Warren Gatland and Eddie Jones are both killed when a lightning bolt hits the Millennium Stadium.

In heaven, they are greeted by God and Eddie is taken to his new home, a lovely English country cottage with statues of English rugby greats and angels singing Jerusalem and Swing Low, Sweet Chariot.

He was delighted until he suddenly heard some even more beautiful singing coming from the top...

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3 men survive a plane crash in the jungle.

Paddy, an Irishman, Jock, a Scotsman, and Edward, an Englishman.
The three men band together and set off in search of civilisation. After many hours trekking through the jungle the men come across 3 rotting dead birds.
“I’m not eating that!” Says a disgusted Edward.
“Aye it’s covered in ...

What do John Edward and Stevie Wonder have in common?

They've both made a lot of money from Superstition

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Robin Hood goes out on another mission

Same old same old, steal from the rich, give to the poor.

On this particular run he decides to go to a new town and find the wealthiest man to rob.

Being that he didn’t know anybody, he asked a bum he met on the road who the richest man in town was.

After learning this, Robin Ho...

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Masturbation hurts.

Signed, Edward Scissorhands

Tim and Edward decided to team up in an attempt to steal an expensive jewel.

It belonged to a woman in their neighborhood. Her house was fairly isolated so they decided they could proceed during the day. The woman seemed a bit careless and had no security system set up, so they easily got in and out of the house with the jewel.

Back to a safe place and out of view o...

What do you call a man with a plank of wood on his head?

Edward

What do you call a man with 2 planks of wood on his head?
Edward Wood

What do you call a man with 3 planks of wood on his head?
Edward Woodward

What do you call a man with 4 planks of wood on his head?
I don't know but Edward Woodward would

Why was Edward stuck in Russia?

Because he got Snowden!

Why did Edward Woodward have so many d's in his name?

Because without them he would've been called Ewar Woowar.

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What does Edward Penis-hand fears the most?

An itching butt.

What do you get when you combine silver, a personal pronoun, a tattoo, and the short form of Edward?

What do you get when you combine silver, a personal pronoun, a tattoo, and the short form of Edward?

Ag I tat Ed.

I'm veeeerrrryyyyy agitated.

The world was calmly doing their business when a new toy was released.

It was a battery-powered robot named Mister Edward that took the world by storm. Mister Edward toys were even connected to the internet. Eventually a virus started to spread which caused all the Mister Edward toys to attempt to destroy all of humanity. They eventually started succeeding, and the pop...

Edward the baker, who died in his sleep, passed on his business to his son.

It was said that Ed, dead in his bed, led to Ted being head of the bread.

This week a John Edwards of Des Moines Iowa passed away at the age of 102.

Mr. Edwards was recently asked in an interview what he attributed to his long life and he replied:

"Well every morning I have a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast and before I eat it I sprinkle a little gunpowder on it. I believe the gunpowder keeps me young and vibrant."

Edwards leaves b...

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I hated Sex Ed at school

Or 'Sexy Edward', to give him his full name.

True story

My fathers name is Edward, Ed for short, and my mother’s name is Alice. The joke was “if you have a problem with Ed, see Alice.”

Where's the best place for Edward Snowden to hide?

Wallstreet. No one there ever seems to get prosecuted.

Proper Etiquettes

During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question:

"Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?

Michael said, "Just a minute I have to g...

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Good ol’ Edward

A young man called Edward wanted to buy a Birthday present for his new girlfriend. They had only just started going out with each other and she lived a considerable distance away.

Edward consulted his sister and decided, after careful consideration, that a pair of good quality gloves would st...

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ROYAL WEDDING

On the day of the Royal Wedding, Sofia was getting dressed, surrounded by all her family, and she suddenly realized she had forgotten to get any shoes.

Then her sister remembered that she had a pair of white shoes from her wedding so she lent them to Sofia for the day. Unfortunately, ...

Last summer I met with a botanist friend of mine...

Last summer I met with a botanist friend of mine who was keen to show me his private collection of rare tree and plant species. I wasn’t particularly interested but I went along anyway because he was really excited to show me the newest addition to his collection.
“It’s a unique species of oak...

Not to spoil the Eclipse for anyone tomorrow but...

Bella chooses Edward.

I'd love to you a joke about Edward Elric...

but it will cost an arm and a leg.

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TIL that the Black Prince, Edward of Woodstock, died of dysentery.

That's a shitty way to die.

Edward G Robinsons father became a woman, and his mother became a man. He has been very open discussing this.

He has trans parents, see

What did Edward Snowden say when he bumped into Barack Obama?

Pardon me

An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution

His last minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he was feeling worn out and depressed.

As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife started on him about, 'What time of night to be getting home is this? Where have you been? Dinner is cold and I'm not reheating it'...

What do you call a government official that can't leave an airport because of a blizzard?

Edward Snowed In

I legally changed my name to Edward Genocide...

...you can call me Ed G.

The bad weather kept my friend Edward from going to work today

He's Snowden

How many Edward Snowden's does it take to know what is going on in a Clinton administration?

**The server you are attempting to connect to has been unintentionally disabled, wiped, and burned. But not in a gross negligent manner. **

Those childhood days(real incident)

I am sharing my childhood event and this makes me laughs hilariously


Teacher (on phone): You say Edward has a cold and can’t come to school today? To whom am I speaking?
Voice: This is my father.

What do you call...

...a man in a bush?

Russel!

...a man in a lake?

Bob!

...a man with a car on his head?

Jack!

...a man with a spade in his head?

Doug!

...a man without a spade in his head?

Douglas!

...a man with a toilet on his head?

Lou!...

Old School Pirate Crime

Captain Normal Beard the up-and-coming pirate captain and his first mate Clumsy Edward were in desperate need of ink in order to make the numerous treasure maps they were sure create during all of their treasure-filled journeys. More than anything they needed red ink for the illustrious X's that wil...

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