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By legalizing Cannabis and same-sex marriage we finally interpreted the bible correctly:

"A man who lays with another man should be stoned."

Fun fact: You can’t breathe correctly while smiling

Just kidding, I made you smile :)

I find it hard to understand that people still don’t know how to correctly use “their”, “there” and “they’re”

Their so stupid.

If I'm good at lip reading correctly...

Then my neighbours are calling the police about some creepy guy staring at them through the window next door.

So what if I can't spell "armagedon" correctly ?

Its not the end of the world.

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I was once promised one hundred virgins in afterlife if I lived my life correctly and humbly.

But it won’t be much fun, I don’t even speak Klingon. :(

Why can’t the British pronounce there t’s correctly

Because the Americans dumped it all

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There was a very, very unlucky man with a single testicle.

One day, he went on a plane. Unfortunately, a malfunction occurred. The flight crew announced that the plane was going down and one of the passengers had to be thrown out to reduce weight.

To determine the victim, passengers drew lots, and the unlucky man was chosen. He refused furiously, say...

If I remember correctly, the game “Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes” had a very brief stint of enormous popularity out of nowhere.

No one was talking about it, and it exploded onto the scene.

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Little Johnny was in class one friday.....

The teacher said we'll play a game, whoever answers my questions correctly can leave early for the weekend. The first question was, who started a speech with "four score and seven years ago "? Several kids raised their hand and little Johnny was waving his hand frantically in the back of the class....

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A gas station owner was trying to increase his sales, so he put up a sign that read, “Free Sex with Every Fill-Up.”

Rob pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free sex. The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10, and said that if he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex. Rob said "today is my birthday, i'm feeling LUCKY and I guess 8".

The owner said, “You were very close, the lucky numb...

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So there’s this teacher that tells her class anyone who correctly answers a special question she’s going to ask on Friday won’t have to come to school on Monday.

On the first Friday, the teacher asks, "How many grains of sand are in the beach?" Needless to say, no one could answer.

The following Friday, the teacher asks the class, "How many stars are in the sky?" and again no one could answer. Frustrated, little Johnny decides that the next Friday, he...

A traffic cop went through the trouble of putting a note on my windshield to let me know I positioned my car correctly.

It said 'parking fine' so that was nice.

A Blonde is very upset at people stereotyping blondes, so she organises a blonde convention. Over 50,000 blondes attend.

The leader stands on a stage and says,
"Us blondes have always been misrepresented by the media and we have always been stereotyped. We are here today to prove us blondes aren't dumb! Now may I have a volunteer?"

A blonde steps onto the stage.

"What is ten divided by two?"

Th...

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A guy is constantly suffering from terrible headaches...

A guy is constantly suffering from terrible headaches. He goes to a bunch of doctors, runs any test imaginable, and no one can figure out why. One day a doctor tells him- “I think we figured out a solution, but you’re not going to like it. If we cut off your balls, the constant headache will stop”. ...

If you can write the word "mitochondria" correctly...

... then you truly are the powerhouse of the spell.

The creator of the PDF format died today

The good news is we can confirm the Save to Cloud feature has worked correctly.

A time keeper at a factory is in charge of blowing the whistle for the lunch break at noon.

When it's almost noon he looks at his watch and right when it strikes 12pm he blows the whistle.

One day he bumps his watch against something and he fears that it is a little off.

Wanting to make sure that he can do his job correctly he decides to go get his watch set by a professional...

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A dwarf with a speech impediment goes into a stud farm, 'I'd like to buy a horth' he says to the owner of the farm.

'What sort of horse?' said the owner.

'A female horth' the dwarf replies. So the owner shows him a mare. 'Nithe horth.' says the dwarf,

'Can I thee her eyeth?' So the owner picks up the dwarf to show him the horses eyes. 'Nithe eyeth.', says the dwarf,

'Can I thee her teeth?'...

Only 10% of Americans file their taxes correctly.

It's hard to believe that 95% of us can't do simple math.

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A scoutmaster and his girlfriend go hiking in the woods...

They take a break in a rocky clearing with odd writing. After a while, they get frisky, and decide to play a little game called hide the sausage. They look around for people even though they’re in the middle of nowhere. It seems all clear and they go for it. Little did they know, they were in the mi...

Coffee

I asked my dad if I have ground the coffee correctly.

He said it is fine.

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