What did the Australian say when his grandfather left a message to call back?

"Boomerang."

What does CNN call back-to-back aviation disasters?

Christmas in July

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A man calls his boss one morning, and says..

“Hey boss, i’m sorry but I don’t think i’ll be able to make it today. I’m feeling really under the weather.”

His boss, a pretty old fashioned man, replies:

“Listen here, mister. Whenever I feel under the weather, I go see my wife, and tell her to polish my knob, grease my engines and d...

Bad day

So one day a dog walks into a bar and asks the barkeep for a dirty vodka martini up with three olives. The bartender shocked at a talking dog was speechless and just stared at him. So once again the dog asked “hey bartender do you mind if I get a dirty vodka martini up with three olives please?” The...

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First Time Teacher

Day 1 of home schooling


0800  opened school website to get assignments.


0900  found where assignments were hidden on the website.


0915  called school to have the website explained.


0930  called school again.


0945  Had wife call school ...

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