An Apple Store in Minneapolis reported losing $200,000 in inventory to riot-related theft.

'Thankfully the looters took nothing but two iPhones' the store's associate manager said.

The FBI recently found a common link amoung those that stormed the capital on the January 6th riots.

Turns out they all shop at Traitor Joes.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How many black people does it take to start a riot

Minus one

How did the riot police get to work on time?

By beating the crowd.

Why did the riot police show up to the protest so early?

To beat the crowd

So we hated congress a few days ago for not giving us $2000 but today we love then after the riot yesterday...

...so abusive relationships do work

I hear they are calling the riots yesterday 'The Capitol Blizzard'

Makes Sense....
They caused lots of destruction,
Was full of snowflakes,
And a whole lot of White.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Simple Economics

SOCIALISMYou have 2 cows.You give one to your neighbour

COMMUNISMYou have 2 cows.The State takes both and gives you some milk

FASCISMYou have 2 cows.The State takes both and sells you some milk

NAZISMYou have 2 cows.The State takes both and shoots you

BUREAUCRATISMYou hav...

I can’t believe it’s riot season already

I still have my Covid decorations up

Why were there so few capitol police during Jan 6th riots?

Well you can’t make them work when they already booked the day off to attend the protest!

Have you heard about the rioting in Baltimore?

So far, they've caused 4 million dollars in improvements.

Americans always have something to complain about, then suddenly they'll move on. Remember when people were up in arms about cupcakes, bathrooms, statues, police, riots, clean water? So when you think this "Wall" thing will last forever, just remember...

People will eventually get over it.

The riot police is beating a guy in Minsk violently...

The guy covers his face and screams "Please, don't beat me, I voted for Lukashenko!"
The policeman pauses, screams "You liar! Nobody voted for Lukashenko" and keeps beating him.

A Chinese journalist is interviewing a riot officer about the protests occurring in his city.

Journalist: Do you find it difficult to follow orders that may harm the people protesting?

Riot Officer: I do, some of these people are my friends and neighbors. When given such a choice, the only thing I can really do is listen to my heart.

Journalist: And what does your heart say?...

What do you call a hooker in a riot?

A protestitute.

If there is a violent riot tonight in Philadelphia

Then we won't really know if it is in protest or celebration

Why are people so scared of the riots?

The flu kills way more people every year

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young painter once had an old ladder

The ladder was one he’d found in a dumpster a few years before and, since he was poor and needed a ladder, he snatched it up and considered himself lucky. Over time, as he used the ladder on large murals, it would invariably be off-kilter, would not sit flush to the wall, or a rung would slip and ro...

I've heard that after last night's riots in the city centre, 8 of my mum's sisters are going to be standing by some damaged buildings all night holding candles.

You can't beat vigil aunties....

Today, I arrived at a local Black Friday sale at 7 AM and saw the riot police

I had never seen the riot police arrive this early before, so o asked them why they came so early.

One of them replied, “We arrived early, because we like to beat the crowd.”

So President Trump got into his Bunker because of the Riots.

As a german Guy I can say from experience that from this moment its not getting any better.

What do you call a riot in a restaurant?

An eating disorder

After all the rioting and destruction Microsoft stock ($MSFT) will take off on Monday

Everyone will be looking for windows.

A salesperson calls a home and the phone is answered by a softly spoken little girl, so quiet she’s hard to hear.

“Hello little girl, can I speak with your mommy?”
“No. She’s busy”.

“Sorry? Did you say she’s busy? Well could I speak with your daddy?”
“No. He’s busy too”.

“Is there anyone else there?”
“Yes, my aunty and uncle”.
“Could I speak with one of them?”
“No. They’re...

If Judas Iscariot were an IT Engineer...

He would have been an AdminisTraitor.

They're only called patriots if they come from the Pat region in France

otherwise, they are just sparkling riots

What to blm protestors and cod players have In common?

They both hate people who use riot shields

What do you call a riot wih social distancing?

A repellion.

Did you hear about the time that all the musicians in the parade dropped their instruments and started rioting?

It was total bandemonium

I cannot understand why they don’t call the riots in Hong Kong

Tiananmen²

Why Aren't There Riots When White People Get Killed?

Because white people have work in the morning.

What was left in CVS after the Detroit riots?

Condoms and father day cards.

Riots and protests erupt across France. The people are taking to the streets flipping cara, waving flags, and chanting “Viva la France!” A little boy asks his father, ” What are they protesting against?”

The father replies , “an eight hour work day.”

Have you heard of the amputee protest that turned into a riot?

It was out of hand.

The panda bears rioted in the streets of Beijing today . . .

It was pandamonium!!!

JOB OPPORTUNITY: Riot police officers needed. Interviews are being held tomorrow. Come early....

....beat the crowd.

What do they call the riot police in Germany?

The kraut control

A gang made up of domesticated wheat, barley and hops plants are reported to have been looting and rioting all over the country

Police say they are farmed and dangerous.

Remember how white people rioted after OJ Simpson's acquittal?

Me neither.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do Jews throw when they riot?

Mozeltov Cocktails

I know how to stop all these riots.

Play the national anthem, they'll all sit down.

A Brazilian Man just died and went to hell

Satan looks at the man and says: “You’re not in hell just yet. Because you’re from Brazil, I’m going to let you choose a hell of your own desires.”

The Brazilian Man said: “I hate Brazil. Let’s try the American Hell.”

He went to the American Hell, was stabbed by 2 Pitch Forks by demon...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

After a series of city-wide riots, the mayor of Los Angeles imposed the harshest curfew ever: anyone outdoors after 10 pm will be shot on sight!

On the very first night of the curfew, a cop shot a black kid dead at 9:45. The police chief dragged the cop in for questioning.

"What the hell you doing shooting a guy before the curfew even started!?"

"Sir, I know where that guy lives. He never would have made it home in time!"

I've been transferred to Baltimore...

Bob was sitting on the plane, waiting to fly to Baltimore, when a guy took the seat beside him. The guy was an emotional wreck, pale, hands shaking, obviously in fear.

"What's the matter," Bob asked, "flying bother you?"

"No, I've been transferred to Baltimore. I've heard things are te...

Did you all hear the joke about the cure for Covid 19?

It's a riot

Did you hear the one about Trump and the protesters?

It’s a real riot.

Why are they rioting in Ferguson?

Because they carefully and objectively reviewed the evidence from the trial and thought a legitimate injustice had been done.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do rioting jewish people throw?

Mazel tov cocktails

Did you hear about the heavy metal band that started a huge protest but without shouting or talking? They ended up destroying a bunch of property, though...

It was a quiet riot

If trump was notified of an alien invasion.

“There’s an alien spacecraft but it’s not on course to earth.”

“Our specialists, they’re very special people, have concluded that this is just an alien spaceship making a simple flyby our solar system”

“The alien ship is getting close to our american soil but there is nothing to worry ...

Riot's Responce to Sandbox Mode

Edit: Response

Did you hear that Donald Trump's new hair will cause riots due to its connection to satanic rituals?

If he confirms the change, they'll be hell toupee.

I'll show myself out.

I had a joke about the Baltimore Riots

But someones already stolen it :(

The Trump Wall 2020 (original)

Since the USA is suffering from the COVID19 pandemic, the largest unemployment since the Great Depression and the country wide protesting, rioting and looting, The Mexican President calls Trump.
He says: OK, you win, the wall gets built, by us and we will pay for it! Just stay on your side.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did You guys hear what the Jews did when they rioted?

They threw Mazel Tov Cocktails

My friend told me a fantastic joke about 2020

It's a riot actually

50 years from now..."Remember that time we were fighting the riot police and the National Guard ..."

"...and your mommy shows up and kicks your ASS?"

Donald trump was getting his daily briefing...

“Sir, there was another 60,000 cases of corona and a thousand Americans died”

“Huh” - the orange elder barely nods and continues watching Fox.

“Sir- also there was a riot in downtown DC and two cops and fourteen protesters are dead and sixteen in custody”
“Yawn... next”, replies th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Lenin in Poland

The communist party of Poland decided to celebrate the anniversary of Lenin’s birth. They approached a famous painter and asked him for a painting titled “Lenin in Poland”. The painter hated communism, but he agreed to do it on the condition that he will have total artistic freedom and everyone will...

A man needed to travel to Moscow in order to take care of some government business.

A man needed to travel to Moscow in order to take care of some government business. Having to stop at night at an inn, the man asks if there's any room available - the clerk replies that there is a free bed, but it's in a room with three other people. Seeing no other choice, the traveler takes the b...

The final episode of Game of Thrones should end in a huge musical number where everyone comes back to life for some reason and nothing is explained and no real ending is given.

That'll cause riots.

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