How scared were the french royalty during the French Revolution?

Very, they completely lost their heads..

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A Harvard English 101 class was asked to write a CONCISE essay containing four elements: religion, royalty, sex and mystery.

The only "A+" in the class read:

"My God," said the Queen, "I'm pregnant. I wonder who did it?"

A Saudi Prince wants to buy a bull, so he goes to see a famous Russian bovine breeder.

The Russian tells him, "I have many good animal. Here is Swedish bull, is born black color, but color turns white when grows."

"Over there is American bull. Color when born is red, but become dark brown when full grown."

"And here, Turkish bull. They is born dark brown, but grow up to ...

Trump stated that all Americans will live like royalty by the end of his term

More than 2 million people have been coronated already.

What type of music can the Royal Family not listen to?

Royalty Free Music

Why did Egyptian royalty have an easy time getting married?

They had great Pharaoh-mones

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On his recent visit to England Trump is very taken with all the pomp and regalia of royalty...

So while having dinner seated next to the Queen he announces boldly that from here on in he would like the USA to be referred to as the "United Kingdom of America!"
The Queen shakes her head and says somewhat admonishingly, "My dear Donald you can't do that - you are not a King".
A bit defe...

Typical

An engineer is having is lunch. It is a beautiful day so he takes his brown bag lunch outside to the fountain beside the office.

He sits on the edge and is about to tuck into his sandwich when a frog hops out of the fountain and says to him "Hello! Thank goodness you're here. I am a beauti...

What’s the odd one out?

A. Flour
B. Yeast
C. Royalty
D. Meat

D. Meat because it’s usually not “in bread.”

The Queen created a beautiful design that I decided to put on a shirt

One day, the Queen of The United Kingdoms designed a beautiful new crest for the royal family and seeing it, I saw an opportunity for profit and began selling t-shirts with the design printed on them thinking that the royal family wouldn't mind.

After several very angry calls from the royal f...

Where does royalty prefer to sleep?

In bread

I believe that the ultra rich deserve to be treated like royalty

Louis XVI, specifically

TIL children of royalty had to stay a certain distance away from they parents in early England...

It was known as restricted heirspace.

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Why do kings always scream when they cum?

Because it's customary to announce when royalty arrives.

What do you get when you cross slow dancing with Arabic royalty?

Dancing Sheikh to Sheikh.

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the dutchess invited the whole royalty for tea at the palace.

When everyone got there, the duchess suggested to play "Solve the riddle", a game at which, she claimed, she was very good at.

Before starting, the duchess looked outside the window and saw her daughter riding her favourite mare

"I've got one", she said. "It's big and shaky, and girls ...

What do you call the greatest royalty of Vietnamese noodle soup?

The best PhoKing you'll ever know

What do you get when you cross a sheep stealer with royalty?

Mutton Looter King

I learned that 17th century French royalty depleted their treasury...

I guess you could say they were baroque.

What's the russian royalty's favorite type of fish?

Czar-dines!

Many years ago, there was a sculptor.

He was a true master at his craft, and he worked hard every day to provide the finest replicas, busts, and statues to the rich and noble. He was held in very high regard, and his name spread across land and oceans and many sought to acquire one of his rare sculptures.

However, even with the ...

Software development cycle.

1. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.

2. Product is tested. 20 bugs are found.

3. Programmer fixes 10 of the bugs and explains to the testing department that the other 10 aren't really bugs.

4. Testing department finds that five of the fixes didn't work and discov...

Once upon a time, there was a trainee fortune teller...

Once upon a time, there was a trainee fortune teller called Sarah who hoped to learn the proper skills of divination by training alongside a renowned fortune teller, Madame Lointain (for, in these times, it was customary for each village to have a fortune teller).


After having studied for...

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Trump meets the Queen

So Donald asks the Queen how you get to be king or a duke or other Royalty.

Queen:’ Look Donald, an Emperor rules an Empire, a king rules a kingdom, a prince ruled a principality, a duke rules a duchy and so on’
Donald:’ I rule the USA, what does that make me’
Queen:”that’s a country,...

If Prince is dead then...

Is his music now "royalty-free"?

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The Royal we.

Queen Elizabeth and princess Kate are out motoring through the hillside when the Bentley they're driving breaks down. The driver has to go look for help, and while he's gone some ruffians come across the disabled royalty.
"Ain't you the queen?"
She confirms she is.
"Where's your tiara?"...

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When Solomon the Wise received the Queen of Sheba at his palace, he needed grand new thrones for him and for her.

So by the power of the Seal of Solomon he summoned *djinn* and he said to them: Craft me a pair of thrones that shall be the wonder of all the ages, exquisite in both materials and workmanship and of a value surpassing all the treasures of the earth. And the *djinn*, bound under the Seal, bowed low ...

My buddy needed some help redoing some posts for his fence

so I recommended r/jokes they're reposting kings.

What’s an image editor’s favourite country?

Ireland.

It’s royalty free.

Why is it legal to download America?

Because it's royalty free.

Stay humble my friend

There once was a man who that grew up humbly, on an island. As he aged, he remained in the same grass hut he built in his youth. He expanded his home through the years, but lived humbly. He only had one vice. He liked purchasing items that belonged to royalty, in particular, thrones. He purchase...

The Pope is finishing a trip to USA in LA

As he finishes his last speaking engagement he is picked up by a limo, and climbs into the backseat ready for the journey to the airport.
While sitting in the back of the limo he starts thinking this is a pretty beautiful car, and it's been a long time since I have driven, so he winds down the p...

Important copyright notice

Remember, if you sing "Happy Birthday" to the Queen, it is still *not* royalty-free.

Is this InkJet any good?

Sure, we've sold it to royalty


Princesses?


Mate, it prints ALL the letters!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Les Mis Joke (from r/Lesmiserables Joke by u/shepy66

Ok, so there were these two guys at a high school, a really weird, lame, goth kid from France, and a really popular rich kid named John. Nobody actually new the French kid's name, but he was strange enough for people to make up their own. Creep, Emo, Lame-ass, Weirdo, and plenty of other (and much w...

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