UPJOKE
properaccuraterectifyexactprecisechangerightcompensateredresstruealtermodifyaccuratelypreciselyexactly

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The technician didn't wire up the elevator buttons correctly

It's wrong on so many levels…

How to correctly give parent your school report

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, 'Dad'. With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands.
...

Fun fact: You can’t breathe correctly while smiling

Just kidding, I made you smile :)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

By legalizing Cannabis and same-sex marriage we finally interpreted the Bible correctly:

**"A man who lays with another man should be stoned."** [Leviticus 20:13 esv]

The word 'homeowner' has the word 'meow' in it

Good luck pronouncing it correctly ever again..

^(^-you're ^welcome)

My Vietnamese friend is very particular about people pronouncing words in his language correctly, so I called him a “Pho-cist”.

He was pretty offended, and I haven’t seen him since I don’t know, Nguyen.

A traffic cop went through the trouble of putting a note on my windshield to let me know I positioned my car correctly.

It said **'parking fine'** so that was nice.

a blonde desperately wanted to win the lottery.

So she prayed to God one day and asked him to help her win the lottery.

The next morning the blonde woke up and she didn't win. So she prayed to God again asking to win the lottery. She reasoned that she'll use the money to do a lot of good and cure all diseases in the world.

The next ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Blind guy at he lumber yard Long

A blind guy applies for a job at the lumber yard. Owner can't discriminate so he gives him an interview with the understanding that he has to get 100% on the interview to get hired.

1st task is to walk over to a skid of oak and tell what it is. Guy bends over and smells it, says that is easy...

How are men like a linoleum kitchen floor? If you are able to lay them correctly the first time,

Then You Are Able To Walk All Over Them For The Next Twenty Five Years.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It ain't rigged.

A gas station owner in Mississippi was trying to increase his sales. So he put up a sign that read, *"Free Sex with Fill-Up."* Soon a local redneck pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free sex. The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly he would get his free s...

So what if I can't spell "armagedon" correctly ?

Its not the end of the world.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I’ll see you on Tuesday!

There was this teacher who taught 5th grade History at a little school in little suburbia. Every Friday at the end of class, she would speak a famous quote and ask the class with “Who said that?” Whoever the first student who answered correctly was told they could skip class on Monday.

There ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.