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Fetish Jokes

Did you hear about the guy with a bear fetish?

When he learned that New Mexico is one of the only states in the US where bestiality is legal, he traveled there and went out to the mountains looking for some action.

He spotted a beautiful bear and went about trying to seduce it, but it kept running away. Finally, the man's charm overcame ...

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I have to tell my girlfriend that I don't like the fetish she's into...

But first I need to get some shit off my chest.

What kind of candy do you offer a woman with a foot fetish?

Mentos

What fetish did the mechanic have

He liked to be piston

My wife begged me not to tell anyone about her foot fetish.

Well I’ve only gone and put my foot in it.

I used to have a weird fetish surrounding my abilities to see, touch, hear, smell and feel

I came to my senses

Did you hear about the guy who decided to explore his sadness fetish?

A decision he would come to regret

What do you call pasta that likes to be spanked?

>!Fetish-ccine!<

I have a fetish

I have a fetish for figuring things out...



I just came to that realization

Found this anti-foot-fetish site

This girl wore only Vans

Why did Quentin Tarantino get arrested for his foot fetish?

He got off on the wrong foot.

Which chemical element could be someones comic book fetish?

Manganese.

What's the difference between my hentai-driven auto-erotic asphyxiation fetish and an artichoke?

Nothing. One's an art I choke to, and the other's an artichoke, too.

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A man invites some of his fetish club over for breakfast....

They are catching up on life and swapping stories about work, their grandkids’ birthdays, their recent stock market fortunes, and so on, when the subject of what they’re most proud of comes up.


Gerald, a 35 year old dentist, proudly exclaims, “Of everyone here, I by far, have the larges...

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(NSFW) I have a sexual fetish for intellectual breakthroughs

I struggled for a while, but then I came to a realization

What is the difference between a man who lives in isolation and a man with a sidewalk fetish?

One is off the beaten path and the other is beating off the path

What do creeps eat at an Italian restaurant ?

Fetish-ini Alfredo

TIFU: My uniform fetish has been escalating to unhealthy levels. Today I set the apartment on fire just so I could call 911, and I didn't realize my girlfriend was still inside.

Don't worry. I came to her rescue.

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Therapist: Have you gotten over your fetish of being starched, pressed, and folded?

Me: We’re still ironing out the kinks

My wife recently left me because of my pasta-touching fetish

I have been feeling cannelloni

I never thought I'd have a fetish for collecting data on people.

But then I came to my census

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I've invented the ultimate sex toy, the Fetish-o-matic 3000!

Not quite ready for mass production though, still working out the kinks.

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The wife said she's leaving because of my sexual fetishes

I said fine! Don't forget to slam the door on my cock on the way out

Why did the guy with a foot fetish want to lose?

He loves defeat.

I once knew a girl with a fetish for synnesthesia.

Eventually, she came to her senses.

A mom was cleaning her son’s bedroom when she found a load of serious bondage gear & fetish mags.

She asked her husband: “What do we do?” Husband said: “I’m no expert, but I wouldn’t spank him!"

My girlfriend left me because of what she described as my "weird pasta fetish"

Now I'm feeling cannalonli

A man with a foot fetish who cheats on his wife

is getting off on the wrong foot.

I have a foot fetish...

I have tried using meters but it just doesn't work for me.

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People with clock fetishes are so punctual.

They always cum on time

Did you hear about the guy whose girlfriend broke up with him because he had a foot fetish?

I guess he got off on the wrong foot

You know what they call a foot fetish in Paris?

They got the metric system, they wouldn't know what the hell a foot is.

What was the jazz singer’s fetish?

Scat

My GF told me my foot fetish isn't because I love her feet

It's because my first crush was my sock

I have a fetish for magnets

I don't know why, I just find them attractive.

My friend confessed to me saying that he was starting to develop a bestiality fetish...

Not wanting to kink shame him I ask “How did you get into it?”

“Well I did some research on the internet and ended up going down a rabbit hole”

My SO has a foot fetish which I've never found appealing. After a bit of pressure and experimenting, my SO finally won me over.

I ultimately accepted defeat.

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My ex-girlfriend had this weird fetish

She liked to dress up like herself and act like a raging bitch all the time

I was once accused of having a Foot fetish…

…but that’s a lie. I much prefer the Metric system.

Did you hear about the guy with a foot fetish who would intentionally lose?

He loved the smell of da feet!

Did you hear about the lawyer who was prosecuted for having a loophole fetish?

He got off on a technicality.

I knew my fetishes were getting out of hand, when I spanked a statue…

I had hit rock bottom

I want to open a Star Wars themed cafe that caters to people who are obsessed with bubble tea.

I am going to call it Boba Fetish.

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I'm embarrassed by my donkey fetish

Sometimes it makes me feel like an ass.

Do you knwo what will be James Bond's fetish when he gets older?

Bond-age.

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I met up with this girl the other night that also has a foot fetish...

I met up with this girl the other night that also has a foot fetish. When she got to my place, she asked if we could just masturbate to some foot porn together instead of having sex. It wasn't what I had in mind, but I agreed anyway. At the end of it, both of us felt pretty disgusted by the whole th...

What is the difference between choking fetish and necrophilia ?

About 15 seconds

What do you call a klansman with a foot fetish?

Black toes intolerant

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There was a guy whose sexual fetish was being harshly sentenced in court, so he committed a crime and was arrested and went to court.

The Judge let him go with no charges, said he's not getting off that easy.

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What do you call someone with a fetish for underwater projectiles?

A torpedophile!

I've just discovered that I have a logic fetish.

I can't stop coming to conclusions.

I have recently discovered that I have a foot fetish, but I'm not sure where to start.

I just want to get off on the right foot.

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I finally finished that book about clock fetishes

It's about fucking time.

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My friend confessed his fetish for putting his dick in coconut

He's fucking nuts

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Compatibility

A woman was sitting alone at a bar and a man approached her. He asked her why she looked so sadly. She responded that her boyfriend had just broken up with her because she was too kinky.

The man expressed his amazement when he admitted that his girlfriend had dumped him because of his f...

I recently found out my mom has a disturbing fetish. She has slept with several underage teenagers and I am really concerned about their well being.

The victims contacted me while playing CoD.

I think I have a fetish for the last paragraph of an essay. How do I know?

I just came to that conclusion.

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What do people with a chastity cage fetish do when they're horny?

How do they get it off?

What do you call an Alabamian With a Gluten Fetish?

In Bread.

I have been inventing a new fetish, however...

I still haven't worked out the **Kinks**!

So, you have a pee fetish?

Well urine luck!

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They finally released the porn film about men with a clock fetish

It's about fucking time

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Me and my friend have an amputee foot fetish.

I know, it's gross, but we can only cum on prosthetic legs. Anyway, our last three-way with an amputee, we both prematurely came on her real toes! I had to politely ask the girl, "Can we start over? I feel like we got off on the wrong foot."

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I told my wife I had a cuck fetish. She said "ok tomorrow night lets do it". That night I get home, go upstairs and shes in the bedroom having sex with another man!

I was so upset i dropped my rolling pin and spatula

What’s is a ruler’s favorite fetish

Foot

Should I do something about my fetish for infrastructure?

Or should I just cross that bridge when I come to it?

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TIFU by trying to punish my son after finding bondage gear, fetish masks, and milf porn in his room

I really shoulda thought twice before spanking him

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Did you hear about the guy with a fruit fetish?

He's fucking bananas.

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The Romans had an unusual sexual fetish for Jesus

One time, they even nailed him on a cross.

I knew a Guy who had a Fetish for Studio Audiences

He Came with a Laugh Tack.

What do non-Americans call someone with a foot fetish?

A meter maniac..

My girlfriend has such a neck fetish,

she barely cares about me she just likes my neck. She's a necromancer.

What do you call a foot masseur who is great at his job, comes in early every day to set up, leaves late to clean up, is renowned around the world for his dedication to his craft, but also has a foot fetish?

Hard at work

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I think the US government developed a pregnancy fetish when they saw my paycheck

They really do fuck me hard when I've been in labor more than 40 hours in a week.

What do you call a guy with a plant fetish?

A Weed Whacker.

I created a fetish exercise program, but I don’t know how to end it.

We are still working out the kinks.

What's a Chickens favourite fetish?

BUK BUK BUKKAK-EE!!

I’m worried I’m developing a fetish for architecture

but I’ll cross that bridge when I come on it.

I've got a foot fetish, but they have to have all ten toes...

I'm lack-toes intolerant.

Help, I'm a Democrat who has a very specific fetish of looking at foreign dictators resting on top of crackers and I'm looking for people into the same as me...

So if you're Blue and you don't know what to search for why don't you look were Fascists sits... Putin on the Ritz

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My girlfriend left me because she has a foot fetish.

My dick is only 11 inches.

I couldn’t believe when my girlfriend said that she has an abduction fetish.

But she demands to be taken, seriously!

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Did you hear about the horny dyslexic with a uniform fetish?

He bought popcorn.

I wanted to show appreciation to my new girlfriend's foot fetish. Little did I know the woman in the bed was her sister..

I got off on the wrong foot.

I have a fetish for doing algebra

I’ve come to terms with that

Did you hear about the teenage fetishist? Late one night he tried to see his girlfriend but accidently snuck in through her dad's window instead...

...

He *really* got off on the wrong foot.

Why did the witch doctor keep a doll in his bedroom?

It was a fetish.

It’s strange disliking Chinese food while having an Asian Fetish

I’d like to eat out Chinese but I hate eating out Chinese

What do you call a nympho mechanic with a choking fetish?

A Vice Grip

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Did you hear about the guy with a scat fetish but pretended it was funny?

He was all for shits and no giggles.

I've got a fetish for geometry.

Sorry, I'm getting off on a tangent right now.

I think my girlfriend has a blind fetish.

Last night she said we should stop seeing each other.

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the doctor gave me a prescription for my weird fetish

It was really helpful since i like putting my penis in empty bottles.

Your fetishes are nothing to be ashamed about.

Unless your fetish is being humiliated, then you should be very ashamed, you nasty little pervert.

I don’t understand why ear biting is a fetish

Almost everyone eats corn

I met someone online who shares my fetish for urinating on dried fruit...

Next week we're going to go on a date

All of my European friends tell me I have a foot fetish.

I tell them, I’ll never understand the metric system.

A wife tells her husband that she's discovered his secret fetish via his search history...

"It was a weird one for sure," she says, "but I think I can make it work without being too embarrassed, as long as you don't film it." He accepts.

Later that night, he asks her if she wants to try it. She smiles, begins to undress, and goes "SKIPPITY BEE BOP BEE BOP DUP-A DUAAA"

I think my girlfriend has a trigonometry fetish

because every time I talk to her she gets off on a tangent.

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