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Fetish Jokes

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I met up with this girl the other night that also has a foot fetish...

I met up with this girl the other night that also has a foot fetish. When she got to my place, she asked if we could just masturbate to some foot porn together instead of having sex. It wasn't what I had in mind, but I agreed anyway. At the end of it, both of us felt pretty disgusted by the whole th...

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(NSFW) I have a sexual fetish for intellectual breakthroughs

I struggled for a while, but then I came to a realization

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A man invites some of his fetish club over for breakfast....

They are catching up on life and swapping stories about work, their grandkids’ birthdays, their recent stock market fortunes, and so on, when the subject of what they’re most proud of comes up.


Gerald, a 35 year old dentist, proudly exclaims, “Of everyone here, I by far, have the larges...

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I have to tell my girlfriend I am not into her fetishes.

But first, I gotta get some shit off my chest.

I've just discovered that I have a logic fetish.

I can't stop coming to conclusions.

My girlfriend left me because I have a fetish for touching pasta.

I'm feeling cannelloni now. 😔

(Thanks for the silver! X 😊😊)

I’ve developed a fetish for figuring things out.

I just came to that realization.

I once knew a girl with a fetish for synnesthesia.

Eventually, she came to her senses.

My friend confessed to me saying that he was starting to develop a bestiality fetish...

Not wanting to kink shame him I ask “How did you get into it?”

“Well I did some research on the internet and ended up going down a rabbit hole”

My girlfriend has a fetish for LEGO

If you build it, she will come

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A wife was cleaning their 12-year-old son’s bedroom. When she found a load of serious bondage gear and fetish mags, she asked her husband, “what do we do?”

The husband said, “I’m no expert, but I wouldn’t fucking spank him.”

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The wife said she's leaving because of my sexual fetishes

I said fine! Don't forget to slam the door on my cock on the way out

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My girlfriend has a poop fetish NSFW

I always give her shit for it

A pee fetish isn't something you do half-hearted.

Either urine or you're out.

I recently found out my mom has a disturbing fetish. She has slept with several underage teenagers and I am really concerned about their well being.

The victims contacted me while playing CoD.

What kind of candy do you offer a woman with a foot fetish?

Mentos

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Over the past year, my sexual fetishes have been slowly getting more perverse.

But it wasn't until I spanked a statue that I realised I'd hit rock bottom.

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My ex-girlfriend had this weird fetish

She liked to dress up like herself and act like a raging bitch all the time

My overly curious neighbor has a peculiar fetish...

... he's always poking his nose into other peoples business.

I never thought I'd have a fetish for collecting data on people.

But then I came to my census

I think my girlfriend has a trigonometry fetish

because every time I talk to her she gets off on a tangent.

Why do people with foot fetishes never win?

Because they like the taste of defeat

Why won't Americans switch to the metric system?

They have a foot fetish

I think I have a fetish for the last paragraph of an essay. How do I know?

I just came to that conclusion.

What’s the difference between necrophilia, and choke fetish’s?

Eh, about 15 seconds.

If a man with a foot fetish cheats on his wife...

Does that mean he got off on the wrong foot?

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Why is the amount of people with a fetish for fruit always an even number?

Because they always cum in pears.

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Me and my friend have an amputee foot fetish.

I know, it's gross, but we can only cum on prosthetic legs. Anyway, our last three-way with an amputee, we both prematurely came on her real toes! I had to politely ask the girl, "Can we start over? I feel like we got off on the wrong foot."

You know what they say about people with an architecture fetish…

Build it and they will come

I've got a fetish for geometry.

Sorry, I'm getting off on a tangent right now.

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How does someone with a poop fetish meet new people?

They slide into their BMs.

Did you hear about the guy with a bear fetish?

When he learned that New Mexico is one of the only states in the US where bestiality is legal, he traveled there and went out to the mountains looking for some action.

He spotted a beautiful bear and went about trying to seduce it, but it kept running away. Finally, the man's charm overcame ...

My furry friend told me his strange fetish of being vored by a squirrel.

Told him he's gotta be nuts

I have a foot fetish...

I have tried using meters but it just doesn't work for me.

I have a fetish for magnets

I don't know why, I just find them attractive.

What do you call an ape with a fetish?

Kink Kong.

My wife begged me not to tell anyone about her foot fetish.

Well I’ve only gone and put my foot in it.

I used to have a weird fetish surrounding my abilities to see, touch, hear, smell and feel

I came to my senses

What do you call a guy with a plant fetish?

A Weed Whacker.

Which chemical element could be someones comic book fetish?

Manganese.

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People with clock fetishes are so punctual.

They always cum on time

Did you hear about the guy who decided to explore his sadness fetish?

A decision he would come to regret

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I'm embarrassed by my donkey fetish

Sometimes it makes me feel like an ass.

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There was a couple who explored kinky sex but they finally decided they liked “oral” more than “foot fetish.”

They were “head over heels” in love.

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Did you hear about the guy with a fruit fetish?

He's fucking bananas.

I was once accused of having a Foot fetish…

…but that’s a lie. I much prefer the Metric system.

What was the jazz singer’s fetish?

Scat

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I've invented the ultimate sex toy, the Fetish-o-matic 3000!

Not quite ready for mass production though, still working out the kinks.

I met someone online who shares my fetish for urinating on dried fruit...

Next week we're going to go on a date

What's the difference between my hentai-driven auto-erotic asphyxiation fetish and an artichoke?

Nothing. One's an art I choke to, and the other's an artichoke, too.

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Two men with a feather fetish

Two strangers, and Englishman and a Scotsman, are sitting at a bar chatting. They've both had a few drinks, so the conversation gets a bit more personal. It turns out they both have the same strange fetish—tickling a woman's ass with a feather. The Scotsman says, "Aye, ah luv it, but ah can never fi...

What do you call a klansman with a foot fetish?

Black toes intolerant

Did you hear about the lawyer who was prosecuted for having a loophole fetish?

He got off on a technicality.

I have been inventing a new fetish, however...

I still haven't worked out the **Kinks**!

You know what they call a foot fetish in Paris?

They got the metric system, they wouldn't know what the hell a foot is.

Why did the guy with a foot fetish want to lose?

He loves defeat.

Yesterday i found out that i got a foot fetish

Because i like Mentos

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Therapist: Have you gotten over your fetish of being starched, pressed, and folded?

Me: We’re still ironing out the kinks

What's a Chickens favourite fetish?

BUK BUK BUKKAK-EE!!

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I finally finished that book about clock fetishes

It's about fucking time.

My girlfriend has such a neck fetish,

she barely cares about me she just likes my neck. She's a necromancer.

My GF told me my foot fetish isn't because I love her feet

It's because my first crush was my sock

What is 007's fetish?

Bondage...

What’s is a ruler’s favorite fetish

Foot

Should I do something about my fetish for infrastructure?

Or should I just cross that bridge when I come to it?

What is the difference between a man who lives in isolation and a man with a sidewalk fetish?

One is off the beaten path and the other is beating off the path

I used to be embarrassed by my geology fetish.

I started off stroking gravel but now I'm feeling a little boulder.

I couldn’t believe when my girlfriend said that she has an abduction fetish.

But she demands to be taken, seriously!

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The Romans had an unusual sexual fetish for Jesus

One time, they even nailed him on a cross.

What do you call an Alabamian With a Gluten Fetish?

In Bread.

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My girlfriend left me because she has a foot fetish.

My dick is only 11 inches.

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What do you call someone with a fetish for underwater projectiles?

A torpedophile!

Why did the fetish art meme get removed?

Because I didn’t credit one of the artists. I didn’t want to give them any foot traffic.

I have a dyslexia fetish

It makes my spine stiff

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I've tried watching Japanese fetish porn.

That's anything where the girl isn't wearing a school uniform

Did you hear about the guy with a foot fetish who would intentionally lose?

He loved the smell of da feet!

I have a fetish for doing algebra

I’ve come to terms with that

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My friend confessed his fetish for putting his dick in coconut

He's fucking nuts

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My wife has developed a fetish with salad items...

Earlier today she spent an hour trying to force a lettuce into my ass.

And that was just the tip of the iceburg

I want to open a Star Wars themed cafe that caters to people who are obsessed with bubble tea.

I am going to call it Boba Fetish.

What do non-Americans call someone with a foot fetish?

A meter maniac..

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They finally released the porn film about men with a clock fetish

It's about fucking time

I have a Blair Witch fetish....

I want my buddy to stand in the corner and not watch.

Happy Halloween!

I think my girlfriend has a blind fetish.

Last night she said we should stop seeing each other.

Her: I have kink-shaming fetish

Me: That's messed up

Her: (moans softly)

What do creeps eat at an Italian restaurant ?

Fetish-ini Alfredo

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I have a trash can fetish

My wet dreams are fucking garbage

Scat Fetish Acceptance

Now that's a movement I can get behind.

I knew a Guy who had a Fetish for Studio Audiences

He Came with a Laugh Tack.

"That's an odd fetish"

I said to myself, as I came to a fork in the road

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I asked my girlfriend to dress up as a Doctor during sex

To satisfy my fetish of being able to afford medicare.

I’m worried I’m developing a fetish for architecture

but I’ll cross that bridge when I come on it.

Subway stops are kind of my fetish.

It's just how I get off.

Your fetishes are nothing to be ashamed about.

Unless your fetish is being humiliated, then you should be very ashamed, you nasty little pervert.

A wife tells her husband that she's discovered his secret fetish via his search history...

"It was a weird one for sure," she says, "but I think I can make it work without being too embarrassed, as long as you don't film it." He accepts.

Later that night, he asks her if she wants to try it. She smiles, begins to undress, and goes "SKIPPITY BEE BOP BEE BOP DUP-A DUAAA"

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What is Japanese ghosts' favorite sex fetish?

Bookakke

I wanted to show appreciation to my new girlfriend's foot fetish. Little did I know the woman in the bed was her sister..

I got off on the wrong foot.

I hope Donald Trump has a foot fetish.

He has to get used to the taste of defeet.

What's a British spy's secret fetish?

Bondage, James Bondage

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