UPJOKE
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My nerdy friend just got a PhD on the history of palindromes.

Now we call him Dr. Awkward.

(Nerdy joke) Two chicks walk into a bar...

Two chicks walk into a bar. One says to the other,"Have you ever heard of the Bechdel test?" The other says,"Yeah, my boyfriend was telling me about it the other day."

A super nerdy math joke: Graham gave his number to a girl once.

She never called.

Big Burly Biker walks into a bar

He sees this tiny nerdy looking guy staring at his filled drink and decides he wants to mess with him. The Biker walks over takes the glass and slams the drink in one swig. At this the nerdy guy just starts bawling like a baby.


The Biker filled with remorse tells him to calm down an...

Nerdy physics and psychology joke thought I'd share.

I heard that there is a new novel out about Schrodinger's cat and Pavlov's dog going on an adventure but I couldn't remember the name. Sounded good so I decided to go down to the library to see if they've got it. Looked around and couldn't see it so I asked the librarian if they have it in, she repl...

To all my techie, nerdy, geeky compatriots out there:

I got a date. Connection on port 443. Ok. Whatever path I took... it all ended in 403.

how do you get nerdy girls off?

Digitally

Nerdy cell pickup lines

- These were some of my biology notes from freshman year. I actually remembered the functions from these jokes

Are u a golgi apparatus? Cause I need help processing my feelings for u

Are we proteins in a golgi apparatus? Cause we’re being shipped

I hope you aren’t a controsome c...

nerdy joke

Why was Pavlov's hair so soft? He conditioned it.

I just thought up a really nerdy joke...

How can you tell if a person works in HR or IT?

Ask them to pronounce the following:

**HIRES**

A nerdy sysadmin joke for today

Why do programmers think Halloween's the same as Christmas?










Because 31OCT == 25DEC





(thank you very much)

Two school girls are arguing, one preppy the other nerdy

The preppy girl says, “you’re just jealous because I’m a 10 and you’re not!”
The nerdy girl responds, “Yeah you’re a 10! On the pH scale, because you’re so BASIC!”

I’ve been killing rich parents, throwing spiders at nerdy teens, dumping acid on kids, and calling disabled people mutants.

I haven’t created a superhero yet, but it better happen soon because I need to be stopped.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So, after beating the crap out of the nerdy kid in my class who always gets things right,

I returned to the front of the classroom and resumed teaching.

I made this up on the spot and I'm really proud of it.

This isn't the best joke, but I'm really proud of how it came out. My sister and I are both in town visiting our parents for the first time in years. I keep dropping bad puns and my sister keeps yelling at me.

Tonight, we were telling stories from our youth, and I told her this one. She was r...

Nerdy pickup line

Hey baby, are you a compressed file format, because rar.

^^^^^now ^^^^^where ^^^^^did ^^^^^I ^^^^^put ^^^^^the ^^^^^bleach...

Nerdy pickup line.

Hey baby, Are you uranium because I'm Iodine and if it was up to me I would rearrange the periodic table around and put U and I together. ;)

My nerdy friend just got a PhD on the history of palindromes.

He's really good, knows his stuff forwards and backwards.

What do nerdy mermaids wear?

Algae-bras

Totally Nerdy Joke: Einstein, Newton, and Pascal playing hide and seek

Einstein, Newton, and Pascal are playing hide and seek. It's einstein's turn to count. Pascal runs away and hides under some bushes. Newton draws a large box in the dirt and stands inside it. Einstein finishes counting, sees Newton and declares "Aha! Newton, I found you!" Newton replies "No, you fou...

Nerdy financial humor. You have been warned.

I started showing more interest in one of my investments.

It appreciated it.

What do you call a fight between an extraterrestrial and a nerdy creep with no social life?

Alien vs redditor.

How do you tell your nerdy friend is suicidal?

He dresses up as Jar Jar Binks at Comic Con.

A Compilation of Awful, Somewhat Nerdy Jokes

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"To."

"To who?"

"To whom*."
___________________________________________________________
What do they do to tickle me elmo before he leaves the factory?

Give him two test tickles!
_______________________________________________...

This really nerdy guys is walking along the beach one day...

This really nerdy guys is walking along the beach one day wearing his bathing suit and notices this lifegaurd surrounded by a bunch of hot chicks. Curious, he walks up to the lifegaurd and asks him what his secret is, and how he can get girls too. The lifegaurd looks him up and down and says, "It's ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The weirdest thing I saw yesterday was my nerdy Redditor friend getting in a bar fight with a clown.

It was virgin on the ridiculous.

Kinda nerdy IT thing that escaped my mouth today at work...

I'd set up a server and tested everything internally. I was able to visit pages on the apache server, and make calls to the tomcat rest api servlet just fine.

However, when I tried external tests nothing worked. I checked, rechecked and verified the firewall was allowing the correct ports t...

A man gets to heaven

He’s a small nerdy account type, and he’s met at the pearly gates by St Peter.

“Welcome,” says St Peter, opening a large book. “This book lists all the good things and bad things you did in your life. If you did more good than bad, you get to come in.”

“Sounds fair,” says the ma...

[Warning: Nerdy] Two self driving cars lost control on the freeway and crashed, killing 4.

Experts say it was caused by a race condition.

Mussolini goes to hell

Its 1945, and its time for Mussolini to go to Hell

As he arrives near the infernal gates, apart from the "no smoking" sign he also spots an imp with a clipboard and a pen

As he approaches the gate the aforementioned imp says

"Welcome to hell, please state your name and surname...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My Cake Day penis joke:

A guy goes to the beach for vacation, and he really wanted to impress the ladies on the beach. He worked out a bunch, tanned in advance, and bought a tiny banana hammock bathing suit for himself.

Each day, he put on his tight budgie smuggler and began walking the beach, smiling at the bathin...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Biker and the Accountant

A large muscly rough looking biker riding the biggest baddest motorcycle you've ever seen chases a small nerdy accountant on a Moped across a lonely highway. He easily catches him and runs him off the road. In desperation, stumbling and crawling to get away, the accountant grabs a discarded glass ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

2 Girls 1 Nerd

A kind of nerdy, loner-type guy finally builds up the courage to talk to two hot women. As he's walking up he's trying to think of something funny and interesting to say when he gets to them he blurts out "97% of women masturbate in the shower!" The two women look at him oddly but are intrigued an...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three men arrive in heaven at the same time. St. Peter comes out to greet them.

"Sorry about this guys," says St. Peter. "God didn't realize just how many people would get into heaven, so we have a new policy. You now have to tell me the story of how you died, and if I think it's sad or interesting enough, I'll let you in."

He walks up to the first man who is a nerdy, bo...

I went to see a guy from Geek Squad to look at my computer

While he was working on it, he mentioned how hard the dating scene was for nerdy guys like him.

"Go to the grocery store across the street," I suggested.

"Why?"

"There are 'Best By' dates everywhere!"

Euclid as a teenager

Back in his youthful days, Euclid was sitting around drawing circles with other nerdy Greek kids like he always would. One day, one of the edgier kiddos brought along some weed.

"I conjecture that if we light it up, we will be as high as Mount Olympus!"

"We must make sure to di...

An archaeologist is visiting a small town in Nevada. He's just ambling around, enjoying the play of the autumn light on the terracotta and adobe-colored buildings. He rounds a corner and is surprised to see the most, bar none, stunningly beautiful alley he's ever come across...

It may sound like he's a bit nerdy, but we all have our things we love and he's a lover of old streets.


The ground of the alley is a light orange in hue, with a soft almost nutty sheen and texture.

His feet feel refreshed!

The street has gorgeous slopes and embankments, li...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Nerds

A truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers stops for a beer. As he approaches the bar he sees a big sign on the door saying "Nerds Not Allowed - Enter At Your Own Risk!" He goes in and sits down.

The bartender comes over to him, sniffs, says, "You smell kind of nerdy. What do...

TIL the Airbus A380, the world's largest passenger airliner, shares a type rating with yo momma!

Clearly we need more nerdy yo momma jokes.

A nerd goes to the beach

And none of the women pay him any attention. Embarrassed, he finds a popular guy and asks him for tips.

"Try getting a better haircut."

The nerdy guy tries it, but the women still don't notice him. He asks for more tips.

"Try getting contacts and more stylish swim trunks."
...

So there are a group of engineers and a group of mathematicians heading to a conference

They are sitting on a train together when both groups spot the train's ticket collector coming down the aisle. Quickly two of the engineers scuttle into the washroom, leaving the mathematicians confused. After the collector stamps all the mathematicians tickets he approaches the washroom and knocks....

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