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There was a cat, a cow and a horse who lived on a farm.

It was a massive farm in Virginia which spanned a few acres, and every day the three animals would work on the farm. Even though it was exhausting, it was very rewarding.

One day, the cat decided to take the day off. While the cow and the horse worked on the farm, the cat sat down and watche...

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Vladimir Lenin and Nadezhda Krupskaya are sitting on the veranda of their dacha.

Krupskaya turns to Lenin and asks, "Vladimir Ilich, if you were to die, would you want to be buried or cremated?"

Lenin replies, "I don't give a shit. They could make me a mummy for all I know."

What do you call an Irishman sitting on his veranda?

Patty O'Furniture.

A woman settles down on the veranda of a restraunt to eat some lunch and enjoy the sunshine with...

Her dog. She scoops the little old dog out of her purse and holds him in her lap while she reads the menu. A man, a few seats away sitting at a table littered with empty beer bottles, turns around, looks and the woman and her dog and scoffs, "THAT is the ugliest thing I have ever seen." The woman fl...

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A 9 year old girl is playing with her younger sister...

... In the backyard of the house, when the older girl tap on her sister shoulder and point at the neighbor house saying:

_"Oh my god, look the neighbor's wife is giving a blowjob to the mailman under the veranda!

And her innocent sister ask with a cute little voice:

_"What's a v...

An Australian ventriloquist visits NZ

An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand walks
into a Small village and sees a local sitting on his veranda patting his dog.

He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Kiwi

'G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?'

Villager: 'The dog doesn't talk, you stupid...

Secret of a successful marriage!

An old man married for 52 years was asked by his neighbor about the secret for his successful marriage.

The old man stated that on the night of his marriage, he and his newly wed bride had decided that if one of them ever got angry with the other, they would settle the issue peacefully.
...

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Good old Stalin.

So Stalin wakes up one morning and goes to his balcony, where the Sun is rising in the east.

"Good morning, comrade Sun!" he calls out.

"Good morning, comrade Stalin!" the Sun replies, "I hope you slept well."

At noon, Stalin goes for a walk, he looks up at the Sun and says, "go...

Thadeus and Thelma

Thadeus and Thelma are an older couple, sitting at home on the veranda having drinks and she says, "I love you."

He asks, "Is that you or the wine talking?"

She replies, "It's me............. talking to the wine."

Aging

A young married couple was invited to their friend's home for dinner one evening. Their host was an elderly 82-year-old couple.

The young couple was impressed by the way the elderly man preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms like: "Darling, Sugar, Dear, Honey, Sweetheart," et...

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A team of sociologists have planned an experiment in isolation.

They send an American, a Frenchman and a Japanese man to a deserted island, and arrange to come back and pick them up in a years time to see how they have adapted. The sociologists leave, and the three men decide to split up the tasks amongst themselves.

"I'm an engineer" says American, "So ...

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Bertha & Myrtle were sitting in their rocking chairs...

...on the veranda at the old folks home. Bertha turned to her friend and asked, "Myrtle dear, did you ever smoke after sex?"

Myrtle reflected for a moment and replied, "To tell the truth Bertha, I never looked."

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