UPJOKE
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Opposites Jokes

Opposites attract.

I am looking for a funny, rich, intelligent, beautiful young woman.

A majority of English speakers do not know the opposites of these words

Always, Coming, From, Take, Me, Down.

What is the opposites of Lady Fingers?

Mentoes

Opposites

A theology professor at a rural community college started the class by asking the students, "What is the opposite of joy?" "Sadness," said one student. "And the opposite of depression?" "Elation," said another. "And how about the opposite of woe?"

A redneck in the back of the class stood up f...

why are women and salads opposites?

You dress a salad right before you eat it

If pro and con are opposites

Then the opposite of progress is Congress.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Which two US states are opposites?

Virgin-ia and I-da-hoe

My wife and I are total opposites

We got in an argument about it.

I was right.

She left.

Traffic lights and bananas are opposites.

A green light is go, yellow slow, and red stop. A green banana is wait, yellow go, and if it’s red, I’m not sure if you should touch it.

Opposites?

What is the difference between light and hard?


If a man tries long enough, he can sleep with a light on...

There are many opposites in this world.

For instance: my wife's computer just shut down. Now she won't shut up.

I asked a man what the opposites of ugly, curved, and reverse were.

His answer was pretty straight forward.

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