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Pathological Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A sexual predator, a pathological liar, and a racist walk into a bar

The bartender says, “What’ll it be, Mr. President?”

What is the most common digestive issue among pathological liars?

IBS!!

My brother always lies, today he finally admitted to being a pathological liar

Yeah, like I'm falling for that

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Man: Doc, I’m pathologically afraid of Chemists.

Therapist: i may have a solution.

Man: Holy Shit! Not you too!

I have this pathological fear of two letter words.

I get incredibly scared just thinking about it.

I keep telling everyone I’m a pathological liar.

But they won’t believe me.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Therapist: I think you have a pathological fear of getting married. Do you understand the symptoms?

Man: I can’t say I do.

Therapist: Exactly!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A pathological liar once told me he was constipated

I reckon he was full of shit

What happens to pathological liars when they die?

They lie still

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A new study has shown 85% of men masturbate daily.

Coincidentally, the same study showed that 15% of men are pathological liars.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the pathological liar who went to see the doctor for constipation?

He was full of shit

Two travelers are walking through a forest, talking about how excited they are to sleep in a soft bed again.

Suddenly, they come across a man sleeping in their path. They aren’t too far from the next town so one of them gets excited, saying, “This man can tell us which inns have the nicest beds!”
The other looks less enthused. “I don’t know,” he replies, eyeing the man warily. “I don’t think we can tr...

I went to a support group the other day.

The leader asked everyone to share their greatest accomplishment. When it got to me I told them, “I plugged in a usb on the first try once.” The instructor looked at me and said, “I’m sorry, this group is for people with low self esteem. Pathological liars are across the hall.”

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A man is being interviewed for a job

and the interviewer asks him "What would you say is your greatest weakness?"
The interviewee replies "I'm pathologically honest."
The interviewer looks confused. "You're honest? I wouldn't describe that as a weakness. I think that's a great quality to posess."
"I don't give a fuck what yo...

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