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Mobs Jokes

Artie wants to join the mob

So he arranges for an audience with the mob boss and makes an offer. “I’ll do anything you ask for 1 dollar.” The boss thinks it over, “ok my rival boss shops at Safeway everyday at 11:00 I want you to be there and kill him.” So he waits at the Safeway until he sees the rival boss, walks up behind h...

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Back in the day, Chicago was run by the Irish mob

Now, before the Italian mob took over- I'm sure you all know Al Capone, Frank Nitti, Lucky Luciano, and the like- Prohibition era Chicago was run by the Irish mob.

The Irish gangs owned Chicago outright for a solid 18 months after Prohibition went into effect, before police raids, pressure fr...

I used to be really good at flash mobs

But then my 5 year old stopped inviting me to her dance rehearsals.

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The once was a Mob Boss

There once was a Mob Boss who employed a Jewish accountant who only spoke Yiddish. Despite the language barrier, the Mobster was satisfied with the guys work. That is until one year he decided to check the books and found he was short 2 million dollars.

So the mob boss sent out two goons to b...

A man named Arthur gets in deep with the mob....

So this guy, Arthur, is in some serious debt. He's tried everything he can think of to make some money but can't seem to break even. Out of ideas, he makes contact with the local mob boss, Big Sal and says he'll do Sal's dirty work for some cash. The mob boss agrees and says he needs three rival mob...

Yesterday I started singing and dancing by myself at the food court

That's how I learned that flash mobs are planned ahead of time.

What do World Of Warcraft and China have in common?

In both there's tanks used to take down mobs.

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The Robin Barron lets the Cat ouf of the Bag

The Robin Barron raises a motion to prohibiting the riff raff hunting worms.

Now the cat is out of the bag.

Hunger drives the Pigeonlatariate to call for state regulation of the bird feeder.

The Black Birdgeosisie pontificate on the mobs of raucous Gold Pinchers fouling up the w...

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The Queen's Crossword

The queen had just completed the annual knighting ceremony. She had picked Claire Heinz, the scientist who's work was considered unethical by most, but she respected her anyways. An angry mob had already formed and was attempting to barge into the Buckingham palace.

This was nothing new. T...

A mobster kidnaps a biologist, an electrical engineer, and a physicist

He sits them down and tells them, "I need a way to win a horse race every time. You are each going to think up a plan for doing this... Or else. "

A week later, the biologist walks in, "It's simple. We drug the horses with this series of amphetamines and steroids that I've come up with. "
...

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