UPJOKE
gymnasticsspringtrampoliningfabricjumpingshowjumpingdecathlonparkourspringboardteeterboardbungeefencinggymnastsnowboardacrobatics

Trampoline Jokes

Friends are like a trampoline

I always wanted a trampoline

What's the best time to use a trampoline?

Spring time.

What are security officers called at a trampoline park?

Bouncers

I've just started a new business selling trampolines in Prague

Getting a lot of orders, but the Czechs keep bouncing.

What’s the difference between a trampoline and a banjo?

You take your boots off when you jump on a trampoline!

I thought my son would like that I bought him a trampoline, but oh no.

he just wants to sit and cry in his wheelchair.

I just bought my son a trampoline for his birthday

But the ungrateful brat sat in his wheelchair and cried the whole time.

I’ve very recently started a company selling trampolines in Prague…

My first Czech bounced.

What sound does a plane landing on a trampoline make?

BOEING!!

What do you get when you cross a cow with a trampoline?

A milkshake!

Back in the day, I used to be a trampoline tester...

It had its ups and downs.

Did you hear about the plane that crashed into the trampoline factory?

Witnesses heard a loud Boeing!

My son is such a prick. I bought him a trampoline and he won't even jump on it.

He just sits in his wheelchair and cries.

What was the original name for a trampoline?

It was called a jumpoline until your mom used it.

My wife was depressed so I bought her a trampoline to cheer her up

She's doing much better now but she still has her ups and downs.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Today I bought my son a trampoline.

Instead of thanking me, he just starts bitching around in his wheelchair.

I gifted trampoline to my son on his 7th birthday

I think he was so happy he bust into tears. He cried so hard that he fell out of his wheelchair

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I bought my son a trampoline for his birthday...

But all the little shit did was sit in his wheelchair and cry.

PS:Not sure if this one has been on here before or not, a friend told it to me and I thought it should go here.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife just found out I replaced the bed with a trampoline

She hit the fucking roof

I have a real phobia of trampolines.

They always make me jump.

What does a bored trampoline jumper say?

"Okay, bye. I'm gonna bounce now."

Bouncer: "I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

Me: "Why?"

Bouncer: "I have no idea who you are and this is my trampoline."

Me: Doctor! My trampoline is sick!

Doc: I'm sure it will bounce back.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three men are standing at the pearly gates...

Three men die and are standing at the pearly gates in front of St. Peter. St. Peter tells them, "To gain entry into heaven, you must tell me how you died."

The first man steps forward and says "Well, I got off work early today, and came home to my 10th floor apartment. Walked in, and found ...

The man who invented the trampoline died today.

His family remembers his last words... “Look what I can do.”

Trampolines use to be called jumpolines

Until your mom used one back in the 80s

A case study has found trampolines are involved in half of all ER admissions for under-14's.

The authors said the problem is tumbling out of control.

Two planes jump in a trampoline

Boeing

What time of the year do big girls jump on trampolines??

Spring break..

Life is like a special kid on a trampoline

Its got its ups and its has its Downs

I met the inventor of the trampoline.

He's an all round nice guy, but a bit jumpy.

My boss at the trampoline store just got fired...

They found out he was paying us with bounced checks.

What do you call the indoor trampoline park in Iraq?

Turban Air

I put my foot through a trampoline last week...

I’ve had a spring in my step ever since.

Friends are a lot like trampolines

They look fun, but I've never had one...

What do my trampoline and my girlfriend have in common?

I don’t have a trampoline

I was the first person to install trampolines on musicians tour buses

Now everyone is jumping on the bandwagon.

I had a friend who worked as a trampoline salesman for several years. I once asked him how that line of work was…

To which he replied “It has its ups and downs”.

A friend of mine opened a trampoline business in Prague.

I asked him how sales were and said "Well, the Czechs keep bouncing."

My girlfriend wanted to look smart on her trampoline.

So I bought her a jumpsuit.

Did you hear why they are naming Trampolines after a famous 90's rap duo?

Because Kriss Kross will make you jump jump

Did you hear about the leper on the trampoline?

He strained his leg.

^^^I'm ^^^sorry.

I'm going to travel to Prague

Once there, I will enter a bank, and cover the floor with trampolines.

They'll have to deal with a bunch of bouncing Czechs.

Paid a gorgeous Slovakian girl to bounce on a trampoline with me

The Czech bounced

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Baby Jokes [NSFW] [NSFL] NOT SAFE FOR ANYONE.

What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
You take off your boots before you jump on a trampoline.

How do you make a baby spin around?
Blender.
How do you take it back out?
Nachos.

What do you call a dead baby on a wall?
Art.
What do you call a dead baby ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I spent $200 on a new trampoline as my son's birthday present, but the little shit broke it on his first go at it.

That little shit also broke his Wheelchair, so that's another $200 I have to spend.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Kids are so ungrateful these days.

I got my 11 year old nephew a trampoline for his birthday, and instead of thanking me, the little cunt just sat in his wheelchair and cried.

Punctuation is important. Improperly used periods can alter the meaning of the entire sentence.

For example:

Teresa was on her trampoline, moving up and down in utter bliss.

Teresa was on her period, moving up and down in utter bliss.

I just bought a new Trumpoline

It’s like a trampoline except you never bounce back from it.

I dropped a bottle of spring water into a pool

It turned into a trampoline.

So I was jumping on my trampoline the other day when a group of thugs started to approach me...

So I decided to bounce.

I’ve got a business...

What’s you business?

A trampoline company in Prague.

How’s it going?
It’s not great, the Czech’s keep bouncing...



What’s your business?

We repair elevators in high rise buildings.

How’s it going?
Meh, it’s up and down.


What’s your b...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My little nephew is going to grow up to be such an asshole.

Check this out, it’s his birthday a couple of weeks ago, and, being that his mother (my wife’s sister) doesn’t have much money, we decide to get him a really nice gift. You know, something a 7 year old kid would be thrilled with. So we buy him a full-size trampoline. This thing is like 10 feet acros...

I was chatting to my mate from Liverpool.

Me: So what have you got your kids for Christmas?

Him: I got the youngest a trampoline and the

other 2 a bike each I found on the internet.

Me: What website were they on?

Him: Google Earth Street View.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Me: I'm having a difficult time getting over my mother.

Therapist: I've got a trampoline.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.