Depressing Jokes - 22 Hilarious Depressing Jokes

Depressing pickup lines.

Are you suicide?
Because I think about you every day.

Are you a toaster?
Because I really want to take a bath with you.

Are you a noose?
Because I really want to hang with you.

Are you a gravestone?
Because I really wish you were on top of me.

Are you anti-...

What do you call your co-workers in a boring and depressing workplace?

Melancolleague(s)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Got a job working with a bunch of Emo kids. It's depressing, they're always going on about dying, they look terrible with their white skin, and complain about how shit their life is.

Sorry not Emo kids......Chemo kids..

I starting wearing depressing outfits

It saves time on laundry, since a lot of the time they hang themselves.

what's the most depressing place to live in America?

Missouri

Q. Why were photographs so depressing before digital cameras were invented?

A. Because they spent too much time processing the negatives.

What do you call a depressing tale about a discontinued car?

A Saab Story.

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Two old jews are sitting in a park and reading newspaper

One of them notices that the other's paper is from a really antisemite organization and basically a pure antisemitic propaganda

"What the hell are you reading? Why don't you read our jewish papers?"

"You see Chaim" the other man says calmly "When I read our newspapers all I see are pog...

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The color palette of most public restrooms in public beaches and forests is on the depressing earth-tones and brown side…

…I mean, shit.

It's depressing to hear that a child can drown in just 2 inches of water.

I mean it's 2019. Why aren't we using metric yet?

What's big, Scottish, and depressing?

Scotland.

Wanna hear something depressing?

A pull.

Think Thursday is depressing? Wait two days

It’ll be sadder day then

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I just got done watching a show with unlikable characters, bullshit plot developments, and a depressing ending.

It's called "The News."

The depressing thing about playing tennis is.....

No matter how much you practice, you'll never be as good as a wall.

Why is North Korea so depressing?

Because it ain't got no Seoul.

Everything is depressing, so you turns to making bread.

A friend came around and sees what you’re doing.
“Hey, nice bread”
You smiles feeling better.
“Thanks, I kneaded that”

I used to find window shopping depressing.....

then I visited Amsterdam.

Studying waveforms as a dyslexic can be depressing.

When I can't calculat lambda, I just feel sinusoidal.

Being married to a photographer is depressing...

...they're always looking at the negatives.

I went to a really depressing wedding recently.

Even the cake was in tiers.

The Front page of Reddit is being really depressing lately...

Then I realized I was actually on /r/worldnews

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