I got my son a trampoline for his birthday

but all he did was cry in his wheelchair.

I had a friend who worked as a trampoline salesman for several years. I once asked him how that line of work was…

To which he replied “It has its ups and downs”.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I bought my son a trampoline for his birthday.

That ungrateful shit just sat in his wheelchair and cried the whole time.

Did you know the trampoline used to be called a Jumpaline?

Then your mom jumped on it

I switched my girlfriend’s bed with a trampoline.

She really hit the roof.

What do you call water that has been on a trampoline?

Spring water

Friends are like a trampoline

I always wanted a trampoline

What sound does a plane make when it lands on a trampoline?

Boeing.

The man who invented the trampoline died today.

His family remembers his last words... “Look what I can do.”

Trampolines use to be called jumpolines

Until your mom used one back in the 80s

I gifted trampoline to my son on his 7th birthday

I think he was so happy he bust into tears. He cried so hard that he fell out of his wheelchair

What does a bored trampoline jumper say?

"Okay, bye. I'm gonna bounce now."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Today I bought my son a trampoline.

Instead of thanking me, he just starts bitching around in his wheelchair.

I thought my son would like that I bought him a trampoline, but oh no.

he just wants to sit and cry in his wheelchair.

What time of the year do big girls jump on trampolines??

Spring break..

My child is so spoiled, I got him a trampoline for Christmas.

Instead of using it he just cried in his wheelchair.

Me: Doctor! My trampoline is sick!

Doc: I'm sure it will bounce back.

My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline.

She hit the ceiling!

What's the difference between Donald Trump and a trampoline?

You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline

I once told a joke about jumping onto a trampoline and nobody understood it.

I was pretty devastated, but it’s ok. I’ll bounce back.

I was the first person to install trampolines on musicians tour buses

Now everyone is jumping on the bandwagon.

What's the best time to use a trampoline?

Spring time.

What do you call a trampoline park security guard?

A bouncer.

I started a trampoline business in Prague. Business is good...

But the Czechs keep bouncing

My boss at the trampoline store just got fired...

They found out he was paying us with bounced checks.

Two planes jump in a trampoline

Boeing

I’ve got a business...

What’s you business?

A trampoline company in Prague.

How’s it going?
It’s not great, the Czech’s keep bouncing...



What’s your business?

We repair elevators in high rise buildings.

How’s it going?
Meh, it’s up and down.


What’s your b...

I met the inventor of the trampoline.

He's an all round nice guy, but a bit jumpy.

My trampoline died today

RIP

What do my trampoline and my girlfriend have in common?

I don’t have a trampoline

Life is like a special kid on a trampoline

Its got its ups and its has its Downs

Did you hear about the little girl who had her trampoline stolen?

Shes obviously gutted but she'll bounce back

I put my foot through a trampoline last week...

I’ve had a spring in my step ever since.

The trampoline used to be called a jumpoline.

They changed the name when my mother in law got on it.

My girlfriend wanted to look smart on her trampoline.

So I bought her a jumpsuit.

A friend of mine opened a trampoline business in Prague.

I asked him how sales were and said "Well, the Czechs keep bouncing."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I bought my son a trampoline for his birthday...

But all the little shit did was sit in his wheelchair and cry.

PS:Not sure if this one has been on here before or not, a friend told it to me and I thought it should go here.

So I was jumping on my trampoline the other day when a group of thugs started to approach me...

So I decided to bounce.

Friends are a lot like trampolines

They look fun, but I've never had one...

What do you get when you cross a cow with a trampoline?

A milkshake!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Barnyard antijokes, written by an AI

Q:
What's the difference between a horse and a duck?

A:
A horse has legs but a duck has feathers.

Q:
Why do elephants play hide-and-seek?

A: They don’t have to worry about winning.

Q:
How much is a cow worth?

Answer:
100 Pounds.

Q: ...

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My little brother Jimmy is such an ungrateful fuck.

I purchased a trampoline for him yesterday and all he’s done since is cry in his wheelchair.

I was chatting to my mate from Liverpool.

Me: So what have you got your kids for Christmas?

Him: I got the youngest a trampoline and the

other 2 a bike each I found on the internet.

Me: What website were they on?

Him: Google Earth Street View.

Did you hear about the leper on the trampoline?

He strained his leg.

^^^I'm ^^^sorry.

Bouncer: "I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

Me: "Why?"

Bouncer: "I have no idea who you are and this is my trampoline."

Funeral of my dad

A guy named Temel was walking on road with his head down and great sadness, some familiar faces saw him and asked Temel what happened Temel said his dad died and he is going to the funeral so they asked how did he die? Temel started telling

My dad was next to the window of a 10 floored workin...

Punctuation is important. Improperly used periods can alter the meaning of the entire sentence.

For example:

Teresa was on her trampoline, moving up and down in utter bliss.

Teresa was on her period, moving up and down in utter bliss.

God made a new rule...

You have to tell him how you died to get to heaven.

Guy 1 comes up and God asks him how he died, He said:

"I was walking home to my apartment and when I unlocked the door there was a burgular and he ran into my fridge. I threw the fridge out the window. I died of a heart attack though...

Paid a gorgeous Slovakian girl to bounce on a trampoline with me

The Czech bounced

How do you make a small fortune in the rocket industry?

By using a trampoline.

I just bought a new Trumpoline

It’s like a trampoline except you never bounce back from it.

I dropped a bottle of spring water into a pool

It turned into a trampoline.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Kids are so ungrateful these days.

I got my 11 year old nephew a trampoline for his birthday, and instead of thanking me, the little cunt just sat in his wheelchair and cried.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This is kinda a long one

A dad decided to buy a lie detector and use it on his family at dinner one night. It beeps when a lie is said. The guy has a son, and a wife. “So” says the dad to the kid “what did you do at your friends house?” “Uh we went on his trampoline”. The lie detector beeped. “What did you really do?” “Fine...

Yesterday I met my friend from Slovakia.

He had just opened up a trampoline park near the border there, yet he seemed saddened by something when I walked in. He looked up at me with tired eyes so I asked him what was wrong:

‘What’s the matter?’ I asked. ‘There are many people here, surely business is doing well?’

He replie...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My little nephew is going to grow up to be such an asshole.

Check this out, it’s his birthday a couple of weeks ago, and, being that his mother (my wife’s sister) doesn’t have much money, we decide to get him a really nice gift. You know, something a 7 year old kid would be thrilled with. So we buy him a full-size trampoline. This thing is like 10 feet acros...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Kids are really unappreciative sometimes

I got my little cousin Timmy a 1000 dollar trampoline and that little shit was still unhappy!

All he fucking did was sit in his wheelchair and cry

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Me: I'm having a difficult time getting over my mother.

Therapist: I've got a trampoline.

So I was out last night...

I was having a good time, until the bouncer came up to me and said, “Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.” I asked why and he said, “Well, I don’t know you, and this is my trampoline.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Baby Jokes [NSFW] [NSFL] NOT SAFE FOR ANYONE.

What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
You take off your boots before you jump on a trampoline.

How do you make a baby spin around?
Blender.
How do you take it back out?
Nachos.

What do you call a dead baby on a wall?
Art.
What do you call a dead baby ...

A friend of mine

started a business selling trampolines to fortune-tellers.

He says prophets are going through the roof!

I just joined the mile-high club.

Very few people are that skilled on a trampoline.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a prostitute with one leg shorter than the other?

A Trampoline.

Band Jokes!

I'm a band geek and love terrible band jokes. Here are some of my favorites!

How do you get two piccolos to play in tune? Shoot one.

What is the best use for a clarinet? Kindling.

What is the difference between a saxophone and a lawn mower? You can tune a lawn mower.

What...

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