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Syllable Jokes

Are 'well' and 'actually' both single syllable words?

Well yes, but actually no.

There Once Was A Poet Named Bates,

There Once Was A Poet Named Bates,

His poems weren't always first rate,

His first lines weren't bad, but the problem he had,

Was that he always tried to put too many syllables into the last line.

"Hey, aren't you a poetic metric characterized by a short syllable followed by a long, stressed syllable?"

"iamb"

People with one syllable names...

...really ruin the Happy Birthday Song.

In the English language, the word "pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis" has the most number of syllables at 19.

This narrowly beats out the runner-up, "Gloria" (18 syllables).

Source: Catholic Exchange




Note: full disclosure, I heard this absolutely glorious (hah!) joke years ago, but when I was retelling it earlier thought of another way to set it up. It's just a grand coincidence t...

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Little Johnny’s teacher was starting a lesson on multi-syllable words.

She thought it would be a good idea to ask a few children for examples of words with more than one syllable. Jane, do you know any multi-syllable words? After thinking for a while, Jane proudly responded, “Monday”. Great, Jane, that has two syllables, Mon-day! Does anyone know any other words? I...

More syllables than I'm comfortable with...

What does an agnostic with dyslexia and insomnia do?
























Stays awake at night wondering if there really is a dog.

I once met a guy who was convinced that there were no word in the English language with more syllables than vowels.

I tried to explain to him that he was wrong, but he refuses to accept criticism.

How many syllables does the word gloria have?

Christians: 18

Did you hear about the drug addict who overthrew the government with 17 syllables?

He staged a high coup.

What has 2 syllables but hundreds of letters?

Postman

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Multi Syllable Word (:>)

Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Sarah waves her hand, "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!" Miss Rogers says, "All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?" Sarah says, "Mas-tur-...

What's the difference between a stressed and an unstressed syllable?

Vacation.

Are you a word with stress on the second syllable?

Because iamb

I never really liked the word syllable.

It's seems pretty full of itself.

If you overthrow the government in exactly seventeen syllables...

... is it a Hai-coup?

Technically a bilingual pun, hope that's not violating rule 8...

How many numbers between 1 - 10 are there that have two syllables?

I can name 7.

Mexican names tend to have multiple syllables

Except Juan

After hours of working on every syllable of this masterpiece, I bring you a haiku I've titled "Truth in hindsight"

The sky is blue

The grass is green

Jetfuel can't melt steel beams

When I read haikus,

I don't appreciate them.
I count syllables.

The farmer and his wife needed a new bull...

There was a man who lived on a farm with his wife in the middle of nowhere. All they owned was a truck, a few cows, and an old bull. They didn't have much, but they were happy.

One day, the farmer woke up and found that the bull had died. He went to his wife and said, "I take our money into ...

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Paul goes to school...

Paul goes to school...

Teacher announces, “Today we are going to learn multi-syllable word. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?”

Clara says " Att-ract-ive"

Miss Reynolds " Clara, that's great! well done!"

Barry "Dan-ger-ous"

Again Miss Reynolds ...

A Haiku on the Rules of Writing a Haiku

Syllable structure:

First five, then seven, then 5.

Just like this one isn't.

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January, 1774. Revolution stirs in the English colonies.

January, 1774. Revolution stirs in the English colonies. Just last month a rebel group called the Sons of Liberty caused a ruckus in Boston about tea being taxed too high. Tax collectors tarred and feathered. High anti royalist sentiment. William Cotillion, King George's personal advisor to the colo...

According to Catholicism, what is the longest name a woman can have?

Gloria, with 17 syllables.

There once was a man named Brent

He made poems wherever he went

The poems were fine

But on the very last line

He added too many syllables

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A limerick about limericks

There was a young poet from Japan

Whose limericks did not easily scan

When asked why this was,

He said, "It's because

IAlwaysTryToFitAsManySyllablesInTheLastLineAsEverIPossibly can."

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In the ICU

Late in the night, he finally regained consciousness.

He was in the hospital, in terrible pain.

He found himself in the ICU with tubes in his nose, needles and IV drips in both arms, a breathing mask, wires monitoring every function, and a nurse hovering over him. He realized that he w...

A haiku for people who don't know what one is

You just get three lines

Five syllables, then seven

And then five again

Nice joke that doubles as a haiku.

I went to a zoo.

There was just one dog on show.

It was a shih tzu.

EDIT:
A lot of people are complaining that it's not a haiku. I read shih tzu as 1 syllable, so my mistake. Sorry for the misleading title!

A Korean man walked into the currency exchange in New York City with 200,000 Korean won and walked out with $200...

The following week, he walked in with another 200,000 Korean won, and was handed $185. He asked the teller why he got less money that week than the previous week. The teller said , "Three syllables bro: Fluc-tu-ations." The Korean man stormed out, and just before slamming the door, turned around and...

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There was a young man from Japan

Whose limericks would never quite scan.

When told this was so,

He said, "Yes, I know...

It's because I always try to fit as many syllables into the last line as I possibly can."

50 bucks is 50 bucks.

Lois and Stan have been married for 35 years and every year they go to the state fair when it's in town. This year they have a new ride called 'The Helicopter ride'. $50 for a ride in the helicopter for 25 minutes. Stan really wants to ride it so he asks his wife if they can go. She declines say...

When Trump was a kid wanted to be an astronaut when he grew up...

...but all he was able to accomplish was the first syllable.

There once was a poet named Stan...

...whose limericks never would scan.
When told this was so,
He'd reply, "yes, I know,
But you see, the thing is, I seem to have gone and gotten myself into this really rather ridiculous habit recently of always trying to cram as many completely unnecessary additional syllables into th...

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An anthropologist visits a local translator in Zimbabwe.

"I'd like to set up a meeting with the nearby Xhosa tribe," he says. "But I haven't had any luck finding them. Can you help me send a message?"

The translator smiles. "Ah yes, it is difficult to find them. This particular tribe has little interest in Westerners. But they will still meet with ...

A man hosts a party for 4 of his friends.

(This joke is translated from Chinese. It sounds a lot better in the original due to the reiteration and how the syllables works out)


Three of the guests arrived on time, but long has past since they waited for the 4th. The host, impatient, started muttering.

Host: "The one who i...

Dealing with Corporate Information Gathering

The other day, I was purchasing a television antenna in a major electronics store and was asked by the cashier for my name.

“Why,” I asked. ‘I don’t need a warranty.”

“I have to have it for our records,” explained the cashier.

Fed up with practice of companies gathering as mu...

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