Quadriplegic Jokes - 27 Hilarious Quadriplegic Jokes

Quadriplegic jokes I've gathered from over the years.

What do you call a quadriplegic that hangs on your wall?

Art.

What do you call a quadriplegic that lays on your porch?

Matt.

What do you call a quadriplegic that is in a hole?

Doug.

What do you call a quadriplegic in a ditch?

Phil.

What do you ...

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The Quadriplegic At The Beach

An armless and legless girl is lying on the beach, crying. A man comes over and asks,

"What are you crying about?"

She goes, "I'm crying because in my whole life I've never been kissed."

So he kneels down and kisses her, but that
causes her to cry even more. He asks, "What ar...

Where can you find a quadriplegic?

Right where you left 'em

What did the blind, deaf and mute quadriplegic get for Christmas?

Cancer.

What do you call two quadriplegics that are both named Charles?

A pair of numb Chucks.

What do you call a quadriplegic who plays the piano?

A headbanger.

What do you call a quadriplegic swimmer?

Bob

So a quadriplegic amputee went...

Absolutely nowhere.

What do you call a quadriplegic laying on the floor?

Matt.

I got arrested for open carrying at a quadriplegic convention.

Honestly, it was blatant discrimination. They kept saying I was two armed.

What do you call a quadriplegic in a therapy pool?

Vegetable soup

I'm appalled that the quadriplegic society won't allow me to run in their presidential election

I won't stand for it!

What do you call a quadriplegic time traveler?

Marty Mcsit

What's black and sits in a wheelchair at the top of the stairs?

A quadriplegic after a house fire.

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A man takes a walk along an ocean pier....

Where he spots a quadriplegic woman in a wheelchair, crying. He asks her what's wrong, and she replies, "I'm 35 years old, and I've never been kissed before."

The man leans forward, and gently kisses the woman on the lips.

The woman cheers up a bit, and thoughtfully says "You know, I'...

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Frank, British war veteran and quadriplegic, was a raging alcoholic.

When he was sober, Frank was a mean bad mother fucker, that no-one dare cross.

But when Frank was legless he was 'armless.

How do you give a quadriplegic a headache?

Ask him to hold open the elevator door

How does the quadriplegic man type on his keyboard?

He holds his hands above his head.

A quadriplegic goes off to college but never graduates.

He tried and tried but just couldn't get that leg up.

So I tried Colgate for the first time.. was not impressed-

The tube said 'Guaranteed whiteness in 3 brushes". 3 brushes later, I'm still Asian.

(Speaking of still Asians, my grandma's a quadriplegic. She's a pretty still Asian)

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A man is walking down the beach when he sees a quadriplegic woman crying by herself. Trying to be kind he walks up and asks here what's wrong.

> "I've never been hugged", replies the woman.

The man figures it would be a nice thing to do, so he picks heer up and gives her a hug. She smiles. Then her face drops and she starts crying again.

> "What's the matter now?", asks the man.

> "I've never been kissed", ...

What do you call an Irishman who can't hold his liquor? [OC]

A quadriplegic.

"Hey, I'm walkin' here!"

-Quadriplegic with a sense of humor

I started a joke but I need help completing it.

Two quadriplegics walk into a bar...

Taking my dog for a walk

Taking my quadriplegic dog for a walk is a real drag.

My wife is kind of lazy

We were watching an item on the news yesterday, about a wheelchair-bound quadriplegic who could play the (specially adapted) flute beautifully.

"Oh my god." She said, tears welling in her eyes, "I'd love to be able to do that."

"What, play the flute?" I asked.

"No, sit down ...

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A bartender walks into a bar

goes behind the counter and does 12 hours of serving drinks to indifferent faces. They don't care about his life. He delays going home to his wife by flirting with a waitress, but he knows she's just being nice.

He goes home to a wife who hands him divorce papers, and his son at her side, no...

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