Two guys in a helicopter are crossing a mountain range when the rotor breaks and the chopper is going to crash.
As they are falling to their certain death, the pilot calmly reaches to his pocket and pulls out a bright red lipstick. He puts lipstick on, then tears the steering wheel out of the dashboard and shoves it up his ass. Passenger looks at the pilot in horror and shouts "what the hell are you doing, we...
Doctor to patient with gash on forehead: "What was the last thing you heard before the helicopter rotor hit you?"
"Someone shouting 'Duck, duck go!'"
I have a lot in common with my brake rotors..
We're both warped and barely functioning.
Husband: My wife is missing. She went to rescue people from the flood yesterday and has not come home ...
Sergeant at Police Station: What is her height?
Husband: Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.
Husband: Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.
Sergeant: Color of eyes?
Husband: Sort of brown I think. Never really ...
Investigator to trainee helicopter pilot: "So you survived the crash. How did it happen?" Pilot: "Flying too high. I was shivering. Too cold." "Then what?"
"Then (pointing to the rotor) I switched off the fan."
A man is driving in the the remote wilderness of central Iceland
when his car broke down. After trying in vain to restart it, he got out, opened the hood and started tinkering with the engine. He was about to give up hope when he heard a voice behind him.
"That'll be your alternator. You've got an uneven air gap between rotor and stator and it's causing it...