UPJOKE
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This girl was handing out vegan pamphlets when she said she recognized me

I said I never met herbivore

Bro, can you help me name these information pamphlets?

Brochure.

I used to work on an assembly line making pregnancy pamphlets, but I quit.

I got tired of labor manuals.

I just printed some pamphlets on how not to say the wrong thing and avoid getting into fights.

Who wants some?

Hello! Do you have a minute to talk about Dracula?

"Hello! Do you have a minute to talk about Dracula?"

"No- wait, Dracula?"

"Yes!"

"You're vampires?"

"Yes. We have pamphlets."

"Vampires have missionaries?"

"Where else would new vampires come from?"

"I assumed you bit people."

"There are many h...

So a realtor is passing out information for a house as potential buyers are walking in at an Open House

A guy says "Hey, can I see one of those pamphlets?"

The realtor says "Brochure"

After the invention of digital watches, the Swiss were in quite a bind...

Faced with what seemed like an existential threat to their national watch manufacturers, the Swiss Government send out pamphlets to foreign and domestic watch owners, asking them to sign up if they were interested in buying mechanical watches as gifts or fashion statements. Unfortunately, no one sig...

There once was a man from Alabama . . .

He was a nice fellow. An unsophisticated hillbilly type but amicable to be around nonetheless. He was known as Catfish Jeb around the bayou because of that one time a catfish bit him in the . . .

Well, where the catfish bit him isn't important, now is it?

One day, very tragically, Catf...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This lonely business man goes on a business trip to Las Vegas.

He's horny and lonely so he grabs one of those sexy girl pamphlets from the cab ride and goes up to his room. He finds a incredibly beautiful girl in the ad and decides, this is it, I'm gonna call this girl. He didn't want any traces on his cell phone so he called from the hotel room phone.

"...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A call from the hospital

A man comes home from work, and as he's opening the door, he hears the phone ringing. He puts down his toolbox, and picks up the receiver.

"Hello?"
"Hello, is this Steve Sanders?"
"Yes, it is..."
"Hello, Mr. Sanders. I regret to have to tell you that your wife has been in an awful ca...

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