An Apple Store in Minneapolis reported losing $200,000 in inventory to riot-related theft.

'Thankfully the looters took nothing but two iPhones' the store's associate manager said.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How many black people does it take to start a riot

Minus one

How do the riot police get to work on time?

By beating the crowd

Joe the dyslexic cop gets pulled into the captain's office...

Joe the dyslexic cop gets pulled into the captain's office, where he is read the riot act. The captain says, "You're a good cop, but these reports just aren't going to cut it anymore, Joe! They're practically illegible! The next report, if there's even one word misspelled on it, you are going on sus...

Why did the riot police show up to the protest so early?

To beat the crowd

So we hated congress a few days ago for not giving us $2000 but today we love then after the riot yesterday...

...so abusive relationships do work

The FBI recently found a common link amoung those that stormed the capital on the January 6th riots.

Turns out they all shop at Traitor Joes.

I hear they are calling the riots yesterday 'The Capitol Blizzard'

Makes Sense....
They caused lots of destruction,
Was full of snowflakes,
And a whole lot of White.

I can’t believe it’s riot season already

I still have my Covid decorations up

Why were there so few capitol police during Jan 6th riots?

Well you can’t make them work when they already booked the day off to attend the protest!

Have you heard about the rioting in Baltimore?

So far, they've caused 4 million dollars in improvements.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Simple Economics

SOCIALISMYou have 2 cows.You give one to your neighbour

COMMUNISMYou have 2 cows.The State takes both and gives you some milk

FASCISMYou have 2 cows.The State takes both and sells you some milk

NAZISMYou have 2 cows.The State takes both and shoots you

BUREAUCRATISMYou hav...

Americans always have something to complain about, then suddenly they'll move on. Remember when people were up in arms about cupcakes, bathrooms, statues, police, riots, clean water? So when you think this "Wall" thing will last forever, just remember...

People will eventually get over it.

A Chinese journalist is interviewing a riot officer about the protests occurring in his city.

Journalist: Do you find it difficult to follow orders that may harm the people protesting?

Riot Officer: I do, some of these people are my friends and neighbors. When given such a choice, the only thing I can really do is listen to my heart.

Journalist: And what does your heart say?...

The riot police is beating a guy in Minsk violently...

The guy covers his face and screams "Please, don't beat me, I voted for Lukashenko!"
The policeman pauses, screams "You liar! Nobody voted for Lukashenko" and keeps beating him.

What do you call a hooker in a riot?

A protestitute.

Today, I arrived at a local Black Friday sale at 7 AM and saw the riot police

I had never seen the riot police arrive this early before, so o asked them why they came so early.

One of them replied, “We arrived early, because we like to beat the crowd.”

If there is a violent riot tonight in Philadelphia

Then we won't really know if it is in protest or celebration

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW a Catholic is trying to convert a wealthy Jew.

He says he'll get baptized as soon as he gets back from a business deal with the Pope. He comes back and the Catholic asks how's the Pope.

The Jew says "guys a riot, I walked in the door and the guy was doing coke in the middle of an orgy"

"Well shoot I guess you don't want to become ...

Why are people so scared of the riots?

The flu kills way more people every year

I've heard that after last night's riots in the city centre, 8 of my mum's sisters are going to be standing by some damaged buildings all night holding candles.

You can't beat vigil aunties....

So President Trump got into his Bunker because of the Riots.

As a german Guy I can say from experience that from this moment its not getting any better.

What do you call a riot in a restaurant?

An eating disorder

After all the rioting and destruction Microsoft stock ($MSFT) will take off on Monday

Everyone will be looking for windows.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young painter once had an old ladder

The ladder was one he’d found in a dumpster a few years before and, since he was poor and needed a ladder, he snatched it up and considered himself lucky. Over time, as he used the ladder on large murals, it would invariably be off-kilter, would not sit flush to the wall, or a rung would slip and ro...

Why Aren't There Riots When White People Get Killed?

Because white people have work in the morning.

What was left in CVS after the Detroit riots?

Condoms and father day cards.

I cannot understand why they don’t call the riots in Hong Kong

Tiananmen²

What to blm protestors and cod players have In common?

They both hate people who use riot shields

Did you hear about the time that all the musicians in the parade dropped their instruments and started rioting?

It was total bandemonium

A salesperson calls a home and the phone is answered by a softly spoken little girl, so quiet she’s hard to hear.

“Hello little girl, can I speak with your mommy?”
“No. She’s busy”.

“Sorry? Did you say she’s busy? Well could I speak with your daddy?”
“No. He’s busy too”.

“Is there anyone else there?”
“Yes, my aunty and uncle”.
“Could I speak with one of them?”
“No. They’re...

They're only called patriots if they come from the Pat region in France

otherwise, they are just sparkling riots

If Judas Iscariot were an IT Engineer...

He would have been an AdminisTraitor.

Have you heard of the amputee protest that turned into a riot?

It was out of hand.

What do you call a riot wih social distancing?

A repellion.

JOB OPPORTUNITY: Riot police officers needed. Interviews are being held tomorrow. Come early....

....beat the crowd.

The panda bears rioted in the streets of Beijing today . . .

It was pandamonium!!!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do Jews throw when they riot?

Mozeltov Cocktails

What do they call the riot police in Germany?

The kraut control

A gang made up of domesticated wheat, barley and hops plants are reported to have been looting and rioting all over the country

Police say they are farmed and dangerous.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

After a series of city-wide riots, the mayor of Los Angeles imposed the harshest curfew ever: anyone outdoors after 10 pm will be shot on sight!

On the very first night of the curfew, a cop shot a black kid dead at 9:45. The police chief dragged the cop in for questioning.

"What the hell you doing shooting a guy before the curfew even started!?"

"Sir, I know where that guy lives. He never would have made it home in time!"

Remember how white people rioted after OJ Simpson's acquittal?

Me neither.

I know how to stop all these riots.

Play the national anthem, they'll all sit down.

Why are they rioting in Ferguson?

Because they carefully and objectively reviewed the evidence from the trial and thought a legitimate injustice had been done.

How do you stop a crowd of black men from rioting, breaking windows and looting?

Play the American national anthem.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do rioting jewish people throw?

Mazel tov cocktails

A Brazilian Man just died and went to hell

Satan looks at the man and says: “You’re not in hell just yet. Because you’re from Brazil, I’m going to let you choose a hell of your own desires.”

The Brazilian Man said: “I hate Brazil. Let’s try the American Hell.”

He went to the American Hell, was stabbed by 2 Pitch Forks by demon...

Riot's Responce to Sandbox Mode

Edit: Response

Did you hear the one about Trump and the protesters?

It’s a real riot.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the riot at the bar mitzvah reception?

There were mazel tov cocktails everywhere!

I had a joke about the Baltimore Riots

But someones already stolen it :(

50 years from now..."Remember that time we were fighting the riot police and the National Guard ..."

"...and your mommy shows up and kicks your ASS?"

I've been transferred to Baltimore...

Bob was sitting on the plane, waiting to fly to Baltimore, when a guy took the seat beside him. The guy was an emotional wreck, pale, hands shaking, obviously in fear.

"What's the matter," Bob asked, "flying bother you?"

"No, I've been transferred to Baltimore. I've heard things are te...

Did you all hear the joke about the cure for Covid 19?

It's a riot

If trump was notified of an alien invasion.

“There’s an alien spacecraft but it’s not on course to earth.”

“Our specialists, they’re very special people, have concluded that this is just an alien spaceship making a simple flyby our solar system”

“The alien ship is getting close to our american soil but there is nothing to worry ...

Did you hear that Donald Trump's new hair will cause riots due to its connection to satanic rituals?

If he confirms the change, they'll be hell toupee.

I'll show myself out.

I Just Won A Water Fight Against Some Kids in the Park

God , I love being a riot cop.

Did you hear about the shoe store that was looted during the Ferguson riots ?

They took all the sneakers in the store but left all the work boots.

Did you hear about the heavy metal band that started a huge protest but without shouting or talking? They ended up destroying a bunch of property, though...

It was a quiet riot

The Trump Wall 2020 (original)

Since the USA is suffering from the COVID19 pandemic, the largest unemployment since the Great Depression and the country wide protesting, rioting and looting, The Mexican President calls Trump.
He says: OK, you win, the wall gets built, by us and we will pay for it! Just stay on your side.

My friend told me a fantastic joke about 2020

It's a riot actually

Donald trump was getting his daily briefing...

“Sir, there was another 60,000 cases of corona and a thousand Americans died”

“Huh” - the orange elder barely nods and continues watching Fox.

“Sir- also there was a riot in downtown DC and two cops and fourteen protesters are dead and sixteen in custody”
“Yawn... next”, replies th...

What do you think about these protests?

I think they are a riot.

A man needed to travel to Moscow in order to take care of some government business.

A man needed to travel to Moscow in order to take care of some government business. Having to stop at night at an inn, the man asks if there's any room available - the clerk replies that there is a free bed, but it's in a room with three other people. Seeing no other choice, the traveler takes the b...

The final episode of Game of Thrones should end in a huge musical number where everyone comes back to life for some reason and nothing is explained and no real ending is given.

That'll cause riots.

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