The surgeon's first circumcision was tricky.

Eventually, the surgeon managed to pull it off.

A man is up in court

A man is up in court on a tricky litigation case, and his lawyer has warned him that the judge is very strict and correct. “He won’t stand for any nonsense and he knows all the tricks!”

“Well, would it help if I sent him a brace of grouse and a bottle of whisky?”

“Absolutely not!” says...

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One day a man and woman were in their bedroom making love.

All of a sudden a bumble bee entered the bedroom window. As the lady parted her legs, the bee entered her vagina. The woman started screaming, "Oh my god, help me, there's a bee in my vagina!" The husband immediately took her to the local doctor and explained the situation. The doctor thought for a ...

I taught English in Germany.

The first day I taught them everything beginning with A.

The second day I taught them everything beginning with B.

D Day was a bit tricky.

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Why is it so tricky to write a joke about bioluminescent ejaculate?

You can see the punchline 'cumming' from a mile away

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Two Blondes doing a crossword.

First Blonde: I got a real tricky question here.

Second Blonde: What's the clue.?

First Blonde: Someone who delivers the mail.

Second Blonde: How many letters.?

First Blonde: Fucking hundreds.

What do you name a tricky pig?

Cunningham

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My grandma told me this joke.

An older gentlemen with some money in his pocket was heading down an old country dirt road with peddlers and wares dealers every few miles.

He runs across a man with several of the biggest roosters he's ever seen, at a price even better. He has to have one, so he says "Sir! Sir! I must have o...

I once made a car from wood.

The chassis was made from wood.
I made the wheels from wood.
The doors and hinges, all wooden.
The engine was tricky to make, but all made from wood, right down to the ebony piston rings.

It's was beautiful peice of craftsmanship, the only problem with it was that...

It woode...

Respectfully cheating

Jack and Betty are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary.
"Betty, I was wondering -- have you ever cheated on me?"

"Oh Jack, why would you ask such a question now? You don't want to ask that question..."

"Yes, Betty, I really want to know. Please."

"Well, all right. ...

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Little Johnny was in school one day and his teacher was doing a vocabulary exercise.

She asked the class "Okay, can anyone give me a sentence using the word dog?" well little Johnny's hand bolts straight up in the air and she knows he has something dirty to say. she decides to call on another student who also has his hand raised. "My dog sleeps in my bed!"

"good job!" says t...

If it walks like a duck, if it quacks like a duck...

It's probably just my dad getting out that tricky fart.

My wife and I have recently moved into my Mother-In-Laws while our house is being renovated...

Being intimate is pretty tricky!

I constantly have to remind her that my Wife is sitting downstairs...

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Mafia man

Gino and Maria were celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. Gino was a very successful mafia man and was very wealthy and influential. Gino wanted to give something special to his wife for the anniversary.

Gino says to Maria “Maria, I am very successful and wealthy, and to thank you for a...

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Rectum Stretcher

I was on my way to work a few months ago and I'm going under an overpass. A cop pulls out, flips on the siren and sex lights, so we pull over. He sidles up to my window and asks, "Do you know how fast you were going?"

"35?" I ask, knowing it's a 35 mph zone.

"Radar has you going 37," h...

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A building supplies company placed an ad for an experienced warehouse person for their warehouse operation...

Bright (not that he could see it) and early the next morning in walks a guy wearing dark glasses and using a white cane.

"I've come about the timber sorting position", he tells the lady at reception.

A bit taken aback, she goes to get her husband, the boss.

He takes one look at...

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A kindergarten teacher was playing a game with her class

The game involved little hard candies, handing one of each flavor to every student. She told her students to eat the red ones first, then guess what it tastes like. They all ate the red one and after a few minutes they guessed it tasted like Strawberries, they were correct. Next the teacher had them...

Did anyone else's parents teach them to swim by throwing them in the lake? I think the swimming was the easy part.

Getting out of that burlap sack was tricky, though.

Red Car Day

Red car day - in Honor of my Dad

My dad died 7 years ago. He was a worker in a factory in NYC during the by-gone, post-war era when times were good and jobs were plenty. The guys he worked with were all good friends over the years and enjoyed harmless pranks against one another to pass the ti...

My motto in life is to always give 100%

It does make blood donation quite tricky.

2 men are talking about going to the pub.

- I am telling you, this is the best place in town.

- Okay, how long to go there and back?

- 60 minutes.

- Is it that far?

-No, it's 10 minutes away, only coming back is the tricky part.

Tesla have announced they are going to build the worlds biggest battery.

Yet it still won't last a day on an iPhone

OLD AGE AND TREACHERY WILL OVERCOME YOUTH AND SKILL EVERY TIME!

A father, son and grandson went to the country club for their weekly round of golf. Just as they reached the first tee, a beautiful young blond woman carrying her bag of clubs approached them.

She explained that the member who brought her to the club for a round of golf had an emergency that ...

There is a man sitting at the end of the bar with an orange for a head

There is a man sitting at the end of the bar with an orange for a head. Another man, who is new in town walks in and sits down at the other end. After a few minutes he asks the bartender, “Who is that strange man with an orange for a head?”

To which she replies, “I’m not sure but he refuses t...

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just two. The tricky part's getting them inside.

The kingdom of the ogre.

Once upon a time, an evil ogre ruled over the land of the Trids. Most of the time he left his subjects alone, and even managed the kingdom quite well, and times were prosperous. But once a week, he would come down from his hilltop castle and spend an hour *kicking* every Trid he saw. Doesn’t matt...

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Golf in Japan

An American golfer went to Japan for a tournament. The night before he met a woman, and although neither spoke a word of the other’s language, he managed to get the point across. They got into bed and when he stuck it in her she yelled something in Japanese which he took to me she was in ecstasy. ...

Two boys were out walking in the woods...

When they came across a large hole in ground. Boys being boys, it didn't take long before they began tossing objects in to see how deep the hole was.

As it often happens, the objects they threw in got larger and larger. At last, the boys grabbed a large log and tossed it in the hole. All of ...

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A physicist recently won a Nobel Prize...

Over the course of the next few weeks he is welcomed to many ceremonies and events as a guest speaker.

On the way to the next event at Caltech University, he rehearses his speech again. During a pause, his driver says "You know I've heard your speech so many times I pretty much can recite it...

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Golfing Jesus

Jesus and two others are out playing 18 when they come up on a par three with a particularly tricky water hazard. The first gent tees off and not surprisingly he hits into the water, forcing a drop.

Jesus steps up to the tee with his usual swagger and addresses the ball. His robes move as flu...

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"Heaven is getting too crowded"

St. Peter tells 3 men who died near the same time, "So we can only let in one of you. Each of you will tell me how you died, and whoever died in the worst way gets in." * The first guy enters St. Peters office and begins his story. "There I was painting the balcony of my 14th story apartment, I l...

The King and the Thrones

Once there was a king- his kingdom was made up of houses made from the hay, mud and reinforced by waterproof grass fronds from the riverbanks. The king, naturally, had the biggest house, his being the only one in the kingdom to have two floors; a tricky bit of engineering for an all natural structur...

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Wife and technical support

Dear technical support.

Last year I upgraded my Boyfriend 5.0 program in to the version Husband 1.0 and I noticed that the new program has unexpected changes in its processing modules. The program limited the access to Flowers and Jewelry applications which worked perfectly under the version...

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So the other day I was walking from the sports field with a bag of 100 tennis balls...

That's a big bag, but I managed to carry it. However, unbeknownst to me, it was dragging over the ground, and eventually caught on a sharp piece of kerb, and ripped open. All 100 tennis balls falling out, ending up everywhere. Really annoying. I had to get all of them back individually and only retr...

So Jan gets a job driving a school bus.

The first day of school, Jan is given the bus she's to drive. She's driving an elementary-school route, so the inside of the bus has been decked out with Sesame Street characters; muppets pasted on every wall. Jan shrugs and gets started on her route.

The first kid is a super fat little girl...

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The Silent Knight

So everybody know about King Arthur and the knights of the round table, but not everybody has heard about the Silent Knight of the round table. Here is a tale to tell:

A couple years after the round table was established the King went on another campaign. But there is a problem: he has a be...

A penguin takes his car to a mechanic because there is a funny noise coming from under the hood.

“Leave it with me,” says the mechanic. “Come back in 20 minutes.”
So, off goes the penguin. It’s a pretty hot day and he’s a cool weather kind of guy so on spotting an
ice cream van he goes and buys himself a 99. Now, penguins aren’t very good at eating ice creams—
the lack of opposable thu...

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Honey.

A kindergarten class is learning about colours through the taste of various flavours of candy. The teacher tells all of the students to close their eyes as she places the first flavour in each one of their hands. After everyone has one, she permits them to taste it and gives them hints as to what th...

The blonde convention

All of the blondes in the world decided that they were tired of always being stereotyped as stupid. They wanted to prove to the world that they were just as smart as anyone else. In order to do this, they decided to hold a huge convention and televise it in order to prove their intelligence. As part...

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