Periods Jokes - 34 Hilarious Periods Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An 18 year old girl tells her mom that she has missed her last 2 periods

Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy test. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant. Crying, cursing and Shouting the mother says, "Who was the bastard that did this to you? I want to know!"

The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later...

What does my girlfriend like to listen during her periods?

Spotify

upvote

downvote

report

My girlfriend had her period in prison last week.

They had to let her go, since periods go at the end of a sentence.

upvote

downvote

report

My girlfriend said to me the other day, "Why did God give women periods with cramp pains, and men nothing?"

I laughed and replied, "Don't be silly, he gave us women."

upvote

downvote

report

Periods are 100% normal and nothing to worry about.

But a semi colon is not; you should see a proctologist about that.

upvote

downvote

report

Why do women have periods?

Because they can't be questioned

upvote

downvote

report

Three periods walk into a bar

and...

upvote

downvote

report

Periods.

Alot of ovary reacting.

upvote

downvote

report

Periods aren't bad

Its just women's ovary acting

upvote

downvote

report

What if, instead of periods, women had apostrophes?

They would be more possessive and have more frequent contractions!

upvote

downvote

report

Never talk to a girl about pregnancy, periods or 'women problems'

She'll ovary act

upvote

downvote

report

My wife missed her last 2 periods

She doesn't know when to stop.

upvote

downvote

report

Pearl Jam just came out with a product that regulates women’s periods

They’re calling it Even Flow

upvote

downvote

report

Periods

....Always ending the bloody sentence.

upvote

downvote

report

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jane gets her very first periods...

and has no idea what's going on. She meets her friend John and tells him about the problem.
He asks to take a look.

After a minute of watching under her skirt he says: "Well, I'm not a doctor but it seems that you've got your dick ripped off."

If not using periods was a crime...

would it result in long sentences?

upvote

downvote

report

I told a girl that periods are no big deal

She ovary acted

upvote

downvote

report

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I get boners for long periods of time

Doctors say it’s in my jeans

"What part of the human body expands ten times normal size during periods of intense excitement?"

A professor gives his physiology class a spot quiz. One question he asks is, "What part of the human anatomy expands to ten times its normal size during periods of intense emotion and excitement?" He picks a rather overdressed girl in the front row to answer it. "Miss Callahan!" The indicated girl, ...

upvote

downvote

report

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call breasts that can hold information for short periods of time?

Random Access Mammory.

Punctuation is important. Improperly used periods can alter the meaning of the entire sentence.

For example:

Teresa was on her trampoline, moving up and down in utter bliss.

Teresa was on her period, moving up and down in utter bliss.

upvote

downvote

report

I've always wondered what periods were like...

Could someone give me a demenstruation

upvote

downvote

report

Jenny hated having periods.

Then she met James.
Now from last 3 months, she is not having periods anymore.
James is a magician.

upvote

downvote

report

Wanna hear a period joke?

What do periods and Santa have in common?
Neither comes if you have been naughty.

upvote

downvote

report

Mhz means one million periods per second.

That sounds like it megahertz.

upvote

downvote

report

I'm 23 and I haven't had my periods yet. My little sis js 17 and had her periods since 13. I feel ashamed to talk to my friends because I don’t know if I have a problem...

Or does it take longer when you're a boy?

upvote

downvote

report

Remember the periods of 24 hours that made up a week

Yah, those were the days.

upvote

downvote

report

What do periods and jail time have in common?

They both come after sentences.

upvote

downvote

report

Why do women always get periods when they’re let out of jail?

It’s the end of a sentence

upvote

downvote

report

A town was experiencing a drought period

So minister told parishioners to gather and pray for rain. Once they show up he starts yelling at them and criticizing them for lack of faith. "But we have faith, we are here!" somebody answers. To which minister angrily answers: "Where are your umbrellas then?"

upvote

downvote

report

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What if god made periods

to remind us to have anal sex at least once a month?

I honestly think girls need to stop acting like their periods are the worst things in the world

It's really just a bit of an ovary action, don't you think?

upvote

downvote

report

What music do girls on their periods listen to?

Ragtime

upvote

downvote

report

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My girlfriend finally got over her period

seriously, it made Valentine's Day such a pain in the ass for her.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.