UPJOKE
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What must you have if you want to crash a train?

A loco motive.

I made this one up several years ago and have never posted here 🙃

Did you hear about the crazy guy that only kills on trains?

I was told he has a loco motive.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Nazis really wasted so much money and effort on a racist motive which made no sense

It truly was a hollow cost

She said, "boy, I know you got ulterior motives. You can't fool me." I told her, "nah, girl I got one clear motive."

^to ^fill ^this ^ever-deepening ^void ^of ^loneliness.

Fred goes to a doctor.

He says, "Doc, I want to be castrated. "

Doc says, "Look, I don't know what kind of cult you're into or what your motives are, but I'm not going to do that sort of operation. "

Fred: "Doc, I just want to be castrated, and I'm a littlee mbarrassed about talking about it, but I have $5...

“Some people ask ‘why’ to determine a motive, I ask ‘why’ because I don’t believe there’s any logical reason to do anything.”

-Nietzsche on the habits of road crossing chickens

So a Police officer in Mexico got a call about a train robbery...

He showed up after the suspect fled.

After interviewing everyone, he found nothing was taken and was quite perlexted. The man must of had a real loco motive.

Why did the Mexican train driver kill all of his passengers?

I'm not sure, but he must have had a loco motive.

What drove the train to commit crimes in Mexico?

Loco motives!

Did you hear about the crazy Mexican train thief?

He had loco motives.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A group of Australian students where discussing if Trump became president who would he nuke and what would be his motives.

One of the students brightly said "Well, he has no motive to nuke us, we fought in Nam with them and we would be considered allies."

Another student says,
"He has motive to nuke New Zealand though."

The other students are intrigued as to why.

He says,
"Well he hates goat ...

Why did the Spanish train driver crash into an insane asylum?

Nobody is sure, but the doctors said they saw a loco motive

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mickey Mouse is on trial for the murder of Minnie Mouse

The judge asks to clarify, "The report here says your motive for killing her is for being too silly?"

"No your honor, she was fucking Goofy"

Did you hear about the Mexican train conductor who jumped his train off the tracks?

The police said he had a loco motive.

Two mexicans attempted to rob an old train for its parts

Authorities say it's a loco motive

Did you hear about the serial killer train conductor?

I heard he had a loco-motive.

There is a Hispanic train conductor going around committing horrible crimes..

No one knows why, but it's clear he has a loco motive.

Did you here about the train conductor who robbed his community's 7/11?

Police are saying he had a local-motive

The most famous French chef was found dead, victim of poisoning, and searching for answers they called Inspector Poirot...

The man had no enemies, he owed no one money, there was no motive at all... After a long and fruitless search, the Inspector noticed that a single bottle was missing from the kitchen. He took a quick inventory, then concluded that this was the result of a suicide.

How did he know? Of course, ...

What do you need to cause a railway accident in Mexico?

A loco-motive.

A crime scene investigation takes place in a train yard.

A body lies severed across the tracks.

Inspector: "Do we have a motive?"

Officer: "Loco."

Why did the Mexican try to steal a train?

No one knows the reason, but he obviously had a loco-motive.

What's it called when somebody carelessly walks on train tracks?

A loco motive

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