UPJOKE
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Cavity Jokes

What do you call it when Donkey Kong gets a cavity?

Tooth DK.
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I choose to get a cavity search every 6 months

I love going to the dentist
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A dentist looks into a patient's mouth and says, "That's the biggest cavity I've ever seen. That's the biggest cavity I've ever seen."

"I heard you the first time," says the patient. "You didn't need to say it the second time."

"I didn't," says the dentist. "That was my echo."
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I recently had a check up. They told me I had a cavity that really needed a filling.

So I’m looking for a new proctologist.
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There is a mysterious blockage high up in my nasal cavity...

...I would like to figure out what it is, but I just can't put my finger on it.
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My dentist filled my cavity for me last week

But I have to admit, I didn't think my bum would still be this sore.

What is the scariest part of a cavity search?

When they put both their hands on your shoulders but keep searching
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What do you say when bees colonize your chest cavity and start a farm?

Bees till my beating heart.
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Last time I asked for a cavity search....

My dentist got really angry and threw me out of his office
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Did you hear about the New Ager who rejected anesthetic when he had a cavity filled?

He wanted to transcend dental medication.
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I was subject to a full cavity search by the authorities yesterday.

I would say it was hands *down* the shittiest part of my life, but...

A man went to the dentist to get his teeth checked for cavities

The Dentist: "Woah, that's a HUGE cavity - a HUGE cavity!"

The Man: "Enough, Doc, I heard you the first time!"

The Dentist: "Sorry, that was an echo."
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What song did Drake make after going to the dentist to fix a cavity?

In My Fillings.
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What do you call a vampire that wants to sneeze but lacks a nasal cavity?

Nose-for-ah-choo
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My dentist gives me cavity searches all the time.

I think I need a new dentist..
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That's the 10th cavity search I've preformed on a minor just today!

Busy day for a dentist!
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A dentist goes to another dentist to fix a cavity.

When his dentist started to explain the procedure, he stopped him and said, "Don't worry, I know the drill."
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The Cowardly Lion, Aslan, and Cecil are having drinks at a bar ...

They all look worn out so the bartender asks them why they look so beat.

The Cowardly Lion goes first and says, "Man, you have no idea what I went through just to get courage."

Aslan then chimes in quickly after that and says, "Nonsense, you have no idea what I went through just to get...
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What do dentist and police officers do when they get together?

Cavity searches
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A bad day at the dentist is better than a bad day at the airport.

Because a search for cavities sure beats a cavity search.
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Doctor's know...

"Doc, there's something strange going on, it's not normal."

Doctor asks "What do you mean?"

"Whenever I fart it sounds like I'm saying 'Honda'."

Doctor says "Go see your dentist, you've got a cavity."

So he goes to the dentist, and sure enough he has a cavity. Dentist ...
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I’ve been putting mouthwash in my ass, recently…

My girlfriend was concerned about my anal cavity

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An Irishman goes to the doctor

An Irishman goes to the doctor complaining of stomach cramps. After examining him, the doctor told the Irishman to pull down his trousers and bend over.

The doctor reached up the Irishman's poop shoot and extracted a twenty pound note.

Over the next hour the doctor kept pulling money...

Instead of going to the dentist, I go to the airport

That way, I never have to pay for cavity searches.
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How about instead of law and order there’s a show called law and hors d’oeuvres

and Ice-T says “we found deviled eggs and jalapeno poppers in the victim’s anal cavity”

I fell in love with a Dentist, she broke up with me.

Now my heart has a cavity no one can fill.
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The dentist

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "Went and had a cavity fixed this morning," the guy tells the bartender. "But it wasn't my usual dentist. Just some guy filling in."
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What’s a perverted dentists favourite part of an appointment?

The cavity search
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Why does TSA like to hire dentists as supervisors?

They are already experts in performing cavity searches.
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I've been a dentist for ten years.

This is the first time I'm getting a cavity search at the airport.
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While on the run from the cops, Peter hid in a dentist's office.

Seeing that the dentist left for a break, he quickly donned the uniform to avoid getting caught. Soon after, a man entered the office for his appointment. Peter knew nothing about dentistry but he was in too deep to bail.

The client said, "I have a problem with my cavity."

Peter, tryi...
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Now I'm not saying my dentist is a sex machine

I'm just saying he REALLY knows how to fill a cavity.

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What do you get in your teeth if you eat too much ass?

Anal cavity.

What does Bill Cosby and a dentist have in common?

They knock you out before they drill your cavity.
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Most people don’t realize how similar the jobs of dentists and correction officers really are.

They both mainly consist of cavity searches.
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There was this famous cheese maker

He made this cheese that would expanded grow when melted.
He was driving while drinking scotch and got into a accident with a school bus. The court case going as expected he was sentenced to death by electrocution. As a last meal request he asked for a quarter of a wheel of his world famous chee...

What type of toothpaste do they use in male prisons?

Cavity protection
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After rewatching Doctor Strange use the Eye of Agamotto

I thought that it would be a good idea to list other lesser known, possibly not as powerful, Eye Relics for those who may not know of their existence.

The Eye of Hellomoto: Helps improve Motorola phone reception.

The Eye of Pickamoco: Aids in clearing the nasal cavity of any sorcerer...
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What happens when you sit in sugar for too long?

You get an anal cavity.

The FBI Just raided a local dentist office

They are currently performing a cavity search
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The art of Veterinary Medicine

A classroom full of first year Veterinary students were participating in their first day of anatomy class. For the lecture, the professor begins by unveiling a dead cow under a white sheet laying on an operating table.

The professor tells the class "In Veterinary Medicine, there are two quali...

"I knew you had it in you" said the supporting officer...

As he finished the cavity search.
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What Not to Say to a Policeman:

-I cant reach my license unless you hold my beer.

-Sorry, Officer, I didnt realize I was driving.

-Wow, you must've been doing about 125 mph to keep up with me!

-I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.

-You're not gonna check the trunk...
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Why didn’t the astronaut brush his teeth?

They were already experiencing zero cavity.
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Woman to Dentist: "Its so painful"

Woman to Dentist: "Its so painful. I will prefer to get Pregnant than getting my cavity filled"
.

.

.

.

Dentist: " Make a Decision, I will adjust the chair accordingly."
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My girl threw this one at me right before bed: "Do you know why I don't like going to the dentist?"

Because they always do a full cavity search!
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Like pulling teeth

I had a wisdom tooth going bad and the dentist told me it wouldn't be worth filling the cavity and she just sent me to an oral surgeon to get the tooth pulled.

So I get there and I'm in the chair and I tell the guy "I've never had a tooth pulled." He was pretty seriously bothered that I used ...
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A man lives in a border town between the US and Canada

He lives on the Canadian side, but works in construction on the US side. Every morning, he walks over to the American side, and every evening, he comes back over to the Canadian side with a wheelbarrow full of sand. And, every day without fail, the Canadian Customs officers check him for any contrab...
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Brushing 3x a day

Mom walked into the bathroom one day and found young Mickey furiously scrubbing his dick with a toothbrush and toothpaste. “What the hell do you think you’re doing, young man?!” she exclaimed.

“Don’t try to stop me!” Mickey warned. “I’m going to do this three times a day because there’s no w...

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Top 10 Things That Prison Guards Hate

10) Inmates who don't flush after eating chili for lunch.

9) Coming up with one too many during a head count.

8) Having to break up a fight in the shower.

7) Being asked to be the bridesmaid when two inmates tie the knot.

6) Recognizing the newest inmate as your financial...

Why do dentists make the worst TSA agents?

They're always trying to do a cavity search
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Why did the drug mule wash his asshole with toothpaste?

The package said 'complete cavity protection'.

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Kinda long, but I couldn't get the flair to work.

An explorer gets lost in the Amazon rainforest. While searching for a way out, he stumbles upon a tribe of cannibals. They all want to eat the man, but the chief pities the man. He says to the explorer:

"Look. I know you're lost, so I'm gonna give you a chance to save your life." And with tha...

Dentist’s tombstone:

"Here lies Frank Serra, filling his last cavity".
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A man with a bad toothache visits his dentist

The dentist tells him that he has a cavity that is severely infected and that he will need to get the tooth pulled.

The man says that he will think about it and goes back home. He tells his wife that he doesn’t want to undertake the dental procedure until after the holidays and that he will ...

It really saddens me that police officers are so underpaid they have to take second jobs...

This lovely young officer pulled me over for drunk driving and is just going back to his car to get the stuff needed for a 'Cavity search'. Police officer and a dentist. What a hard working man.
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Two guys are stuck in prison.

Desperate to get back out and perhaps lead semi-regular lives, the two cellmates try to brainstorm for an escape plan. A mere hour and a half later, one of the men comes up with a plan: steal some children's craft scissors, smuggle them back to the cell, cut through the floor, and cut out a tunnel b...
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Why would a dentist make a good airport security guard?

They both enjoy a good cavity search!
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There's been a plane crash

The police show up at one of the victims doors;

Wife: Hello, do you have any news on my husband?

Police: Yes ma'am, I'm afraid we have some good news and some bad news concerning your husband.

Wife: Well tell me the good news first, I need something to raise my spirits.

...
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So how about a real joke about Bulgarians for a change?

A flying saucer beams up a German engineer, an Indian guru and a Bulgarian. The three of them are informed by an alien in a lab coat that standard procedure when contacting an unfamiliar species is to subject them to the standardized intergalactic intelligence test.

"You will be put in an air...

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This may be why Teachers retire early or turn to drinking: the following questions were in a (UK) GED (grade 12 equivalent) examination (they are genuine answers):

Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Sheik wears on his head. Once an Arab boy reaches puberty, he removes his diaper and wraps it around his head.

Q. How is dew formed?
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q. In a democratic society, how impor...

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I had a stutter when I was a kid

It was embarrassing and all of the other kids made fun of me for most of my life. Finally, when I was a junior in highschool, my parents sent me to a doctor.
“D-d-doctor”, says I, “p-p-please help me. I h-h-h-have this terrible stutter”
Doc said “Son, I have some bad news for you....your peni...

A man goes to the doctor.

He tells the doctor he's been hearing strange buzzing noises all week. The sounds come and go at all times of day, but they have been most intense at night. Sometimes there are multiple distinct buzzes at a time, at different frequencies. The patient says he has hardly slept for the past week becaus...
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A doctor was addressing his first year med students on their first day working with cadavers...

The doctor at the head of the class told them, "In order to make sure you all have the right stuff to become medical doctors, please do exactly as I do".

.

The doctor then made an incision into the abdomen on the body before him and waited until all of the students had done the same. ...
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Three explorers

There were three explorers who were sailing the seas in search for new land. They land on a small island, but as they leave their ship, they are confronted by a group of savages and their chief.

The chief says, "You are trespassing on our holy land and for that you must pay the consequences. ...

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Holy Shit!

The neighbors had been complaining that my dogs had been barking non-stop. I hate the electric zapping bark collars so I purchased a humane citronella collar. When a dog barks, it shoots a blast of citronella under their nose and apparently they don't like it.

This evening I was getting the c...

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