UPJOKE
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Favorite and funniest oxymoron

Government intelligence

A group of introverts is called an oxymoron

Please help me

An oxymoron walked into a bar

And the silence was deafening.

Microsoft Works has been dethroned as the best oxymoron by...

russian intelligence

We learned about oxymorons.

It was very fun, there were many examples.


freezer burn, original copy, exact estimate, truthful politician, caring insurance, Microsoft Works, and more!

[OC] What do you call a moron who’s actually quite smart?

An oxymoron.

I really like oxymorons. Phrases like jumbo shrimp, organized chaos, open secret

Or United States of America.

Some oxymorons

An oxymoron is a phrase with two words put together that are opposite in meaning and thus create a new meaning.

Here are some examples:

1) Living Dead

2) Jumbo Shrimp

3) Happy Marriage

4) Intelligent Redditor

My friends say that I'll never find someone because I always use oxymorons

I disagree. I think I'll never find someone because I'm pretty ugly.

I may be an oxymoron,

But at least what i say doesn’t contradict what I said before

My friend asked me what an oxymoron was.

I thought the best way to teach him was to use one in a sentence, so I said "The other day, I had Ethiopian food for dinner."

"Hi, I'm here for Paradox Club."

Actually this is Oxymoron Club.

"Ok, same difference."

*looks at group*

Oh, this guy is good.

Hey teacher, what’s an oxymoron?

“An oxymoron is a phrase or sentence that negates itself”
“What’s a good example?”
“r/snapchat”

Do you know what "oxymoron" means?

It's a term in which contradicting words occur together. For example:
a "clever vegan"
or
a "female driver"

The definition of an oxymoron

/r/Productivity

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The phrase 'lazy asshole' is an oxymoron...

Because an asshole gets shit done.

Did you hear the one about the sleepy junkie?

He’s an oxymoron

i was gonna make a stupid joke

but i realized it was an oxymoron.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Bro Quiz (NSFW)

The Bro Quiz

In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
a lovemaking
b screwing
c the pigskin bus pulling into tuna town


You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:
a your views about what you e...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A grammar book walks into a bar

* An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.

* A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.

* A bar was walked into by the pass...

What do you call a prescription opioid abuser who realise their stupidity but won't stop anyway?

an oxymoron

My teacher once told me

My teacher once told me I was a really smart student, but could also be an idiot at the same time.

I replied “does that make me an oxymoron?”

If a chemistry student is too stupid to learn about Oxygen,

does that make him an oxymoron?

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