Pong Jokes - 37 Hilarious Pong Jokes

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Pink ping pong balls

Once upon a time there was a father and a son. It was the son’s tenth birthday and his father said,

“Son, you are the most precious thing in the world to me. Whatever you ask for your birthday, you shall receive.”

His son replied,

“Dad, all I want for my birthday is a pink ping ...

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The science of ping pong balls...

Long, Science

A science convention is in town. So a chemist, physicist and engineer walk into a local bar. The bar tender sees them and says, "hey, you're all wise guys, how would I figure out the volume of this ping pong ball?" The chemist takes the ball from him, pulls out a graduated cylin...

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I got in trouble for telling this joke in 5th grade on share a joke day.

Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess with three handsome suitors.

Each suitor tried their best to charm the princess, but the princess could not choose which handsome suitor to marry.

The princess did love ping pong though, and so she decided to test the suitors' love.
...

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Green ping pong ball.

These was once a girl, Sara, whos third birthday was coming up, and as this was the first time she was old enough to really understand what was happening, her parents asked her what she wanted.
"I want a green ping pong ball!" Sara answered immediately and without a hint of uncertainty. The par...

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Ping Pong Balls

Four friends are driving down the road when suddenly they see this beautiful girl out in the middle of a cornfield.

They approach the girl in their truck and decide to get out. They start flirting with the girl, talking over each other so they can win her over when suddenly an old beat down ...

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Green, pink and purple polka-dot ping pong balls

So, a few years ago, I met the owner of a multimillion dollar company, and he decided to tell me a very strange story.

The man told me that he had a son, for whom he cared about deeply, so much so that for his 15th birthday, he offered him anything he wanted in the world.

In response, ...

What do you call a granny who is good at coding and beer pong?

A Brogramma

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Sex is like ping pong

A never ending push and pull until one partner loses the ball

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Ping pong balls

Many years back there was a king who had the most beautiful daughter in all the lands. The king issues a challenge. "The first knight who can find the most ping pong balls gets to marry my daughter".

The first knight returns with 300 ping pong balls. Two days later, the second knight comes ...

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Pink Ping Pong Ball

A little boy named Marty was born one day to a wealthy family. On Marty's second birthday, his mom asked Marty what he wanted for his birthday. Marty said, "I want a pink ping pong ball!" Mom was confused why Marty wanted pink ping pong balls but agreed to buy them for her son's sake.

Fast f...

I was playing ping pong with Jesus

Me: Ok that's 3-2 me, and it's my serve now

Jesus: ...

Me: Jesus give me the ball

Jesus: The son of Man came not to be served but to serve

If King Kong went to Hong Kong to play ping-pong and died, what would they put on his coffin?

A lid.

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I lost pretty badly at beer pong to a chick with a bad boob job.

She really wanted a re-rack.

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A little boy wished for 10 ping-pong balls for his 10th birthday.

A little boy wished for 10 ping-pong balls for his 10th birthday.
When he turned 11 he wished for 11 ping-pong balls. This continued every year.

They boy grew up to a man. When he turned 18, he wished for 18 ping-pong balls and when he turned 25 he wished for 25 ping-pong balls.

H...

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A father just had his first son...

"I'm going to give him everything he desires" the father said as he saw his newborn son.

As soon as the son started speaking, "Son what do you wish for?" The son replied..."ping pong balls" , the father wanting to keep his promise bought him that.

The child grew and was a brilliant kid...

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There was once an ancient Chinese Emperor...

... This emperor had a young and beautiful daughter. One day he realized he was growing quite old, and there is a high chance he would soon die. When he died, there would be no man to take care of his daughter. So he set up a task for anyone in his empire. The person who brought him the most pin...

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An aging emperor was unsure how to divide his kingdom amongst his three sons...

After thinking on it for awhile he decided he didn't want to break up his empire and devised a plan to choose a successor. So he brought his sons before him and told them his plan.

"My sons, to determine who will inherit my empire I will send you all out on a quest. You must go out into the w...

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A king looking for a knight to marry his daughter

A king is trying to find someone to marry his beautiful daughter and sets up a quest to who can find the most ping pong balls in all the land. Three knights set out on this adventure. A few days later the first knight arrives with 27 ping pong balls. The next knight comes in shortly after and has 54...

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Dirty ernie pt. 3 (final that I can remember)

The teacher tells the class that every Friday, she's going to ask a question, and whomever can answer it correctly will be excused from class on Monday of the following week.

The first week she asks, "how high is the sky?

Ernie says, "what the fuck? Nobody can answer that."

Teac...

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A very rich man gave birth to a son.

On the son's sixteenth birthday, The man asked him what he wanted, and said that he would get anything his heart could desire. The son only asked for a pink ping pong ball. His father was curious, but complied. After they had cake and ice cream and the son opened his presents, he went up to his room...

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What are some of your best “and then I said” jokes

When my friends and I are talking I like to every now and then go “and then I said ping pong balls not king kong’s balls” for a laugh.

I wondered if anyone else has any gags like this?

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One Wednesday, a teacher says to her students,

"Whoever can answer this next question correctly can go home for the day." Naturally the entire class sits up and pays attention at the possibility of skipping the whole day, particularly the class nerd.

She slams her hand on the desk for emphasis and says, "How many drops of water are ther...

Old joke my brother told me when i was a young lad

3 men die and go to heaven, meeting them at the gates of heaven was god himself.

"Evening gentlemen. Unfortunately, there is a simple trial require to enter heaven. Each of you must return to earth, gather ping pong balls, as much as you can, and return with them in hand."

The three me...

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There was once a boy who was born into a very rich family.

There was once a boy who was born into a very rich family. His parents could afford to give him anything he wanted. Well, the boy finally graduated from preschool. So far, he had already mastered his ABC’s and could count to one hundred perfectly. He could even spell fairly well, and his reading was...

Did you see the news about the fight that broke out when they played the wrong national anthem for the winning team at the Asian table tennis finals?

The headline read "Hong Kong Ping Pong Sing Song Ding Dong".

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Little Johnny

One day a teacher walks into her classroom and announces to the class that every Friday she will ask a question to the class and whoever answers correctly doesn't have to go to school the following Monday.

On the first Friday the teacher asks: "How many grains of sand are on the beach?" needl...

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Three men are deserted on an Island

Three men become deserted on an Island after their Boat crashes. They soon encounter the King of the Island who promises a way off the Island. The only catch is only one of them is allowed off the Island.

The King requests that whoever finds the most Ping Pong Balls on the Island will...

What’s the favorite video game of the North Vietnamese?

Viet Pong

Women are like balls.

At 20, they are a Soccer Ball with 22 men running after them.

At 30, they are a Basketball with 10 men running after them.

At 40, they are a Golf Ball with just 1 man running after them.

At 50, they are a Ping-Pong Ball with men pushing them to other men.

I was at my girlfriend's house...

And we decided to play beer pong. So she set up some glasses, poured the beer, and I was thr first to go. I threw the ball, but just before it went into the glass Samuel L. Jackson, the famous actor, run up and moved the glass out of the way.

TL;DR: missed her glass, played by Samuel L. Jacks...

A Chinese man comes home

A Chinese man comes home and says to his father:

"Dad, I'm in love with ping-pong!"

Dad replies:

"You should marry her then, son!"

I don't want to say video games cause violence...

...but after a month of playing Pong, I beat Rafael Nadal in a best of five match and might be Venus Williams' new baby daddy.

What is Donald Trump's opinion on Euthenasia?

"Those Chinese kids are really smart, and really fit. Just look at them winning all these ping pong and badminton tournaments...but they should stay in Asia"

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My fallback joke that I've been telling for about 20 years at this point.

A teacher isn't seeing much engagement in her class so, she decides to get the students more involved she offers up a proposition.

She tells all of her students that every Friday she is going to ask a "Question of the Day", if the students can get it right they can take the day off of school ...

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A daughter takes her old father to a retirement home

A daughter takes her old father in a wheelchair to a retirement home for the first time. The nurse, expecting their arrival, greets them with, "Welcome to the Johnson family retirement home! We think you'll feel quite at home here! Please follow me and I'll show you around." The nurse pushes the...

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An engineer threw a party for all of his friends.

During the party, someone realized that the big lottery drawing was that night. Since they were low on beer, they decided to all come up with their lottery numbers and buy their tickets during the beer run.

The programmer created an interactive program, complete with simulated announcer readi...

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The genie.

A man and his wife were plying ping pong in their home, when the wife accidentally struck the ball too hard,
and it went into their neighbor’s open window and there was a sound of breaking glass from inside.

Nobody came out and there was no sign of the neighbor, so the couple thought ...

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