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Conclusions Jokes

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I'm starting to think Jews really do run this country

but don't want to jump to conclusions, this my first time visiting Israel

My older brother always tore the last pages of my comic books, and never told me why.

I had to draw my own conclusions.

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People always jump to ridiculous conclusions.

Like thinking, for some reason, that my dads are gay.

I've just discovered that I have a logic fetish.

I can't stop coming to conclusions.

I tell people to hold their horses before jumping to conclusions.

I just want them to have stable lives.

There should be a female only sport in the Olympics called Conclusions.

Women jump to them every day.

TIL about the Downing-Keurig Effect in which poor performers greatly overestimate their abilities. It shows that underperforming individuals “reach erroneous conclusions and make unfortunate choices, but their incompetence robs them of the ability to realize."

I feel so smart knowing about this.

I used to think I could draw conclusions from small samples...

...after only a few statistics classes, I realized I couldn't.

Every statistics professor I've had has told me to disregard trends in small samples, but I haven't taken that many classes so I can't be sure.

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A Priest takes a walk down to the docks one day

and runs into a fisherman that attends his church. Upon hearing that the priest has a few hours off the fisherman invites him out to sea to fish with him.

Out at sea it doesn't take long for the fisherman to realize that the priest has no idea how to fish, so he gives him some quick instructi...

I asked my girlfriend if she does any other exercises...

Other than jumping to conclusions.

Why did the conspiracy theorist have such strong legs?

Because he spent so much time jumping to conclusions

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Why does the penis have a knob at the end?

This question has bothered mankind for hundreds of years. Finally an American University commissioned a $100,000 study and after many months of research concluded that its purpose was to give the man more pleasure during sex.

The conclusions were not universally accepted and the French Govern...

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Did you Hear about the guy who was sexually attracted to the end of essays?

He always came to conclusions.

the say the average redditor doesn't exercise, but they're wrong!

I just spent an hour jumping *to conclusions* and running *my mouth*!

I have been to a lot of places, but I've never been in Cahoots.

Apparently you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone.

I've also never been in Cognito, either. I hear no one recognizes you there.

I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips, thanks to my friends ...

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The scientific experiment

Three international urologists were arguing amongst themselves as to why the head of a man’s penis is larger in circumference than the shaft.

At the end, they decided to go back to their respective countries and perform sexual scientific experimentation, and then share their written conclusi...

Scientists studying frogs

Two scientists are studying how far frogs can jump. Their first step was to teach a frog to jump on command. This completed, they yelled jump, and the frog jumped 8 meters. Considering what effect each leg had, they then amputated one leg and yelled jump again. The frog jumped 6 meters. After notin...

My friend asked whats my favourite form of cardio

Jumping to conclusions

I'm surprised how few artist branch out to become detectives.

Afterall, they're really good at drawing conclusions.

A journalist, a physicist and a mathematician are going on a field trip…

And they come across a group of cows with black and white spots, grazing in the distance. The journalist is excited: “We’ve seen a group of black and white spotted cows, therefore we can conclude that in this area all cows must have black and white spots!”

“You’re being too hasty, my friend”,...

I used to think skipping to the ends of stories would save time...

...but then I learned to stop jumping to conclusions.

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Every time my girlfriend climaxes during sex she blurts out the ending of a movie or a show and ends up spoiling it for me.

I really wish I could get her to stop cumming to conclusions.

What's something a frog never gonna jump into?

Conclusions

Man to friend: " The doctor told my wife she should do some exercise."

Friend: "And is she doing this?
Man: "Well, she is - if jumping to conclusions and running up bills can be called exercise!"

I really don't understand how Karen’s aren’t in better shape...

They’re always stretching the truth and jumping to conclusions

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm sapiosexual, I find intelligence attractive.

I guess you could say I come to a lot of conclusions.

Travel Guru

As a travel guru I have been in many places, but I've never been in Kahoots. Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Kahoots with someone.

I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.

I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you ha...

Yo Mama Jokes

Yo Mama's so crazy, when she runs she takes the psychopath

Yo Mama's head so small, when she got her ear pierced, she died.

Yo Mama's so fat, she can't even jump to conclusions

Yo Mama's so dirty, she has to sneak up on bathwater

I went for a job interview

And at the end they asked me, “So, last question: what would you say is your worst quality?”

“Worst quality?”, I replied, “well I’ve been told that I often jump to conclusions...”

“Hmm, ok. Well, thanks very much for coming in, we’ll be in touch”

“No problem! See you Monday!”

How do women get excersice?

By jumping to conclusions.

One sunny day a rabbit came out of her hole in the ground to enjoy the fine weather.

The day was so nice that she became careless and a fox snuck up behind her and caught her.

"I am going to eat you for lunch," said the fox.

"Wait," replied the rabbit, "You should at least wait a few days."

"Oh yeah? Why should I wait?"

"Well, I am just finishing my thesi...

Postmortem

A man dies, but has no recollection of his last moments. Death greets him with a television screen and a box of tissues and says "I want you to come to your own conclusions".

New company sponsored exercise program

Now that we are all back at work from COVID, we have started a new exercise program. It includes such wonderful exercises as:
Running amok
Jumping to conclusions
Passing the buck
Point fingers
Climbing the walls
And my favorite exercise of all... diddly squats!

I wonder how many calories women burn by...

... jumping to conclusions.

A woman was walking along the cliff side enjoying a good book...

Just as she's about to reach the ending, a gust of wind blows the book out of her hands, down to the crashing waves beneath. Desperate to finish, she leaps after it, falling to her death.


Moral of the story: Don't jump to conclusions

Why should you never get in an argument with a pogo stick?

They always jump to conclusions.

What's faster than the speed of light?

The speed of *how fast my wife jumps to conclusions*

My girlfriend climaxed at the season finale of Rick and Morty

She also climaxed at the finale of Iron fist.

And again at the season Finale of Game of Thrones.

She keeps coming to conclusions

I'm pretty sure somebody hid the final paragraph of my essay on the shelf I can't reach

but I don't want to jump to conclusions

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What do my wife and an automatic toilet flusher have in common?

They both start jumping to conclusions before I even have a chance to sit my ass down.

Whenever you hear someone say...

...Bush did 9/11. Simply tell them "Don't JUMP to conclusions."

Thanks /u/Hammi1

I get plenty of exercise.

I'm frequently jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines.

What did Donald Trump say to Robert Mueller?

Stop Russian to conclusions.

A farmer is suing a trucking company a week after getting into a very bad accident.

"Sir," the trucking company's lawyer says to the farmer, "my client says that, after the accident, you said you were fine. Is that true?"

"Well, you see," replies the farmer, "I was driving to the fair, and my favourite dog, Spot, was in the front seat with me, and--"

"I didn't ask for...

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