As he pushed in the rectal thermometer, I felt myself getting a painfully hard and obvious erection

"Maybe you should wait outside while I examine your dog," the vet said

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I zipped up my jeans and got my penis caught in the zipper. I painfully shouted out.....

"Username checks out"

< Healing >



A guy in a wheelchair entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked
the waitress for a cup of coffee. The guy looked across the
restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus sitting over there?" The waitress
nodded "yes," so the guy requested that she give Jesus a cup of
coffee...

Painfully bad joke my younger brother told me.

What do you call an expert on marine life? An aFISHionado.

A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlour and pulled himself cautiously, painfully, up onto a stool... After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?"

"No," he replied, "Arthritis."

What kind of tea is painfully hard to swallow?

Reality.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 biologists are exploring an uncharted jungle...

... when suddenly they are seized by natives.

The natives tie them up and take the 3 men to the village where they are placed before the chieftain.

The chieftain says, “You have trespassed on our sacred land, and so, you must be punished. You have one chance to save yourselves from de...

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