Friends are like a trampoline

I always wanted a trampoline

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Today I bought my son a trampoline.

Instead of thanking me, he just starts bitching around in his wheelchair.

Trampoline

I just replaced our bed with a trampoline
My wife hit the roof

Trampolines use to be called jumpolines

Until your mom used one back in the 80s

What time of the year do big girls jump on trampolines??

Spring break..

I got my brother a trampoline for his birthday

He just sat there, and cried in his wheelchair, like the ungrateful person he is.

What’s the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies?

You take your shoes off to go on the trampoline

What do you call a trampoline park security guard?

A bouncer.

"This trampoline is for men only."

-mysogymnast

I thought my son would like that I bought him a trampoline, but oh sweet marry no.

Welp he just wants to sit. And cry in his wheelchair.

What's the difference between Donald Trump and a trampoline?

You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline

I was the first person to install trampolines on musicians tour buses

Now everyone is jumping on the bandwagon.

What sound was made when the airplane hit the trampoline?

Boeing

My child is so spoiled, I got him a trampoline for Christmas.

Instead of using it he just cried in his wheelchair.

Me: Doctor! My trampoline is sick!

Doc: I'm sure it will bounce back.

Friends are like trampolines...

I've never had one but they look fun

Funeral of my dad

A guy named Temel was walking on road with his head down and great sadness, some familiar faces saw him and asked Temel what happened Temel said his dad died and he is going to the funeral so they asked how did he die? Temel started telling

My dad was next to the window of a 10 floored workin...

My boss at the trampoline store just got fired...

They found out he was paying us with bounced checks.

I started a trampoline business in Prague. Business is good...

But the Czechs keep bouncing

What's the best time to use a trampoline?

Spring time.

Two planes jump in a trampoline

Boeing

My trampoline died today

RIP

So I was jumping on my trampoline the other day when a group of thugs started to approach me...

So I decided to bounce.

What do my trampoline and my girlfriend have in common?

I don’t have a trampoline

The trampoline used to be called a jumpoline.

They changed the name when my mother in law got on it.

I put my foot through a trampoline last week...

I’ve had a spring in my step ever since.

Did you hear about the little girl who had her trampoline stolen?

Shes obviously gutted but she'll bounce back

Did you hear why they are naming Trampolines after a famous 90's rap duo?

Because Kriss Kross will make you jump jump

My girlfriend wanted to look smart on her trampoline.

So I bought her a jumpsuit.

A friend of mine opened a trampoline business in Prague.

I asked him how sales were and said "Well, the Czechs keep bouncing."

I met the inventor of the trampoline.

He's an all round nice guy, but a bit jumpy.

My son is such a prick. I bought him a trampoline and he won't even jump on it.

He just sits in his wheelchair and cries.

I just bought a new Trumpoline

It’s like a trampoline except you never bounce back from it.

Bouncer: "I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

Me: "Why?"

Bouncer: "I have no idea who you are and this is my trampoline."

I dropped a bottle of spring water into a pool

It turned into a trampoline.

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My little brother Jimmy is such an ungrateful fuck.

I purchased a trampoline for him yesterday and all he’s done since is cry in his wheelchair.

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I bought my son a trampoline for his birthday...

But all the little shit did was sit in his wheelchair and cry.

PS:Not sure if this one has been on here before or not, a friend told it to me and I thought it should go here.

I used to work at a trampoline factory

It had its ups and downs

What do you get when you cross a cow with a trampoline?

A milkshake!

Punctuation is important. Improperly used periods can alter the meaning of the entire sentence.

For example:

Teresa was on her trampoline, moving up and down in utter bliss.

Teresa was on her period, moving up and down in utter bliss.

Did you hear about the leper on the trampoline?

He strained his leg.

^^^I'm ^^^sorry.

Paid a gorgeous Slovakian girl to bounce on a trampoline with me

The Czech bounced

God made a new rule...

You have to tell him how you died to get to heaven.

Guy 1 comes up and God asks him how he died, He said:

"I was walking home to my apartment and when I unlocked the door there was a burgular and he ran into my fridge. I threw the fridge out the window. I died of a heart attack though...

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This is kinda a long one

A dad decided to buy a lie detector and use it on his family at dinner one night. It beeps when a lie is said. The guy has a son, and a wife. “So” says the dad to the kid “what did you do at your friends house?” “Uh we went on his trampoline”. The lie detector beeped. “What did you really do?” “Fine...

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Kids are so ungrateful these days.

I got my 11 year old nephew a trampoline for his birthday, and instead of thanking me, the little cunt just sat in his wheelchair and cried.

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Me: I'm having a difficult time getting over my mother.

Therapist: I've got a trampoline.

Sweet Baby Jokes (philanthropic concept reversal)

What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
The trampoline doesn't look awfully cute in a sailor's outfit.

EDIT:
How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles on the floor?
You lovingly cradle it in your arms and sing it lullabies.

Yesterday I met my friend from Slovakia.

He had just opened up a trampoline park near the border there, yet he seemed saddened by something when I walked in. He looked up at me with tired eyes so I asked him what was wrong:

‘What’s the matter?’ I asked. ‘There are many people here, surely business is doing well?’

He replie...

A friend of mine

started a business selling trampolines to fortune-tellers.

He says prophets are going through the roof!

So I was out last night...

I was having a good time, until the bouncer came up to me and said, “Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.” I asked why and he said, “Well, I don’t know you, and this is my trampoline.”

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My little nephew is going to grow up to be such an asshole.

Check this out, it’s his birthday a couple of weeks ago, and, being that his mother (my wife’s sister) doesn’t have much money, we decide to get him a really nice gift. You know, something a 7 year old kid would be thrilled with. So we buy him a full-size trampoline. This thing is like 10 feet acros...

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Kids are really unappreciative sometimes

I got my little cousin Timmy a 1000 dollar trampoline and that little shit was still unhappy!

All he fucking did was sit in his wheelchair and cry

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Baby Jokes [NSFW] [NSFL] NOT SAFE FOR ANYONE.

What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
You take off your boots before you jump on a trampoline.

How do you make a baby spin around?
Blender.
How do you take it back out?
Nachos.

What do you call a dead baby on a wall?
Art.
What do you call a dead baby ...

I just joined the mile-high club.

Very few people are that skilled on a trampoline.

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What do you call a prostitute with one leg shorter than the other?

A Trampoline.

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