Husband - My wife is missing. She went out yesterday and has not come home...
*Police Sergeant*: What is her height?
*Husband*: Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.
*Sergeant*: Colour of eyes?
*Husband*: Sort of brown I think. Never really noticed.
*Sergeant*: Colour of hair?
*Husband*: Changes a couple times a ...
My parenrs were very principled people...
When I was young, they caught me smoking one Newport. They proceeded to force me to smoke the whole pack, just to teach me a valuable lesson..
..about brand loyalty.
_ credits to Anthony Jeselnik
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