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Khan Jokes

Genghis Khan

If Genghis Khan got a divorce, could he be considered songle and ready to Mongol?

Why did Genghis Khan conquer so much?

Because he was Genghis Khan, not Genghis Khannot.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Genghis Khan and his soldiers attacked a tiny village of their enemy country and took all the men and women as prisoners..

Later in the evening,after being intoxicated,the sadistic Genghis decides to play a game..

He asks all the men from the village to stand in a line and strip down their pants..

He then instructed one of the wives of the men to be blindfolded and she should recognize her husband after ex...

What's the difference between Julius Caesar and Genghis Khan?

Caesar: "I came, I saw, I conquered."

Khan: "I conquered, I saw, I came."

What did the Chinese say to Genghis Khan before he launched his invasion?

"What are you doing, steppe bro!?"

One day an old Ukrainian man found an antique lamp

He starts it to polish it off and 'Poof', a genie appears in a cloud of smoke.

"Hoho, Mortal!" says the genie, stretching and yawning, "For releasing me I will grant you three wishes."

The old man thinks for a moment, and says, "I want Genghis Khan resurrected. I want him to re-...

I went to a museum and saw a statue of Genghis Khan holding a spear.

I came back the following week and I saw the same statue, but the spear had gone.

I thought maybe someone had gotten hurt on it and the spear was taken down, but honestly I don't know.

It's just one of my wild Khan's-spear-I-see theories.

Why did Genghis Khan have such the great legs?

He always completed his steppe goal

Why didn't Genghis Khan's army move when he said "Charge"?

Because none of them understand English.

What do you call a feud between two of Genghis Khan’s generals?

Mongolian beef

What do you call a fake Mongolian?

A Khan artist!

Apparently, all the tents from the Game of Thrones sets are being redecorated for use in a new mini-series on Genghis Khan.

I am not sure why anyone is surprised about the recycled Khan tent.

Genghis Khan stumbles across a great palace in Northern China

It was a magnificent golden palace, with beautiful ornaments covering every surface as it towered over the surrounding landscape with its size. The steps leading up to the front entrance were crafted from the finest marble, the pillars holding up the ceiling sculpted with the rarest jade. It was tru...

Genghis Khan was vicious from an early age.

I remember when he took his first steppe.

Former Pakistan PM and cricket legend Imran Khan survived an assassination attempt. Doctors said he has a leg bullet wound.

I guess he is Out, LBW.

Did you know there are tents surviving that Genghis Khan used to sleep in? I just scored one on eBay!

Thought you would appreciate my original Kahn tent.

How did Genghis Khan conquer Mongolia?

One steppe at a time.

If Pakistan PM Imran Khan could resolve Kashmir issue with dialogue,

he wouldn't have married three times.

What was Genghis Khan’s failure of a brother named?

Genghis Khan’t

If I was Genghis Khan's personal advisor

Every time he had a moment of self doubt, I'd remind him he is Genghis Khan, not Genghis Khan't.

What did Genghis Khan's mother tell him after he destroyed Xi Xia?

Just because you Genghis Khan, doesn't mean you Genghis should.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What was wrong with Genghis Khan's new suit?

There was a chink in his armor.

I’m considering taking a position translating old Mongolian poetry.

The jobs has its prose and Khans.

Happy cake day to me!

As a lover of history, I always wondered how Genghis Khan would seek shelter whilst traversing various regions of the vast Mongol empire

Then it struck me. Finally! A regional Khan tent.

A man in Kyiv finds a lamp...

So, a gentleman in Kyiv found an old lamp. It had some tarnish on it, so after grabbing the brass polish and a rag, he started to polish it.


POOF! Out popped a genie!


"Master, you have freed me from the lamp! In gratitude, I shall grant you three wishes! (And no wishing for...

Have you heard about the new Star Trek Christmas movie?

It’s The Wreath of Khan

I wrote down what I thought about mongolian poetry

It has its prose and its Khans

MrBeast sure is good at planting seeds

Last time I saw someone spread their seed that successfully was when Ghengis Khan was around.

Genghis Khan once had the hands of an entire village of superb bowmen maimed so their skills could never be used against him. Similarly, he crippled a conquered town of excellent sprinters

For the town, it was a crushing de feet

What do you call a Mongol leader who swindles people out of their hard earned cash?

Ghengis Khan Man.

Most Star Trek fans aren't big into poetry, so I knew that writing and publishing a book of Trek-themed poems would be risky but rewarding.

The project had its prose and Khans.

What was life like in the Mongol Empire?

It had its pros and khans.

Credit to u/Draiu

John got a job at the local prison. On his first day, he saw a large, muscular man cranking a shaft inside of his cell. He turned to one of his fellow guards and asked, “Who’s that guy?”, referring to the man cranking the shaft.

“That’s Khan Drea. He’s in here for life, but the warden decided...

My brother just started taking a Klingon literature course

He says it has its prose and Khans

The swindler was headed upstairs to visit his friend, the forger...

The swindler was headed upstairs to visit his friend, the forger. The bird he passed along the way was the forger's homing vulture, which was en route to the forger's publisher to make a delivery. Unfortunately, the poor bird had to fly down the stairwell to ground level and out the open terrace sin...

Who was the smartest conqueror of all time?

Genius Khan

Can a tiger find the man cub?

Shere Khan

Trump to bartender: We are going to nuke Pakistan & kill Mia Khalifa

Bartender: why mia khalifa?

Trump to Imaran Khan: see nobody cares about Pakistan!

Can you name the villain from The Jungle Book?

...because I Shere Khan!

Ricardo Montalban struggled to find acting roles after "Star Trek 2."

Nobody wanted to hire an ex-Khan.

What's sick, Irish, and hates Captain Kirk?

A leper Khan.

A man has a booth at a fair with a talking cat...

A woman walks up and asks, "Can your cat really talk?"

The man turns to the cat and asks, "Which leader is attributed to the most deaths in human history?"

The cat says, "Mao."

The woman, who is annoyed by this ruse, walks away.

The cat turns to the man and asks, "Should...

How do you call an australian who is a spiritual leader and a ruler in mongolia ?

A Khan Guru

Who was the leader of the Mushroom army?

Fungus Khan!!!

Whaddya use to decide whether to host a Star Trek poetry event?

A list of prose in Khans.

A Star Trek forum exists where Trekkies can debate additions to the universe's lore.

It's called Prose and Khans.

What's it called when a criminal from Mongolia is walking down the stairs while making fun of you?

Condescending Khan-descending con descending

Want my opinion on Mongolia?

It has it's pros and Khans

What do you call an snobbish Mongolian ruler going down the stairs?

A condescending Khan descending.

A Polish guy finds a lamp buried in the sand

As per usual, a genie comes out and offers him three wishes.

The Polish guy things for a moment and says, "I wish for all of Ghengis Khan's armies to go rampaging across the steppes to the border of Poland, then turn around and go home."

"All right," the genie says, "Done. What's your ...

What did the Mongols put on their Hamburgers?

Khan-diments.

What do you call a Mongol holding a Transformer?

A Decepti-Khan

What was the name of the Mongolian warlord's favorite cow?

Angus Khan

Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one, Michael J. Fox has a small one,

Madonna doesn't have one, The Pope has one but doesn't use it, Dominique Strauss-Khan uses his all the time. What is it?

A last name you pervert.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Pathan's Interview

A Pathan being interviewed at U.S. Embasy:

CONSULATE: Your name please?
Pathan: Gul khan.
CONSL: Sex?
Pathan: Ten to twelve times a week.
CONSL: I mean male or female?
Pathan: Both male/female & sometimes Camels too.
CONSUL: You seem Ugly !
Pathan: yes Ugly & Pich...

If The Jungle Book were written by George R.R. Martin...

Bagheera would have died saving Mowgli from the snake, Kaa. Mowgli would have fallen while fetching honey for Baloo and become paralyzed. Kaa would have been beheaded by a bitter rival from House Anaconda. Raksha, sending her cubs to seek refuge in the jungle, dies at the hands (paws) of Shere Khan....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Joel Osteen dies and goes to Heaven.

He looks up at the big pearly gates and immediately recognizes where he is. He waits for a while but no one comes to greet him. Beyond the gates, he hears a band performing a concert between deafening cheers of the crowd and other indications of general merriment. He looks around but cannot find ...

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