This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A businessman was going on a long business trip. He knew his wife was a flirtatious sort, so he thought he'd try to get her something to keep her occupied while he was gone.

So he went to a sex shop and started looking around. He goes up to the clerk and explains his situation. The old man said, "Well, I don't really know of anything that will do the trick. We have vibrating dildos, strap ons, eggs, bullets, wing-wangers and fling-flongers..."

The Businessman in...

Laws of physics vs the law

Heisenberg, Shrodinger and Ohm were driving down a highway when they get pulled over by a cop. The cop asks Heisenberg if he knew how fast he was going, as you can surmise, he claimed he didn't know because he knew exactly where they were. The cop, finding this suspicious asks them to open the t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A German soldier, Japanese soldier, and Italian soldier were interrogated

A German soldier said he would not speak, but he did. The Japanese soldier said he would resist, but he spoke, and the Italian soldier was the only one who did not speak. When they asked him how he resisted, he said "my hands were tied"

I caught my son biting the electrical cord

I was shocked and grounded him. He resisted but I told him to stay positive. It's been a week, he's currently doing better and conducting himself properly.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Heisenberg, Schrodinger, and Ohm were driving along when a cop pulls them over.

Cop: Do you have any idea how fast you were going?

Heisenberg: No, but I know exactly where I am.

Cop: You were doing 55 in a 30.

Heisenberg: Great, now I'm lost.

Cop: What's in the trunk?

Scrodinger: My cat.

The cop opens the trunk.

Cop: Your cat is ...

The personal trainer at the gym advised me to try some resistance training. So far it's going really well.

I've resisted going to the gym for six days now.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Voodoo Dick [NSFW]

A young Marine was preparing for his first deployment when he overheard some of the senior enlisted in his company talking about their wives cheating on them while they were away.

"My wife screwed the mailman"

"My wife screwed my best friend"

"My wife screwed Ssgt Jones's wife"...

A man returned from funeral

A man returned from funeral and his friend asked him where he’s been.

“I went to the funeral of my mother-in-law.”

“I’m so sorry, maybe that’s why you look so beaten?”

“Well, she resisted.”

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.