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Trampoline Jokes

What sound does a plane landing on a trampoline make?

BOEING!!

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Three men are standing at the pearly gates...

Three men die and are standing at the pearly gates in front of St. Peter. St. Peter tells them, "To gain entry into heaven, you must tell me how you died."

The first man steps forward and says "Well, I got off work early today, and came home to my 10th floor apartment. Walked in, and found ...

I'm going to travel to Prague

Once there, I will enter a bank, and cover the floor with trampolines.

They'll have to deal with a bunch of bouncing Czechs.

What are security officers called at a trampoline park?

Bouncers

Fun history fact: The Trampoline was originally sold under the name "Jumpoline"

. . .until June 15th, 1982, when your mom got on one.

I've just started a new business selling trampolines in Prague

Getting a lot of orders, but the Czechs keep bouncing.

I just bought my son a trampoline for his birthday

But the ungrateful brat sat in his wheelchair and cried the whole time.

I’ve very recently started a company selling trampolines in Prague…

My first Czech bounced.

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What do you call a bouncy prostitute?

Trampoline

My wife was depressed so I bought her a trampoline to cheer her up

She's doing much better now but she still has her ups and downs.

Friends are like a trampoline

I always wanted a trampoline

Did you hear about the plane that crashed into the trampoline factory?

Witnesses heard a loud Boeing!

My Son is such a c**t...

I bought him a new trampoline for Christmas and all he wants to do is sit in his wheelchair and cry.

Bouncer: "I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

Me: "Why?"

Bouncer: "I have no idea who you are and this is my trampoline."

Tom goes to a funeral

So one day, Tom, who is a villager, receives a letter from his good friend Harry who lives in the city. The letter says that Tom's father died while in the city and he should come for the funeral. Tom is heartbroken and shaken due to the news, but he has to go anyway.

He arrives at the funera...

I had a friend who worked as a trampoline salesman for several years. I once asked him how that line of work was…

To which he replied “It has its ups and downs”.

I switched my girlfriend’s bed with a trampoline.

She really hit the roof.

A case study has found trampolines are involved in half of all ER admissions for under-14's.

The authors said the problem is tumbling out of control.

I have a real phobia of trampolines.

They always make me jump.

What do you call a lactating woman on a trampoline?

A milkshake.

I gifted trampoline to my son on his 7th birthday

I think he was so happy he bust into tears. He cried so hard that he fell out of his wheelchair

What's the best time to use a trampoline?

Spring time.

I’ve got a business...

What’s you business?

A trampoline company in Prague.

How’s it going?
It’s not great, the Czech’s keep bouncing...



What’s your business?

We repair elevators in high rise buildings.

How’s it going?
Meh, it’s up and down.


What’s your b...

My trampoline died today

RIP

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Today I bought my son a trampoline.

Instead of thanking me, he just starts bitching around in his wheelchair.

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Barnyard antijokes, written by an AI

Q:
What's the difference between a horse and a duck?

A:
A horse has legs but a duck has feathers.

Q:
Why do elephants play hide-and-seek?

A: They don’t have to worry about winning.

Q:
How much is a cow worth?

Answer:
100 Pounds.

Q: ...

Trampolines use to be called jumpolines

Until your mom used one back in the 80s

Yesterday I met my friend from Slovakia.

He had just opened up a trampoline park near the border there, yet he seemed saddened by something when I walked in. He looked up at me with tired eyes so I asked him what was wrong:

‘What’s the matter?’ I asked. ‘There are many people here, surely business is doing well?’

He replie...

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Kids are so ungrateful these days.

I got my 11 year old nephew a trampoline for his birthday, and instead of thanking me, the little cunt just sat in his wheelchair and cried.

Punctuation is important. Improperly used periods can alter the meaning of the entire sentence.

For example:

Teresa was on her trampoline, moving up and down in utter bliss.

Teresa was on her period, moving up and down in utter bliss.

What does a bored trampoline jumper say?

"Okay, bye. I'm gonna bounce now."

I was chatting to my mate from Liverpool.

Me: So what have you got your kids for Christmas?

Him: I got the youngest a trampoline and the

other 2 a bike each I found on the internet.

Me: What website were they on?

Him: Google Earth Street View.

The man who invented the trampoline died today.

His family remembers his last words... “Look what I can do.”

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My little nephew is going to grow up to be such an asshole.

Check this out, it’s his birthday a couple of weeks ago, and, being that his mother (my wife’s sister) doesn’t have much money, we decide to get him a really nice gift. You know, something a 7 year old kid would be thrilled with. So we buy him a full-size trampoline. This thing is like 10 feet acros...

What time of the year do big girls jump on trampolines??

Spring break..

I just bought a new Trumpoline

It’s like a trampoline except you never bounce back from it.

Friends are like trampolines...

I've never had one but they look fun

My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline.

She hit the ceiling!

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Baby Jokes [NSFW] [NSFL] NOT SAFE FOR ANYONE.

What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
You take off your boots before you jump on a trampoline.

How do you make a baby spin around?
Blender.
How do you take it back out?
Nachos.

What do you call a dead baby on a wall?
Art.
What do you call a dead baby ...

My boss at the trampoline store just got fired...

They found out he was paying us with bounced checks.

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This is kinda a long one

A dad decided to buy a lie detector and use it on his family at dinner one night. It beeps when a lie is said. The guy has a son, and a wife. “So” says the dad to the kid “what did you do at your friends house?” “Uh we went on his trampoline”. The lie detector beeped. “What did you really do?” “Fine...

What do my trampoline and my girlfriend have in common?

I don’t have a trampoline

Two planes jump in a trampoline

Boeing

What do you call the indoor trampoline park in Iraq?

Turban Air

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Me: I'm having a difficult time getting over my mother.

Therapist: I've got a trampoline.

Me: Doctor! My trampoline is sick!

Doc: I'm sure it will bounce back.

I met the inventor of the trampoline.

He's an all round nice guy, but a bit jumpy.

What's the difference between Donald Trump and a trampoline?

You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline

I put my foot through a trampoline last week...

I’ve had a spring in my step ever since.

Life is like a special kid on a trampoline

Its got its ups and its has its Downs

My girlfriend wanted to look smart on her trampoline.

So I bought her a jumpsuit.

A friend of mine opened a trampoline business in Prague.

I asked him how sales were and said "Well, the Czechs keep bouncing."

A friend of mine

started a business selling trampolines to fortune-tellers.

He says prophets are going through the roof!

So I was jumping on my trampoline the other day when a group of thugs started to approach me...

So I decided to bounce.

So I was out last night...

I was having a good time, until the bouncer came up to me and said, “Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.” I asked why and he said, “Well, I don’t know you, and this is my trampoline.”

Did you hear why they are naming Trampolines after a famous 90's rap duo?

Because Kriss Kross will make you jump jump

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I spent $200 on a new trampoline as my son's birthday present, but the little shit broke it on his first go at it.

That little shit also broke his Wheelchair, so that's another $200 I have to spend.

What do you get when you cross a cow with a trampoline?

A milkshake!

I just joined the mile-high club.

Very few people are that skilled on a trampoline.

Back in the day, I used to be a trampoline tester...

It had its ups and downs.

Paid a gorgeous Slovakian girl to bounce on a trampoline with me

The Czech bounced

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