Depressing pickup lines.

Are you suicide?
Because I think about you every day.

Are you a toaster?
Because I really want to take a bath with you.

Are you a noose?
Because I really want to hang with you.

Are you a gravestone?
Because I really wish you were on top of me.

Are you anti-...

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If you think Thursday are depressing, wait two days

Then it would be a sadder day (Saturday)

Why is North Korea so depressing?

They have no Seoul

I starting wearing depressing outfits

It saves time on laundry, since a lot of the time they hang themselves.

Everything is depressing, so you turns to making bread.

A friend came around and sees what you’re doing.
“Hey, nice bread”
You smiles feeling better.
“Thanks, I kneaded that”

It's depressing to hear that a child can drown in just 2 inches of water.

I mean it's 2019. Why aren't we using metric yet?

The depressing thing about playing tennis is.....

No matter how much you practice, you'll never be as good as a wall.

Wanna hear something depressing?

A pull.

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Got a job working with a bunch of Emo kids. It's depressing, they're always going on about dying, they look terrible with their white skin, and complain about how shit their life is.

Sorry not Emo kids......Chemo kids..

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An elderly Jewish man is sitting on a park bench reading the Tehran Times

A friend sees him and says, "Oy, Moishe! How can you read that rag? Don't you know the things they say about us?"

To which the man replies, "Well, I used to read to read the Jewish papers, but they're so depressing. Every headline is 'Jews Being Persecuted!' 'Jews Living in Poverty!' 'Jews Be...

Studying waveforms as a dyslexic can be depressing.

When I can't calculat lambda, I just feel sinusoidal.

I told my girl I love you.

She said I love U2. That was kind of depressing. She's talking about music at this vulnerable moment. So I broke up with her.

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I know a mortician....

He says it is depressing but the sex is great!

I walked into an old defunct Nike store today. The place was depressing because-

there wasn't a sole in sight.

What's the difference between a street cat and a philosophy graduate?

One is sad to look at because it's depressing. The other is a cat.

What's big, Scottish, and depressing?

Scotland.

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Two old jews are sitting in a park and reading newspaper

One of them notices that the other's paper is from a really antisemite organization and basically a pure antisemitic propaganda

"What the hell are you reading? Why don't you read our jewish papers?"

"You see Chaim" the other man says calmly "When I read our newspapers all I see are pog...

I went to a really depressing wedding recently.

Even the cake was in tiers.

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