A beautiful woman walking into a sporting goods store...

She spends a few minutes shopping around until she finds a fishing rod that she would like to buy for herself. She picks it up and brings it to the front counter. When she arrives the only cashier is a blind man.

"Good choice" The blind man says "That rod is only $20 this week"

"How do...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

An old farmer is sitting on his porch

An old farmer is sitting on his front porch watching the sunrise when he sees the neighbor's kid walk by carrying a spool of something metallic under his arm.

"Hey boy, whatcha got there?"

"Chicken wire."

"What you gonna do with that?"

"Gonna catch some chickens."

...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The old man and little boy...

One day an old man was sitting on his porch and sees a young boy walking by holding a spool of chicken wire. The old man calls out to the boy and asks, "What do you have there boy?" The boy says, "I got me some chicken wire, I'm going to catch me some chickens!"
"I don't think it works that way, ...

The fishing trip

So four high school friends have gone fishing together every year for the last two decades. That was until this year, when Jim had to inform the group he couldn't make it.

"Look, it's the wife. She's been saying I haven't been spending enough time with her."

Of course, the others were...

Three Strings are sitting around in their apartment...

...and the first one says "You know what? I'm tired of just sitting around here. We should DO something." The second replies "We should go to a fancy restaurant!" The third string says "Hey, I know one just down the road!" So, they hop in the spool and drive down to the restaurant. But, when they ge...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

An old man is sitting on his porch....

As a young boy strolls by holding a spool of chicken wire.
''What're ye fixin to do with that chicken wire son?'', he asks.
''I'm gonna catch me some chickens sir!'', the boy proudly states.
Half amused, the old man laughs.''Ye don't use chicken wire to catch chickens boy!?!'' But the young...

Tickle Me Elmo Factory

The Tickle Me Elmo factory has just hired a new employee, and today's her first day on the job. The plant manager gives her a quick tour of the assembly line, then shows the employee her station at the end of the line where she will be operating. The morning whistle blows and production on the line ...

Some of my favorite Scandinavian UFF DA jokes

Ole and Lars were business partners and good friends. One day Lars started off for work and discovered he'd forgotten his tools. Returning home, he looked around for his wife, Lena, and finally found her in the bedroom. To his surprise, she was on the bed with no clothes on. "Vat in the vorld are yo...