My wife said, "I can think of 14 reasons to leave you, plus your obsession with Tennis."

I replied, "That's 15 love."

My wife's obsession with 69ing is costing me a fortune

Really wish she wouldn't touch the thermostat.

My wife is threatening to leave me because of my obsession with acting like a TV news anchor.

More on this after the break.

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My therapist said I have an unhealthy obsession with revenge.

We'll see about that.

My dad had this strange obsession with collecting bottles!

Would be one way to say he’s an alcoholic.

My girlfriend said she's leaving me because of my obsession with American sitcoms.

Happy Days.

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I saw my therapist today, and said "You are going to bring up my obsession with predicting the future, aren't you?" She said Yes.

I said "I knew it!!"

My girlfriend left me because of my Linkin Park obsession

But in the end it doesn't even matter

My life was ruined by my obsession with video games.

Fortunately, I had another two lives.

I used to have an obsession for sweet foods with a hole in the middle

I donut care for them anymore though

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I have therapy for my obsession with junk food.

I'm not making much progress. My therapist said to me recently "You've fallen off the wagon, we'll have to start from scratch."

"Hang on," I replied, "Did you say wagon wheel?!"

My GF said she's leaving me because of my obsession with TV Dramas. But will she really leave me?...

Find out next week!

Did you hear about the architect who had an unhealthy obsession with designing overly intricate shopping malls?

He had a complex complex complex.

My wife left because of my Pokemon obsession

It Tauros apart

My wife said she was leaving me because of my obsession with pasta.

Im feeling canneloni right now

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Once upon a time there lived a beautiful Queen with large breasts.

Sid, the Dragon Slayer, obsessed over the Queen for this reason. He knew that the penalty for his desire would be death, should he try to touch them, but he had to try.


One day Sid revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Nathan


the Erudite lawyer, the King's chief adviser....

A middle aged bachelor has an obsession with tractors.

His entire house is decorated with them. He has tractor wallpaper, tractor memorabilia, many many model tractors, pictures of tractors, tractor bed sheets, even his car looks like a tractor (not a real tractor due to legal reasons).

As it is, his obsession with tractors had left him awkward, ...

My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with the band Garbage.

Stupid Girl.

I just realized my wife left me because of my obsession with simplifying fractions.

Oh well, hindsight is 1.

My wife is thinking of leaving me because of my obsession with poker

But I think she's bluffing.

I used to love tractors when I was a kid.

I had posters of them up on my walls, dozens of toy tractors I used to play with; I remember one year my parents surprised me for my birthday with a big cake in the shape of a tractor. They were an obsession.

As I grew older, I started to notice girls and put more thought into my studies, and...

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A therapy support group session.

A psychiatrist was conducting a therapy support group session with four young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions," he stated.

To the first mother he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy.

"He turned to the second mother and s...

On a scale of one to ten, my obsession with Harry Potter

is nine and three quarters.

My wife is leaving me because of my obsession with wearing a different t shirt every hour.

I said, “Wait, I can change.”

When my girlfriend said she was leaving because of my obsession with The Monkees, I thought she was joking.

And then I saw her face.

My girlfriend and I were arguing as usual. She said "It's either me or your obsession with pointing out doors?"

I said "Well if you don't like it; the door is there".

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This guy was obsessed with the Brigitte Bardot...

The French actress was a sex symbol in the 50s and 60s and was often referred to, just by her initials – B.B.

His wife thought he would indulge her husband’s obsession and decided to get a tattoo of the initials “B B”, with one letter on each of her butt cheeks. When she got home that night,...

I heard self-deprecation is a sign of self obsession,

Good thing I suck at self deprecation.

Justin Timberlake seems to have a weird obsession

with some river in Crimea

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A man goes to a psychiatrist for an evaluation

So the psychiatrist draws a horizontal line and asks him what that reminds him of. "A naked woman" he replies. So he draws a vertical line. "And this?" he asks "A naked woman." Doctor then draws an X and asks the same question. "Two people having sex." comes the answer. "Hmmmmm" goes the doctor. "It...

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A man visits a therapist because he has an obsession with taking his pants and underwear off in public.

After contemplation, the therapist says:

“Well, I can clearly see you’re nuts”

My friend has an unhealthy obsession with ocean life

I told her to sea kelp

I finished with my ex girlfriend due to her obsession with counting.

I wonder what she's up to now.

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My brother told me, my obsession with roosters is disturbing.

I told him there's nothing wrong with loving cocks.

I tried to build a car out of spaghetti, my wife lost her temper and said it would never work and threatened to leave me, anyway, you should have seen her face when I drove pasta. After a while my obsession got the better of me and she walked out..

Now I’m feeling cannelloni.

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My wife says she’s leaving me due to my obsession with porn,

I wish she would see it from my POV.

I'm sick and tired of your obsession with walkietalkies, this relationship is over!

This relationship is what? Over.

My my wife said she was leaving me because of my wierd obsession with Marvel characters.

I said, please Yondu that.

I like my new girlfriend, but I don’t understand her obsession with public bathrooms

Whenever we see one she tells me: “I used to make my boyfriends come here all the time.”
I don’t understand it!

African chief whose obsession was to conquer other chiefs and take their thrones as trophies

There was this African chief at the turn of the last century whose obsession was to conquer other chiefs and take their thrones as trophies. These thrones he would collect and display in the second level of his magnificent palace just above his own luxurious throne. This palace was renowned for its ...

My last girlfriend left me because of my obsession with touching pasta.

Feeling cannelloni right now.

Leo the Lion was the king of the jungle, and had a strange obsession of

collecting thrones. He had dozens of thrones that he was very proud of, and he stored them on the second floor of his grass hut.

Sadly, on day, the weight from all those thrones was too great for the grass hut and they all crashed through the floor onto Leo, killing him.

The moral of ...

My wife was so fed up with my detective obsession that she said she wanted to split up.

"Good idea" I replied, "We can cover more ground that way".

My wife said she's breaking up with me, because of my obsession with rhyming,

I nearly choked on my tea, what terrible timing!

My wife told me she's leaving me over my only fools and horses obsession.

I said I'll get my suitcase from the van.

My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with cars

I guess you could say I drove her away.

People said I'd never get over my obsession with Phil Collins.

But take a look at me now.

I am a dyslexic with an obsession with 80s experimental music.

I can Phil it Collin in the air tonight

My wife says she's leaving me because of my 'Obsession with Star Wars'

I said 'Please don't go, honey. You're the Obi-Wan for me..............'

My wife wants to leave me because of my obsession with FC Barcelona

I see a Messi divorce ahead.

My wife is leaving me because of my obsession with Africa...

Kenya believe it? I'm Ghana miss her!

My girlfriend broke up with me because of my obsession

She said "I'm sick of it. You actually believe that you're a transformer".

I said "But baby, I can change".

She said "There you go again!"

Whattaya call someone who seems to have an almost fetishistic obsession with stomping into a comments section, saying something absolutely horrible, and spending the rest of the day slapfighting with whole threads of people calling them an idiot?

A compulsive mass debater.

My wife and kids are leaving me because of my obsession with acting like a horse race announcer.

“And they’re off..”

My Wife is leaving me because of my obsession with cowboys

But that's ok this town ain't big enough for the both of us

My wife said my obsession with everything Muppets had put our relationship on fragile ground.

I took her hands in mine, looked her straight in the eyes and said, “Oh sweetheart, it’s *’down in Fraggle Rock.’*”

I have this stupid obsession to check whether the oven is on and that the doors are locked.

I really hate my job at the crematorium.

My wife said that she’s leaving me because of my obsession with breakfast cereals.

I said, “Ok. Cheerios then.”

People call my obsession with the afterlife, suicidal. Truth be told,

I'm dying to find out if there is life after death.

I used to have an unhealthy obsession with plumbing parts but,

after years of therapy, I finally got it out my cistern.

what do you call a vocabulary obsession?

Addictionary.

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My girlfriend hated my obsession with Japanese food

Sushi left me.

I've given up my U2 obsession

I was getting close to the Edge

My girlfriend broke up with me over my Electric Light Orchestra obsession.

Evil woman.

My wife left me due to my obsession with Linkin Park...

She took the god damn kids.

My doctor told me I have an unhealthy obsession with iPads.

So he gave me some tablets.

My wife's most recent obsession is growing melons, and she makes me help her in the garden.

It's always "honey do this" and "honey do that"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My latest obsession is eating ass. My friend asks me how I've been, and I say

"I've really been down in the dumps"

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