Obsession Jokes - 60 Hilarious Obsession Jokes

My wife left me because of my obsession with Linkin Park.

But in the end, it doesn't even matter.

My wife threatened to leave me due to my obsession with 'The Monkees'. I didn't think she was serious.

And then I saw her face...

My wife says she’s leaving me because of my unhealthy obsession with poker.

I think she’s bluffing.

When my girlfriend said she was leaving because of my obsession with The Monkees, I thought she was joking.

And then I saw her face.

My girlfriend left me because of my “unhealthy obsession” with USSR memorabilia...

She said there were too many red flags!

I just realized my wife left me because of my obsession with simplifying fractions.

Oh well, hindsight is 1.

My wife is threatening to kick me out of the house because of my obsession with acting like a news anchor.

My wife left me because of my obsession with pasta!

I'm feeling cannelloni right now..

My wife said she was leaving me because of my obsession with food.

I wasn’t really listening, but she said something about not making enough thyme for her.

My girlfriend said, “This is over. I’m tired of your weird obsession with wearing a different t-shirt every half an hour.”

Me: Wait! I can change!

I had an unhealthy obsession with lunar phases.

I’m really happy that I don’t anymore. I’m over the moon, in fact.

My wife,Rose,is leaving me because of my obsession with pens

Biros

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife says she’s leaving me due to my obsession with porn,

I wish she would see it from my POV.

My wife said, "I can think of 14 reasons to leave you, plus your obsession with Tennis."

I replied, "That's 15 love."

My wife said she's breaking up with me, because of my obsession with rhyming,

I nearly choked on my tea, what terrible timing!

My wife left me because of my obsession with golf

It’s ok

I figured our relationship was on the 18th hole

My girlfriend is not talking to me because of my obsession with Björk.

Its oh so quiet.

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what do you call a grown woman with a Lego obsession?

Legolass. And beautiful if you still want to be married.

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I told my therapist about my obsession with the number 12.

But she dozen seem to care.

A man goes on a date

Friend: 'How did your date go?'

Man: 'I talked too much about my obsession with simplifying fractions'

Friend: 'That wasn't a very good idea'

Man: 'Yeah, well hindsight is 1'

My obsession with Doris Day songs is ruining my social life.

I already lost my friends Kay, Sarah, Sarah.

My girlfriend said my obsession with Only Fools And Horses was too much and asked me to go.

I said, I'll get the suitcase from the van...

I finished with my ex girlfriend due to her obsession with counting.

I wonder what she's up to now.

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My therapist said I have an unhealthy obsession with revenge.

We'll see about that.

I really don't understand Russia's obsession with the British weather

It's only UK Rain

Those who have an obsession with meat and anagrams are tough to please.

They're really hard to assuage.

My wife left me because of my obsession with cowboys

But that's ok cos this town ain't big enough for the both of us.

My dad had this strange obsession with collecting bottles!

Would be one way to say he’s an alcoholic.

A middle aged bachelor has an obsession with tractors.

His entire house is decorated with them. He has tractor wallpaper, tractor memorabilia, many many model tractors, pictures of tractors, tractor bed sheets, even his car looks like a tractor (not a real tractor due to legal reasons).

As it is, his obsession with tractors had left him awkward, ...

My wife hated my obsession with Asian cuisine...

Sushi left me.

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Obsession.

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions," he observed.

To the first mother, Mary, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy."

He turned to the second mo...

My wife has left me due to my obsession with Blankety Blank!

What makes it worse is that she took all the _________ with her.

One a scale of number one to number ten, my obsession with the Beatles is

number nine, number nine, number nine...

My life was ruined by my obsession with video games.

Fortunately, I had another two lives.

My friend has an unhealthy obsession with ocean life

I told her to sea kelp

Led Zeppelin obsession

My girlfriend came in with tears in her eyes, saying she prayed and prayed that I would end my obsession with Led Zeppelin.

I told her, "Crying won't help ya. Praying won't do you no good."

My girlfriend wants me gone because of my obsession with cats.

Shes kicking meowt

My Doctor finally managed to cure me of my obsession with the Muppets

He gave me an enema

followed by a Doo Doo do do do

My wife's obsession with 69ing is costing me a fortune

Really wish she wouldn't touch the thermostat.

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I have therapy for my obsession with junk food.

I'm not making much progress. My therapist said to me recently "You've fallen off the wagon, we'll have to start from scratch."

"Hang on," I replied, "Did you say wagon wheel?!"

I'm beginning to worry about my obsession with technology.

I told my doctor, "I think I'm addicted to Twitter."
He replied, "I don't follow you."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I recently quit masturbating because I found that it was an obsession in my life.

Currently, I haven't masturbated for thirty days sixteen minutes and forty seconds.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Queen's breasts

Once upon a time there lived a beautiful Queen with large breasts.

Sid, the Dragon Slayer, obsessed over the Queen for this reason. He knew that the penalty for his desire would be death, should he try to touch them, but he had to try.

One day Sid revealed his secret desire to ...

A girl is fed up with her boyfriend's unhealthy obsession with detective movies, and wants to break up with him.

"This is too much. We really should split up."

"Good idea, we can cover more ground that way."

The moon landing was staged

The moon landing was staged and it was shot by Stanley Kubrick, the reason it looks so real is because of Kubrick's obsession with filming on location.

My wife and daughter are leaving me because of my obsession with horse racing...

"And they're off!"

My girlfriend broke up with me because of my obsession

She said "I'm sick of it. You actually believe that you're a transformer".

I said "But baby, I can change".

She said "There you go again!"

My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with the band Garbage.

Stupid Girl.

Justin Timberlake seems to have a weird obsession

with some river in Crimea

I've given up my U2 obsession

I was getting close to the Edge

I used to have an obsession for sweet foods with a hole in the middle

I donut care for them anymore though

what do you call a vocabulary obsession?

Addictionary.

People said I'd never get over my obsession with Phil Collins.

But take a look at me now.

My dog has a creepy obsession with trees

All he ever does is talk about their skin

I have this weird obsession with old memes...

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There was this little boy who was obsessed with tractors...

...he grew up around tractors, his mother and father were both farmers, and the family lived on a farm. Every day he would get driven to school on a tractor, and his dad would always pick him up on a tractor. Whenever christmas came around, he would always wish for tractor toys, miniatures, and pret...

I am a dyslexic with an obsession with 80s experimental music.

I can Phil it Collin in the air tonight

My wife says she's leaving me because of my 'Obsession with Star Wars'

I said 'Please don't go, honey. You're the Obi-Wan for me..............'

Did you hear about the architect who had an unhealthy obsession with designing overly intricate shopping malls?

He had a complex complex complex.

My my wife said she was leaving me because of my wierd obsession with Marvel characters.

I said, please Yondu that.

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