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Did you Hear about the guy who was sexually attracted to the end of essays?

He always came to conclusions.

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People always jump to ridiculous conclusions.

Like thinking, for some reason, that my dads are gay.

I'm surprised how few artist branch out to become detectives.

Afterall, they're really good at drawing conclusions.

My older brother always tore the last pages of my comic books, and never told me why.

I had to draw my own conclusions.

There should be a female only sport in the Olympics called Conclusions.

Women jump to them every day.

I tell people to hold their horses before jumping to conclusions.

I just want them to have stable lives.

I went for a job interview

And at the end they asked me, “So, last question: what would you say is your worst quality?”

“Worst quality?”, I replied, “well I’ve been told that I often jump to conclusions...”

“Hmm, ok. Well, thanks very much for coming in, we’ll be in touch”

“No problem! See you Monday!”

I used to think I could draw conclusions from small samples...

...after only a few statistics classes, I realized I couldn't.

Every statistics professor I've had has told me to disregard trends in small samples, but I haven't taken that many classes so I can't be sure.

I've just discovered that I have a logic fetish.

I can't stop coming to conclusions.

I asked my girlfriend if she does any other exercises...

Other than jumping to conclusions.

Man to friend: " The doctor told my wife she should do some exercise."

Friend: "And is she doing this?
Man: "Well, she is - if jumping to conclusions and running up bills can be called exercise!"

I used to think skipping to the ends of stories would save time...

...but then I learned to stop jumping to conclusions.

My friend asked whats my favourite form of cardio

Jumping to conclusions

A top Russian scientist claims that Venus is a Russian moon

I think that’s Russian to conclusions

One sunny day a rabbit came out of her hole in the ground to enjoy the fine weather.

The day was so nice that she became careless and a fox snuck up behind her and caught her.

"I am going to eat you for lunch," said the fox.

"Wait," replied the rabbit, "You should at least wait a few days."

"Oh yeah? Why should I wait?"

"Well, I am just finishing my thesi...

I really don't understand how Karen’s aren’t in better shape...

They’re always stretching the truth and jumping to conclusions

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Every time my girlfriend climaxes during sex she blurts out the ending of a movie or a show and ends up spoiling it for me.

I really wish I could get her to stop cumming to conclusions.

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I'm sapiosexual, I find intelligence attractive.

I guess you could say I come to a lot of conclusions.

Two medicine students were sitting on a bench...

Two medicine students were sitting on a bench when they saw an old man walking along the road.

The man seemed to have some sort of disability because he had his legs unusually close together and when we walked he dragged one foot along the road.

The medicine students, taught to come t...

Yo Mama Jokes

Yo Mama's so crazy, when she runs she takes the psychopath

Yo Mama's head so small, when she got her ear pierced, she died.

Yo Mama's so fat, she can't even jump to conclusions

Yo Mama's so dirty, she has to sneak up on bathwater

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A Priest takes a walk down to the docks one day

and runs into a fisherman that attends his church. Upon hearing that the priest has a few hours off the fisherman invites him out to sea to fish with him.

Out at sea it doesn't take long for the fisherman to realize that the priest has no idea how to fish, so he gives him some quick instructi...

What's something a frog never gonna jump into?

Conclusions

New company sponsored exercise program

Now that we are all back at work from COVID, we have started a new exercise program. It includes such wonderful exercises as:
Running amok
Jumping to conclusions
Passing the buck
Point fingers
Climbing the walls
And my favorite exercise of all... diddly squats!

Postmortem

A man dies, but has no recollection of his last moments. Death greets him with a television screen and a box of tissues and says "I want you to come to your own conclusions".

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