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Balmy Jokes

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DIARY of a POMMIE EXPAT in AUSTRALIA

August 31

Just got transferred with work from grey old London to our new home in Newman, Western Australia. Now this is a town that knows how to live!
Beautiful, sunny days and warm, balmy evenings. I watched the sunset from a deckchair by the pool yesterday. It was beautiful. I've finally...

One man in church

It was 8.30 am one balmy Sunday morning. Only one man was in the church.

The priest said to him, " It looks like everyone has slept in. Do you want to go home or should I preach the sermon ? “

The man replied, " When I go to feed the chickens and only one comes, I still feed it."
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bob and Doug are at the pub complaining about the harsh Canadian winter.

Bob finally says " Fuck it, let's get out here and fly somehere warm". So off they head to the airport looking for the first flight to anywhere that's sunny. As it happens there's a flight leaving straight away for Brisbane. Australia. They happily hop on looking forward to all that Aussie sunshin...

Two guys are sleeping in the woods...

Two campers are sleeping in the woods, Bob and Jim. Bob wakes up his friend: "Hey Jim, wake up. Look up at the stars and tell me what you see."  

Jim: Well, I see a cloudless sky which will likely lead into a dry and balmy morning. I see that the North star is visible, meaning we are...

A rabbi on the links on Yontiff

It was a balmy day for the highest of the Holy Days, Yom Kippur and seated on a cloud were Moses and Jesus, enjoying the weather when suddenly Jesus spotted a familiar figure on the golf course just about to tee off. Turning to Moses " Hey Moshe, isn't that Rabbi Goldstein playing golf on Yontiff?" ...

What a Night

This morning, as I lie on my bed thinking about you, I have this strong urge to grab you... because I just can't forget about last night. Late in the balmy night, unexpectedly, you came to me in my bed and what happened there still leaves a tingling sensation in me.

You appeared out of nowher...

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