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Reminding Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman was on the way to winning $100,000 on a game show, but her final question was suspended for the next night.

Her husband sneaked into the studio and found the question and answer. He raced home and told his wife "Your question is 'What are the three main parts of the male anatomy', and the answer is 'The head, heart and penis.'

The woman thinks about this throughout the night, but keeps forgettin...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Pope announces he's kicking all the Jews out of Rome...

Outraged, the Jewish community call for a chance to debate the Pope and fight to stay.


They elect their best Rabbi and he travels to the Vatican to sit down with the Pope and plead for the Jews right to stay in Rome.


Since the Pope only speaks Latin and the Rabbi only s...

if school was a game, there would be loading screen tips reminding you to

stay behind cover and only move when the enemy is reloading

What kind of bread always needs reminding?

Focaccia!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You can always get lucky on new years day by reminding your lover

We haven't had sex all year.

Doctor: Your brain fell out after your accident, but we managed to put it back in

Me: Thanks for reminding me

Yoda and Luke are walking through the swamp. Part of their usual training course involves shimmying along a cliff ledge, but today, there’s a long break in the ledge they can’t cross...

“Something for this I have.” Yoda says. He reaches into his bag and takes out a bunch of regular dinner table forks and a roll of duct tape.

He tapes several forks together to make a bridge and lays it down, allowing the two of them to get across.

When they get back to Yoda’s hovel, th...

Two officers are walking the streets reminding people that curfew starts in 15 minutes

Suddenly one of the officers shoots a guy running home.

The second officer asks "Why did you shoot him, the curfew hasn't started yet?"

The first officer replies: "I know where he lives, he wouldn't have made home in 10 minutes".

I'm very stern in reminding people to tip generously when they go eat somewhere

Especially somewhere like my house.

I tried comforting the jilted bride by reminding her...

"At least the wedding went off without a hitch."

Just reminding everyone on the sub, 9/11 jokes aren't funny.

They're plane wrong.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Whats the first thing you do after sex?

Finish the autopsy while reminding myself that one moment of weakness does not make me a bad vet.

When I was young, I remember my mom constantly reminding everyone at dinner that she didn’t have a favourite child.

Harsh, given that I’m her only kid.

My girlfriend made me one of those sculpted 3D cakes for my birthday but wouldn't stop reminding me how it took her all day to decorate it..

..which is surprising since to me it looked like a piece of cake

My love, you remind me the sea...

Why? is it because of my beautiful blue eyes reminding you the ocean's water?

No

I know, it's because of my curly hair, reminds you the waves.

Not really.

So it's my perfume? reminds you that fresh air near the beach?

Nope.

So what is it then?

You mak...

A married's man prayer

Dear God, you gave me childhood and you took it away.

You gave me youth and you took it away.

You gave me a wife.......... Its been years now, just reminding you.

When a woman says she'll be ready in 15 minutes she will be.

No need to keep reminding her every hour.

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