Nerdy Jokes

Now we call him Dr. Awkward.

Two chicks walk into a bar. One says to the other,"Have you ever heard of the Bechdel test?" The other says,"Yeah, my boyfriend was telling me about it the other day."

She never called.

He sees this tiny nerdy looking guy staring at his filled drink and decides he wants to mess with him. The Biker walks over takes the glass and slams the drink in one swig. At this the nerdy guy just starts bawling like a baby.


The Biker filled with remorse tells him to calm down an... read more

I heard that there is a new novel out about Schrodinger's cat and Pavlov's dog going on an adventure but I couldn't remember the name. Sounded good so I decided to go down to the library to see if they've got it. Looked around and couldn't see it so I asked the librarian if they have it in, she repl... read more

I got a date. Connection on port 443. Ok. Whatever path I took... it all ended in 403.

Digitally

- These were some of my biology notes from freshman year. I actually remembered the functions from these jokes

Are u a golgi apparatus? Cause I need help processing my feelings for u

Are we proteins in a golgi apparatus? Cause we’re being shipped

I hope you aren’t a controsome c... read more

Why was Pavlov's hair so soft? He conditioned it.

How can you tell if a person works in HR or IT?

Ask them to pronounce the following:

**HIRES**

Why do programmers think Halloween's the same as Christmas?










Because 31OCT == 25DEC





(thank you very much)

The preppy girl says, “you’re just jealous because I’m a 10 and you’re not!”
The nerdy girl responds, “Yeah you’re a 10! On the pH scale, because you’re so BASIC!”

I haven’t created a superhero yet, but it better happen soon because I need to be stopped.

This isn't the best joke, but I'm really proud of how it came out. My sister and I are both in town visiting our parents for the first time in years. I keep dropping bad puns and my sister keeps yelling at me.

Tonight, we were telling stories from our youth, and I told her this one. She was r... read more

Hey baby, are you a compressed file format, because rar.

^^^^^now ^^^^^where ^^^^^did ^^^^^I ^^^^^put ^^^^^the ^^^^^bleach...

Hey baby, Are you uranium because I'm Iodine and if it was up to me I would rearrange the periodic table around and put U and I together. ;)

He's really good, knows his stuff forwards and backwards.

Algae-bras

Einstein, Newton, and Pascal are playing hide and seek. It's einstein's turn to count. Pascal runs away and hides under some bushes. Newton draws a large box in the dirt and stands inside it. Einstein finishes counting, sees Newton and declares "Aha! Newton, I found you!" Newton replies "No, you fou... read more

I started showing more interest in one of my investments.

It appreciated it.

Alien vs redditor.

He dresses up as Jar Jar Binks at Comic Con.

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"To."

"To who?"

"To whom*."
___________________________________________________________
What do they do to tickle me elmo before he leaves the factory?

Give him two test tickles!
_______________________________________________... read more

This really nerdy guys is walking along the beach one day wearing his bathing suit and notices this lifegaurd surrounded by a bunch of hot chicks. Curious, he walks up to the lifegaurd and asks him what his secret is, and how he can get girls too. The lifegaurd looks him up and down and says, "It's ... read more

I'd set up a server and tested everything internally. I was able to visit pages on the apache server, and make calls to the tomcat rest api servlet just fine.

However, when I tried external tests nothing worked. I checked, rechecked and verified the firewall was allowing the correct ports t... read more

He’s a small nerdy account type, and he’s met at the pearly gates by St Peter.

“Welcome,” says St Peter, opening a large book. “This book lists all the good things and bad things you did in your life. If you did more good than bad, you get to come in.”

“Sounds fair,” says the ma... read more

Experts say it was caused by a race condition.

Its 1945, and its time for Mussolini to go to Hell

As he arrives near the infernal gates, apart from the "no smoking" sign he also spots an imp with a clipboard and a pen

As he approaches the gate the aforementioned imp says

"Welcome to hell, please state your name and surname... read more

While he was working on it, he mentioned how hard the dating scene was for nerdy guys like him.

"Go to the grocery store across the street," I suggested.

"Why?"

"There are 'Best By' dates everywhere!"

Back in his youthful days, Euclid was sitting around drawing circles with other nerdy Greek kids like he always would. One day, one of the edgier kiddos brought along some weed.

"I conjecture that if we light it up, we will be as high as Mount Olympus!"

"We must make sure to di... read more

It may sound like he's a bit nerdy, but we all have our things we love and he's a lover of old streets.


The ground of the alley is a light orange in hue, with a soft almost nutty sheen and texture.

His feet feel refreshed!

The street has gorgeous slopes and embankments, li... read more

Clearly we need more nerdy yo momma jokes.

And none of the women pay him any attention. Embarrassed, he finds a popular guy and asks him for tips.

"Try getting a better haircut."

The nerdy guy tries it, but the women still don't notice him. He asks for more tips.

"Try getting contacts and more stylish swim trunks."
... read more

They are sitting on a train together when both groups spot the train's ticket collector coming down the aisle. Quickly two of the engineers scuttle into the washroom, leaving the mathematicians confused. After the collector stamps all the mathematicians tickets he approaches the washroom and knocks.... read more