This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Nutty Joke

I made this up while playing around at work, but I'm sure it's already been come up with at some point; however I would like to submit this joke:

Ask someone, "do you participate in No Nuts November?" They will either smile, look confused, or both. Then tell them that it's a peanut allergy aw...

A professor dreams that he steps on a rusty nail

After waking up, he puts a bandage on his foot. At work another professor notices the bandage and asks about it. After hearing the explanation he says: "That is exactly the kind of thing why normal folks think academic people are nutty. Why on earth did you go to sleep with bare feet?!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A colleague told me a nutty joke

Her: What do you have if you have two nuts on the wall?

Me: Walnuts?

Her: Yes! What do you have if you have two nuts in wrapped in a dollar bill?

Me: Cashews..?

Her: Yes! What do you have if you have two nuts on your chin?

Me: I dont know..

Her: Probably a d...

What's the difference between Bibi and Alex Jones?

One's Netanyahu and the other's a Nutty Yahoo!

Any food allergies in the Audience?

Because this is gonna get a little Corny, and a little Nutty….

Did you hear about the nutty professor?

He pursued a career in *m*acadamia!

How did the neckbeard greet his nutty university?

M'acadamia

Did you hear the one about Jerry Lewis launching a line of clothes for frat boys?

He became a nutty 'bro dresser'

There is a conspiracy theory that ALCOA and Planters secretly control the world.

Maybe you've heard of the AlumaNutty?

An archaeologist is visiting a small town in Nevada. He's just ambling around, enjoying the play of the autumn light on the terracotta and adobe-colored buildings. He rounds a corner and is surprised to see the most, bar none, stunningly beautiful alley he's ever come across...

It may sound like he's a bit nerdy, but we all have our things we love and he's a lover of old streets.


The ground of the alley is a light orange in hue, with a soft almost nutty sheen and texture.

His feet feel refreshed!

The street has gorgeous slopes and embankments, li...

What did the people say about the eccentric poo?

It was a little nutty.

I was trying to think up some squirrel puns.

But, they were all too nutty.

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