Punny Jokes

A string.
Yes, a string.

A string takes a seat at a bar and orders.

Bartender: you a string?

String: …yeah…

Bartender: we don’t serve strings here


Defeated, the string leaves.


Outside, he peels back some of his ends and twists the filaments ar... read more

So once Superman gets invited to a themed party over the weekend....
So Superman enters this party place and starts feeling damn weak and uneasy...
Someone is dressed as Bitcoin
Someone is dressed as Ethereum
Someone is dressed as DogeCoin
Someone is dressed as Ripple...
.
.
... read more

What do you call an underwater citrus?



Sublime.

The phone rang 'green green' and so I pink up the phone.
"Yellow? Blue is this? Can you speak louder? I can't hear you purplerly, I'll call you black later."

But carnivore think of one. r_r

What happened to the rancher who lost his cattle?

Nobody’s herd.

*I entered 10 puns in a pun contest hoping one would win, but no pun in ten did*

Lost on a rainy night, a nun stumbles across a monastery and requests shelter there. Fortunately, she's just in time for dinner and was treated to the best fish and chips she's ever had. After dinner, she goes into the kitchen to thank the chefs. She is met by two brothers, "Hello, I'm Brother Micha... read more

What is the dumbest ant?
Ignorant.

What is the bossier ant?
Tyrant.

How many insects does it take to make a landlord?
Ten ants.

What ant is the biggest?
Elephant.

What ant is a military officer?
Sergeant.

Because they often spend years at C

Went shopping for a cherry and a microphone the other day. Bought a bing, bought a boom.

How often do I tell chemistry jokes? Periodically.

Is Silicon the same in English as in Spanish? Si.

The last time I told a chemistry joke there was no reaction.

Chemistry puns Im in my element.

What do you do with a dead chemist?
Barium

Ion-estly cant think of... read more

Timmy : I'm Hungary,.
Mum : Why don't you Czech the fridge.
Timmy : Ok, I'm Russian to the kitchen.
Mum : Hmm...maybe you'll find some Turkey.
Timmy : Yeah, but its all covered in Greece. Yuck !
Mum : There is Norway you can eat that.
Timmy : I know, I guess I'll just have a ca... read more

What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?


Outlaws are wanted.

A play on words.

but it was impastable

Janice and Jamie were on the last day of their vacation, and they had spent the whole day on the beach. When the girls were ready to leave Jamie turned towards the ocean and said, "Good bye ocean!" Janice immediately replied with "look it's *waving* at you!"

Because you can't end on a prep position.

Sorry, the joke's way to punny. It's just 3 stars.

I'm on a road trip with a co-worker who hates corny, punny, cheesy and one liner type jokes. I love telling him those sorts of jokes trying to get him to laugh.

I had an idea. If you fine people hit me with some of your favorites, I'll spend the next two days telling him jokes and tell you wh... read more

Because Sheeran away.

(Saw this somewhere, and am gingerly sharing this punny piece)

Cat-has-trophy. Such punny. Much Cringe.

I'd set up a server and tested everything internally. I was able to visit pages on the apache server, and make calls to the tomcat rest api servlet just fine.

However, when I tried external tests nothing worked. I checked, rechecked and verified the firewall was allowing the correct ports t... read more