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Reminded Jokes

My dentist reminded me of my wife's sensitive gag reflex. We laughed & laughed.

Then I remembered that my wife & I have different dentists.

Don’t you hate it when you can’t sleep because you are reminded of a mistake you made 2 years ago?

I hate it when my kid cries in the middle of the night

I met a man who reminded me of my dad. He came up to me and said....

Don't forget your dad.

I was auditioning for a play today, and the director yelled at me. He said my acting reminded him of a female reproductive organ! Needless to say I stormed off…

But after I thought about it, I went back. I had to apologize for ovary acting.

I told my new flat mate that she reminded me of my little toe. “Is it because I’m small and cute?” she asked....

I replied “No, it’s because when I get drunk I’ll surely end up banging you on the coffee table...”

There are a pair of twins called Ving and Ling. Ving decided to go to the town hall to change his name. Ling decided to give him a lift there. When they arrived Ling reminded Ving that he would disgrace their family if he changed his name to Lee.

Ving takes a form and quickly fills it out to change his name. He sends off the form, but immediately starts to regret it. He is told that to revoke his form he must pay a small fee. Ling takes out her purse and is about to hand over the money when suddenly…
A man, their father, bursts through th...

"Fifty Bucks is Fifty Bucks" reminded me of this one.

A man and his wife were driving from New York to California. Along the way the wife would find every little thing wrong with her husband's driving.
"You're driving too fast." "You missed that exit." "You're tailgating."
This went on throughout the trip. As their car crossed the border ...

Just before a redneck had his first parachute jump, his sergeant reminded him,

"Count to ten, and then pull the first rip cord. If it snarls, pull the second rip cord for your auxiliary chute. After you land, our truck will pick you up."

The paratrooper took a deep breath and jumped. He counted to ten and pulled the first cord. Nothing happened.

He pulled the sec...

The three guys at an interview joke just posted here reminded me of another version we used to tell about 20 years ago.. is it a repost? I don't know, probably yes, but does anyone really care ;) ?

Three guys interviewing to be a detective.

The final step is with the chief inspector who says, "Ahh, so you wanna be detectives, eh? The first skill you need is perception, let's see how you guys do with that"

He calls them into his office one by one.

The first guy goes in and ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

February 15th - the Aftermath reminded me of a joke

When I saw a [thread](http://imgur.com/yKGB2Z6) on the aftermath of Valentines Day it reminded me of a joke - goes like this.

Boy walks into a pharmacy and walks over near the condom aisle passing by a few time looking very nervous. The pharmacist, a male, decides to take mercy on him and wal...

Bill Clinton tried to cheer up Hillary this morning.

He reminded her that Nelson Mandela wasn't elected President until after he had served 27 years in prison.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My son went over to check out a construction project at our neighbor's and it reminded me of this classic...

Little Johnny is bored and asks his dad for something to do.

"Go across the street to that construction site and talk to the workers. Maybe you'll learn something," his dad said.

Johnny was gone all day and finally comes home for dinner. During the meal, Johnny's dad asked, "you were a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My girlfriend said my dick reminded her of a star. I asked, "Because it's hot and brightens your day?"

She replied, "No, because it's a white dwarf."

A post in r/funny reminded me of one of my dad's favorite jokes...

Q: What do you call someone who speaks three languages?
A: [Trilingual](/spoiler)

Q: What do you call someone who speaks two languages?
A: [Bilingual](/spoiler)

Q: What do you call someone who speaks one language?
A: [American](/spoiler)

Einstein, Newton and Pascal decide to play hide and seek.

Einstein is it, closes his eyes, counts to 10 then opens them.

Pascal is no where to be seen. Newton is sitting right in front of Einstein, with a piece of chalk in his hand. He’s sitting in a square drawn on the ground, a meter to a side.

Einstein says “Newton, you’re terrible, I’ve f...

the three legged pig joke reminded me of a joke my dad once told me

a scientist was doing an experiment on a frog in his lab, he placed the frog down on the floor and said "Frog jump!". the frog jumped 4 feet and so he noted in his notebook

"frog with 4 legs, jumps 4 feet"

he then cut off one of the frogs legs and again said "Frog jump!". the frog jump...

Friend of mine just got his wife pregnant. Told him it reminded me of this joke.

This very young and innocent country girl fell madly in
love with this Greek guy and was determined to marry him.
Her mother tried hard to stop her, but when she knew she
couldn't stop her daughter, she said to her, "Listen child,
marry him and may you live happily ever after. But t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I told a customer that he reminded me of my father.

He says to me "Oh wow, he must be quite a nice guy!"

I told him "No, he's an asshole."

Recent events reminded me of this joke:

A jet is flying across the country when the passengers began to feel shaking.

The pilot announced, "Uh Folks, we just experienced some turbulence, which caused some engine troubles on our left wing. Luckily, this jet is equipped with 4 engines, and we still have 3 functional engines! Because ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An earlier joke on the sub reminded me of this old classic...

Three men are at a bar, drinking around a table.
One gulps his beer and loudly brags, "Last night I made love to my wife four times! She said in the morning it was the best sex she's ever had!"

Another slams his empty mug down and boasts, "That's nothing! I just fucked my wife *nine* times...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] Your gorilla joke reminded me...

A guy walks in to a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. After a few drinks, he and the bartender start talking about cars, family, and life in general - really hitting it off.

So the bartender says, "Hey bud, you want to see something really great?"

"Yeah, sure man. What is it?" ...

A man in the supermarket reminded me of Michael Jackson today.

He said, “Don’t forget about Michael Jackson”.

A billionaire is leaving his doctor's office when he gets stopped and reminded to pay

"Doctor," he says, I've decided not to pay you for your services. Instead, I'm writing you into my will. Will that suffice?"

"Of course," replies the doctor. "But can you please give me back that prescription? I need to make a small change."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

u/Jayhawk_Dunk reminded me a joke my dad told me

John Shit told his dad he wasn't happy about his name and he wanted to change it. His dad didn't accept it right away but well, he was 22 after all, he was an adult. If he wanted, he could not not disagree.

That day he went to the place to change his name.

*Good afternoon sir, what di...

Every time I eat eggs benedict I'm reminded of my time in the Netherlands.

You know, my Holland days.

I just came back from a trip to Thailand and I was quickly surprised by the many Caucasians. I was then reminded that this is not the politically correct name for them.

They would not like to be called Caucasians but Ladyboys instead

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I just met a guy in the supermarket who really reminded me of Elvis.

He walked up to me and said ‘don’t you fucking DARE forget about Elvis’.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I over heard some sexist guy claim, “Women are the weaker sex.” So, I kindly reminded him

that technically all women are Body Builders.

I just got reminded of my ex-wife who is deaf, she left me for another deaf person.

To be honest, I should have seen the signs.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The army camel joke reminded me of this (slightly NSFW)

A guy looking for a job finds that a certain mill is hiring lumberjacks. So he goes out to the mill and talks to the foreman who tells him all about the job, pay, and housing for all of the lumberjacks. Everything looks perfect and the guy is ready to go to work at once.

But when he was walki...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Yesterday's brothel joke reminded me of this.

So a broke dude goes to the brothel and approaches the bouncer. He tells the bouncer that he is very horny but all he has is $2.

The bouncer tells him that it's enough but he'd have to settle for the dead hooker on the third floor.

The man agrees.

After the deed, the bouncer a...

My last trip to Europe reminded me how bad I was at chess

I was beaten by a Czech mate

Anytime I have an anniversary, birthday or holiday I am reminded of the biggest joke of all

My life

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I met this sexy girl in a club tonight and told her she reminded me of my little toe. Giggling, she asked, "Why?! Is it because I'm small and cute!?"

"No..." I said. "It's because later, I'm gonna bang you hard on my coffee table."

All day I felt like I forgot something very important, then Don Cherry reminded me..

I need to start looking for a job.

My coffee reminded me of Ferguson today

Dark and full of shots.

When my wife gave birth to quintuplets it reminded me of an infomercial

But wait there's more

This Thanksgiving, we are reminded of the one universal thing that we should all be thankful for

Those that sort by new

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This woman said that I reminded her of Brad Pitt.

I was flattered, until she mentioned it was when he played Benjamin Button.

My girlfriend left me after I said she reminded me of our dessert, a baked Alaska.

Fire hot on the outside, but ice cold on the inside. I should have just said sweet.

When I look at my wife, I’m always reminded of my home in Ireland

Because she’s incredibly beautiful, wonderfully friendly, deeply cultural and innovative, but up at the top she’s a mass of complicated issues ready to tip over any second into bloody and terrifying violence.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Something elsewhere on reddit reminded me of this old joke. - - - Four nuns are tragically killed in a car accident.

Upon arriving at the Pearly Gates they find Saint Peter awaiting them.

He greets them politely saying, “My dear sisters in Christ, before I can allow anyone to enter the Kingdom of Heaven, I must ask each a question.”

Continuing, as he smiles down at them, “I must emphasize, being tru...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Saw this penis prank joke at the front page and reminded me of little johnny...

who wrote on the black board at classroom: "Johnny has an enormous penis".

After seeing it, the teacher erased it and said: Johnny, stay after class! I need to talk to you.

The following day, on the blackboard: "Advertisement is the soul of every business".

After the hurricane, fixing the fence around our family farm reminded me a lot of r/jokes

A lot of reposting

As I sat on the toilet this morning I was reminded of my first divorce.

At first I thought it had been a clean break, but then it got messy and there was lots of paperwork.

The North/South Korea conflict reminded me of an old joke set in Israel

Two old Israeli men are having lunch together, talking about this and that, politics and their jobs, and the conversation leads to them talking about the state of Israel.

"I'm telling you, Moskowitz, there's an easy solution to all the problems Israel has."

"I'm sure if there was one, ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

And on Good Friday, I'm once again reminded that I'm a lonely virgin.

Even Jesus got nailed today.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A post today reminded me of a joke my grandparents told me from the old country

http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/1ko1i5/my_wife_just_called_me_at_work_and_said_um_youd/

Theres a famous joke that my great grandparents told me. Its whats called a "Chelm Story". In jewish folk tales there is a mystical city of fools called Chelm. In a typical Chelm story, a jew would ...

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