Muck Fichigan

There are an Ohio State fan, Michigan fan, and Penn State fan that all find themselves lost in a desert in the middle east. Finally after many hours of wandering around, they happen upon giant palace. Before they can make it up to the entrance, the guards capture them and take them down to the dunge...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

If you liked the film, Pulp Fiction, you may like this joke. Semi long, but the punch line....well you decide.

**Part 1, THE BUILDING SITE:**

**Two Kiwi’s are working on the 20th level of a building site in Auckland, New Zealand: Phul (Phil) & Muck (Mick).**

Phul turns to Muck & says "Cawww I've gotta take a piss, but there’s nowhere to go, eh"

"Walk out to the end of that plank...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A farmer goes outside to check his livestock

While observing the cattle he notices that he needs to clean up the accumulated manure in one of his corrals. So he gets the tractor and pushes the muck into a pile on the edge of the pen. As he does this, the pile leans against the fence causing the wood to break and splinter. The farmer turns to h...

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at a comunitty outhouse while camping

A man is taking a piss when another man enters. Shuffling to do his business, the new comer acidently drops a $5 bill down into the muck below.

Noticing the original occupant says "that sux" but is flabbergasted as the new man pulls out his wallet and drops a $20 down there as well. "Why'd ...

My grandfather got pretty burnt the other day

They don't muck around at the crematorium

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What's the difference between a sniper with bad eyesight and a constipated owl?

One shoots but can't hit, the other hoots but can't sh...

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EDIT: A collection of other [spoonerisms](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spoonerism) for your reading pleasure. And stop giving me sh... about not fu... cussing...

I walked into a public restroom

and saw a guy staring into a filthy toilet with a quarter at the bottom. He stood there looking conflicted for a minute, then pulled a twenty dollar bill from his wallet and threw it into the toilet. Then he reached into the muck and pulled out the twenty dollar bill and the quarter.

I asked ...

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The tourettes pianist

An out of work pianist with Tourettes Syndrome is strolling around the streets and bars of Soho one unemployed afternoon. Walking down Dean Street he sees a lounge bar with a sign in the window 'Pianist wanted for evening performances'.
'Fucking get in there you cunt!' he says to himself and goes...

What's the difference between a mountain goat and a goldfish?

A goldfish mucks about the fountain.

Seeing as you guys are liking these at the moment, What's the difference between a goldfish and a goat?

One mucks around in fountains.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Made this joke after being inspired by another, sorry for the length

One day in rural Minnesota, a girl called her friend up who lived just out of town to hang out. The girl's friend said that her father was still at work but she still wanted to go, so she would walk there and to expect her in an hour or more. Thirty minutes later the doorbell rang and it was her fri...

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Two Russians were walking through the woods...

And they came across a pile of brownish muck.
"Look like dogshit?" asks Commander Igor.
"Ya! Look like dogshit!" answers Ivan.
"Smell it!" commands Igor. Ivan gets down and takes a whiff.
"Smell like dogshit?" asks Igor.
"Ya! Smells like dogshit!"
"Taste i...

What's the difference between a politician and a catfish?

One's a bottom-dwelling, muck-sucker and the other is a fish.