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Reminds Jokes

My Ex reminds me of a boxing ring.

It’s not unusual to find three men inside her.

Yesterday I saw two teenagers making out in the park, reminds me of my teenage days….

reminds me of my teenage days when I used to see other teenagers make out in the park

My wife reminds me of Ariana Grande.

She’ll say “Don’t forget, next Wednesday we’re seeing Ariana Grande”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I got kicked out of a restaurant for having improper dress. Reminds me of a funny story.

An Afghan, an Albanian, and Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguan, an Argintine, an Armenian, and Austrailian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese...

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A college teacher reminds her class of the next day’s final exam.

“Now class, I won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that’s it, no other excuses whatsoever!”

A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and ask...

Joke from 1907: "This wireless telegraphy reminds me of a groundless quarrel"

"What possible connection is there between the two?"

"It's practically having words over nothing!"


(Stolen from the latest Vsauce short on YouTube)

When I look at my wife, she reminds me of the Universe

As she gets older, she gets wider and less hot.

My ex-girlfriend reminds me so much of Rapunzel...

Except Rapunzel lets her hair down while my ex lets everyone else in her life down

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My secretary reminds me of my wife.

I was unbuttoning her blouse at lunch today when she said, "Remember, you have
a wife."

Algebra reminds me of my past relationships

I mean, have you ever looked at your x and wondered y?

My wife reminds me everything

My wife reminds me every day before I leave something I forgot and wanted to leave.

Sometimes the car keys, sometimes the watch, sometimes the house keys, sometimes important documents, sometimes my mobile, and it makes me feel old and my memory is weak. So I decided to put a limit on my forg...

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My wife has a sexy nightgown that I like because it reminds me of one my mom used to have.

I call it her Freudian slip.

My wife minored in psychology. She's always using all her amateur psychology when we argue.

When I fired the pool boy, she said, "Well, you know, you're only firing him because he's so young and good looking, and you feel threatened and insecure, because it reminds you of your own mortality, and you're projecting all these insecurities onto someone else in a very passive/aggressive way, be...

The new guy at work reminds me a lot of Matthew mcconaughey

He keeps saying things like, "Hey man, don't forget about Matthew Mcconaughey".

Me: My friend reminds me of Gandhi.

My wife: He looks nothing like Gandhi!

My friend, tapping me on the shoulder: Don’t forget about Gandhi.

This time of year reminds me of that time I spent Christmas on the road ...

I stopped into a little diner for breakfast, and ordered the Christmas Eggs Benedict. The waitress came and delivered it on a shiny metal plate. I said, "This is fancy." She replied, "Well hon', you know there's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise!"

Reminds of the time I was reincarnated,

I was never the same man after that.

North Korea reminds me of a redhead

Because they both have no Seoul

Reddit reminds me of 1849

Everyone is searching for gold, but few actually get it.

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A beautiful college professor reminds her student of the big test tomorrow

She says "You cannot be absent unless you are wounded, seriously ill or you have a sudden death in the family." One boy asks "But what about extreme fatigue from a hot night of sex?" When the class is done laughing the professor smiles and says
"In that case you can write with your other hand."

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This reminds me of the time I fucked a half Korean girl.

Her mom was Korean and her dad was Korean and her legs were blown off in a car accident.

This 2020 Presidential election reminds me of the 2000 election....

But a lot less Gore-y

The toilet paper issue reminds me of a joke

When the white man first arrived to North America and set up camp, they weren't sure what to expect for their first winter. So, one man decided to chop a bunch of wood so it would be handy.

After befriending some nearby natives, he asked how cold the winters got. The native said, "Its going t...

Whenever I see an Astronomy discovery it reminds me of this joke

An astronomer, a physicist and a mathematician were on the train from London to Edinburgh, as they passed the Scottish border they saw a black sheep.

'Ah ha' said the astronomer 'from that I can deduce that in Scotland all sheep are black'

'No' said the physicist 'we can deduce that in...

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[NSFW] Anal virginity reminds me of leftover pasta

squishy and delicious, but soon forgotten

I get so annoyed when my wife reminds me to fix something.

If I said I’m going to fix it, I’ll fix it.
There’s no need to remind me about it every three months.

NSFW Cop pulls over a blonde for speeding

When he gets up to the window he asks for her licence and registration.

“What’s a licence” she asks

So the cop explains what a licence is.

The blonde quickly says “Oh I have one of those” and hands it over to the cop.

“I also need to registration” reminds the cop

“...

My girlfriend reminds me of my pinky toe

She's small, cute, and will probably end up getting banged on my coffee table tonight

A bloke bumped in to me on the tube the other day and said, "Remember Leonardo Di Caprio."

Then the same fella followed me home from the pub and said, "Remember Leonardo Di Caprio."

Things then got out of hand when he tapped on my window at 11.30 that night and said, "Remember Leonardo Di Caprio."

I thought, "That's it, I'm going to the Police."

I told the officer I w...

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Reddit upvote system reminds me of my sex life.

The first one free after that you gotta actually try

YouTube reminds me of your mom

It went down on all of America last night.

My dad reminds me of George Clooney.

Because they both don't know I exist.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Your butthole reminds me of Spiderman.

It's a Peter Parker.

My nerf gun bullet reminds me of my father

Both disappeared after I've played with them

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A woman wants her vaginal lips reduced in size

A woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wants her vaginal lips reduced in size because they were flapping in the breeze. Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret and the surgeon agreed.

Awakening from the anesthesia after the surgery she found three roses careful...

Healthy Marriage reminds me of Cheap Electronics

Battery’s not included

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A teacher reminds her class for tomorrow's exam

A teacher reminds her class of the yearly test tomorrow.

"And remember class, there is no excuse for missing the test tomorrow, not a hurricane, not a funeral, not a nuclear attack, nothing!"

Little Johnny in the corner then pipes up and says

"What would happen if I came into c...

My credit card reminds me of school,

0% interest for the first 9 months.

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A young man tells his Mom he’s gay

A young man decides that the upcoming holiday is a good time to tell his Mom that he's gay. He's in college, making new friends, and will eventually want to bring one of them home to meet the family. He spends the drive home going over the conversation, what he'll say, what she'll say, how he'll ans...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An English teacher reminds her...

An English teacher reminds her students of the written test in her class tomorrow:


"Now, I don't want anyone to miss this important finals exam! I will not tolerate any excuse whatsoever for your absence--unless of course you had to go to the hospital because of a serious injury, or someo...

Your mom reminds of bricks

She's constantly getting laid by Mexicans.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My girlfriend has the same first name as my sister...

... So whenever we have sex and she screams: "Say my name", I always feel bad because it reminds me of my girlfriend.

My face reminds of me of David Copperfield

Because it makes beautiful women disappear

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I always carry a picture of my wife and kids in my wallet.

It reminds me of why there is no fucking money in there.

Drinking brandy always reminds my of my Grandmother

She never touched the stuff, but she's Very Special, Old and Pale.

Netflix reminds me of my girlfriend

Probably because it's constantly asking me if I'm still here.

Or maybe because it's not a real human being.

Christmas reminds me of a 25 letter alphabet

No L

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The current situation in America reminds me of a porn video i watched

Where everyone gets fucked but nobody gets paid

That reminds me of a theatre production based on the dictionary...

It was a play on words.

The presidential race between Hillary and Trump reminds me of the first AVP movie.

Whoever wins, we lose.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My girlfriend said my penis reminds her of a motorcycle.

I asked if it was because it was fun to ride?

But she said "No honey, its because its a two-stroke."

This humid weather reminds me of New York in the 80's

Muggy.

Lebron reminds me of Michael Jordan...

...when Jordan played baseball

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

That reminds me - one time I accidentally masturbated on a classy guy while he was sunbathing,

but I didn’t mean to get off on a tangent.

The Middle East reminds me of that old joke about the optimist and the pessimist

The pessimist says "everything's terrible, it can't get any worse." the optimist says "oh yes it can."

The jokes section on Reddit reminds me of the brilliant work of a perfect A+ student I went to High School with

But only in the sense that literally everything he ever wrote was plagiarized

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