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Pathologic Jokes

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A sexual predator, a pathological liar, and a racist walk into a bar

The bartender says, “What’ll it be, Mr. President?”

What is the most common digestive issue among pathological liars?

IBS!!

My brother always lies, today he finally admitted to being a pathological liar

Yeah, like I'm falling for that

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Man: Doc, I’m pathologically afraid of Chemists.

Therapist: i may have a solution.

Man: Holy Shit! Not you too!

I have this pathological fear of two letter words.

I get incredibly scared just thinking about it.

I keep telling everyone I’m a pathological liar.

But they won’t believe me.

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Therapist: I think you have a pathological fear of getting married. Do you understand the symptoms?

Man: I can’t say I do.

Therapist: Exactly!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A pathological liar once told me he was constipated

I reckon he was full of shit

What happens to pathological liars when they die?

They lie still

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A new study has shown 85% of men masturbate daily.

Coincidentally, the same study showed that 15% of men are pathological liars.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the pathological liar who went to see the doctor for constipation?

He was full of shit

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is being interviewed for a job

and the interviewer asks him "What would you say is your greatest weakness?"
The interviewee replies "I'm pathologically honest."
The interviewer looks confused. "You're honest? I wouldn't describe that as a weakness. I think that's a great quality to posess."
"I don't give a fuck what yo...

I went to a support group the other day.

The leader asked everyone to share their greatest accomplishment. When it got to me I told them, “I plugged in a usb on the first try once.” The instructor looked at me and said, “I’m sorry, this group is for people with low self esteem. Pathological liars are across the hall.”

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