jumping on rooftops. When they managed to get to the roof the first man jumped a giant gap and made it to the other building, he then called out his friend to jump.

“Hell no I’m not gonna jump that, I’ll fall and die, better be trapped in ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Magic Beer

An oldie. Potential repost. Because everything is reposti.


A woman sees a a very handsome man sitting at the bar in an upscale rooftop pub. She convinces herself she needs to talk to this guy, and sits down beside him.

'What are you drinking?" The woman asks.

"This is magic ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One of the only jokes I remember from childhood...

Superman was flying around Metropolis on a sunny day, and it was a boring one. No crime to fight.
So he keeps flying around the city, cruising around - and finally he sees Wonder Woman on top of a building, sunbathing in the nude.
Superman circles around the city a few times, getting hornier...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two drunks are at a bar having an argument.....

Two drunks are are in a rooftop bar having an argument about politics, sports, trivia and what ever is on tv. When one drunk looks at the other and says " Did you know that the updraft is so strong between these buildings that if you jump off, it will blow you right back to the top?"

"Bulls...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is walking on the street when another falls right next him; on his feet, unharmed.

"Wow! How did you do that?"
"Well, actually anyone can do it," says the fallen man. "I'm a Geophysicist, I study areas of low gravity.
There is one in this precise spot. Anyone can jump from that rooftop and land slowly and unscathed.
I see you don't believe me. Let me demonstrate one...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman is out of town on business

and decides to head down to the hotel bar for a quick drink on her first night there. She sees the bar isn't all that crowded and easily finds an open seat.

She grabs a menu and the only other guy sitting at the bar moves over next to her. He reeks of booze. He says to her, "I wanna tell you...

A guy drank some magic beer

A man sat alone at the bar of a rooftop club. Soon another man sat beside him and asked him what he was drinking.

"Magic beer." the man said.

"What do you mean by magic beer?" the new arrival asked.

The magic beer drinker took 2 gulps of beer and jumped off the building....

A blonde and a redhead watch the news...

A blonde woman and a redhead woman went to lunch. They had
to wait for their table so they sat in the bar and had a drink. The
TV was on and they noticed the news was showing a man on a
rooftop threatening to jump. The redhead told the blonde "I
bet you 50 bucks he jumps." The blo...

4 little kids were arguing which one had the tallest dad...

The first one says: "my dad is the tallest dad of em all! when he raises his arms, he can touch the roof in our house!"
"that's nothing!" yelled the second kid: "when my dad raises his arms, he can touch the rooftop of the building we are living in!"
"oh yeah?" yelled the third one; "well, whe...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Magic Beer

A guy walks into a nice rooftop bar on the 30th floor of his hotel and sits down. Wondering what to have he asks the guy what he's having, the guy says he's having Magic Beer.

"Magic Beer" the guy asks, "How is it magic?"

The guy says "Just watch" he drinks down his beer and jumps of...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy finds out his wife cheats on him with his best friend...

He decides he wants to take revenge... by hiring an assassin.

After meticulous searching, he finds the best at the profession: a sniper so good he never missed a shot. The assassin charged a fixed $10k fee per bullet. The guy hesitantly agrees to hire him.

Then he proceeds to tell the ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The International Synesthesia Conference

I bumped into my friend at the International Synesthesia Conference. All he could talk about was this amazing bakery he passed on his way to the event.

"The smells! They were... magnificent... orgasmic!" he exclaimed. "Let's step up to the roof! I bet we could smell it from here!"

Aft...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Superman is flying around on patrol,

when he sees Wonder Woman nude on a rooftop. She is squirming and moaning. Superman says to himself, "I can fly down there and fuck her so fast she wouldn't even know it." So he flys down, gives a few good pumps and flys away. Wonder Woman pops up and screams, "What the fuck was that?" The Invisible...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Superman is flying around the city looking for crime to fight...

Suddenly, he sees Wonder Woman, laying on a rooftop bare naked, with her legs wide spread, grinding and writhing sensually. He gets hard instantly and decides to give her the time of her life. So he flies down, fucks the shit out of her at super sonic speed, busts his nut, and flies off again before...

Jesus, Moses, and an old bearded guy are playing golf...

Moses steps up first and lands his ball in a water hazard. He then proceeds to part the water where the ball is and lands it in the hole.

Jesus hits his ball and also lands it in the water hazard. So he walk on the water, picks it up, places it on a nearby lily pad and also lands it in the h...

I was standing in line at the supermarket checkout last week.

I turned around and saw a beautiful young woman who looked a little familiar. I told her that I thought I knew her, to which she replied, "Well you should remember me. You`re the father of one of my kids."

I had to stop and think, and then it hit me. "New Years Eve - 2008. That rooftop pa...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Superman's flying around.... (comment from r/pics)

Superman's flying around metropolis and he's horny as hell. He's checking out the rooftops and all of a sudden he sees Wonder Woman sunning herself on the roof of the Justice League. I mean she is lying there buck naked and spread eagle. Looks like she wants to get fucked right? So Superman starts t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Superman

Superman was flying around the city doing his superman thing when all of a sudden he see's Superwoman tanning naked on one of the rooftops.

He thinks to himself "Man, I would LOVE to bang Superwoman, but she HATES me; I'll never get a chance. Wait a second, I'm Superman, I'm faster than a sp...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The floating man

A man named Billy was drinking on a rooftop bar when a dapper fellow came up next to him and ordered a drink.
"Ill take the usual" the dapper fellow says, and the barkeep reaches under the bar and pours the man a shot. He takes it, walks over to the edge of the roof, and jumps.
Billy runs ov...

God will save me

A terrible storm came into a town and local officials sent out an emergency warning that the riverbanks would soon overflow and flood the nearby homes. They ordered everyone in the town to evacuate immediately.

A faithful Christian man heard the warning and decided to stay, saying to himself,...

A small neighborhood was flooded...

...so much to the point that the rooftops were the only dry place. Vince and Frank were seated on one roof, waiting for rescue, when suddenly, out of one of the houses, they observe a floating hat.

It drifts over to a shed nearby and then drifts back to the front of the house. Bubbles started...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.