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Mas Jokes

My government is spreading obviously false covid-19 info about x-mas parties

Here in Sweden the government lies and says that we can have Christmas gatherings of up to 8 people without any problems. Such obvious bull! Who knows 8 people without any problems?

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A man brings home a X-Mas tree...

"Oh boy, this place looks amaaaazing! It is cozy and warm, so much better than the forest in which I grew up! What are those? kids? I love kids! and they are giving me clothes! Those balls are a bit heavy but they make for some really pretty earings. And those scarfs are so lustruous I wanna cry. Th...

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Mas-tur-bate

Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Sarah waves her hand, "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!" Miss Rogers says, "All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?" Sarah says, "Mas-tur-...

Not every member of Al Capone's family had a criminal career..

His brother Mas sold cheese .

I got my kid a cat as a present, but it died before X-mas...

Now I'm stuck taking care of a cat

What do you call spooky mascara

Mascarea

What do chickens celebrate in December?

Eggs-mas

RIP Norm

Before Norm Macdonald passed away, rumour was he was working on a very large Christmas special. The Christmas special was to be online only, live-streamed on multiple platforms and feature many famous celebrities and comedians and friends of Norm.

It’s a shame it never happened, because you ...

A collaborative study titled "Feed the World" about the awareness of wintertime rituals in developing countries has been published...

by D. Oothey, K. Nowitz, Chris Mas, T. Ime et al.

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Little Johnny’s teacher was starting a lesson on multi-syllable words.

She thought it would be a good idea to ask a few children for examples of words with more than one syllable. Jane, do you know any multi-syllable words? After thinking for a while, Jane proudly responded, “Monday”. Great, Jane, that has two syllables, Mon-day! Does anyone know any other words? I...

A Hispanic photon walks into a bar

No mas

What did the Mexican atheist say when he lost his faith?

No mas(s)

The spooky makeup

What is the spookiest make-up?

Mas-Scare-AHHHH

A spanish photon walks into a bar

The bartender says "What'll it be?"

The photon says "Una cerveza por favor."

A few minute later the bartender comes back and the beer is finished so he says "Hey buddy, want another?"

The photon replies "No mas."

What did the Spanish photon say when it had finally had enough of being the electromagnetic force carrier?

No mas.

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Paul goes to school...

Paul goes to school...

Teacher announces, “Today we are going to learn multi-syllable word. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?”

Clara says " Att-ract-ive"

Miss Reynolds " Clara, that's great! well done!"

Barry "Dan-ger-ous"

Again Miss Reynolds ...

Map jokes

How do you get around in Italy? You Rome.
Why does everyone love Thailand? They Bangkok.
I Congo to Africa, Kenya?
Why do the French take there time? They hate to Russia
What's the unhappiest state? Misery
Who are the unhappiest Europeans? The Hungary ones.
Why are the so many Subw...

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I remember growing up on the farm...

...and always wanting to help out grand pa.
Once when i was small i asked
"grand pa, can i help chop wood"
He replied " no, i dont think so...youre just not big enough for that yet. One day you will be though."
"well, how will i know when im big enough?" i replied
"you'll know" said...

A man stands on a street corner, looking for the right customer to sell to.

The man sees another man who seems important. Fancy, gray suit from a world-renown tailor, a watch witch appears to be 24k gold and looks like the guys in the suit commercials.

The man on the corner takes his chance. "Excuse me, sir in the gray!" He starts, getting the man's attention. "Would...

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