UPJOKE
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I hate it when Windows 10 resets my default browser...

It puts me on Edge every time

What do you call a scale that always resets itself to zero?

Tareable

One day, you wake up and everyone has a number over their heads. The number is counting down by the second. Eventually, someone's number reaches zero, and....

They sneeze. Their number resets.

When I went to Heavan...

I meet with Paul the Saint. He points to a bunch of clocks behind him

Paul: These are clocks that measure how honest you are. Yours is at 12:45, meaning you have lied 45 times in your lifetime
Me: Whose that clock at 12:00 belongs to?
Paul: That's Mother Teresa's. She has been a p...

So this guy goes to the bank

and wants help with his online banking. The banker quickly realizes that the customer simply locked himself out of the online account, so the banker unlocks the account. The customer then tries to log in using the mobile app, but fails.
The banker, confused, unlocks the account and asks if the c...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A scientist is studying a trained frog.

This frog has been trained to jump on command. Any time it hears the phrase "Jump, frog, jump!" it leaps with all its might.
The scientist prepares a scalpel, sewing kit, and measuring tape and begins his experiment; he says "Jump, frog, jump!" and as soon as the frog hears his voice, it jumps....

An officer routinely waits outside the bar...

An officer routinely waits outside the bar in his squad car on the weekends to get an easy catch on the drunk drivers. This particular night on his early patrols he passes a large group of regulars walking into the bar. He makes a mental note to come back and wait. A few hours later the officer pull...

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