The anniversary of Sully's heroic landing reminds us: You know you've succeeded in life if they cast Tom Hanks to play you in a movie...

Either that or you're just a really lucky idiot.

Overheard a tweaker proudly talking about his dog...

I couldn't hear him too well but it sounded like some kind of new mixed-breed dog he called a Meth Lab. I didn't get many details on the new mixed-breed but I did hear him say it could be dangerous. Oh, and it must be fast because its name was Shake 'n Bake. Everybody knows you don't sully the na...

The Ivory Throne of the King of Timbuktu

Hundreds of years ago, when glorious Timbuktu was nothing more than a large collection of grass huts, the King of that great city declared his wish for a throne fit for such a mighty ruler. Of ivory it was to be, exquisitely carved, inlaid with gold leaf, decorated with diamonds and emeralds and sap...

It's a Catholic thing.

Sullivan & Duffy were sitting outside their favorite pub in a village in Ireland, having a few pints. Just across the street is a house of ill repute and the two Irishmen were just enjoying their libations as they watched the people walking by. After a little while the Methodist minister hap...

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It’s time to redecorate the nunnery and Mother Superior is feeling overwhelmed with supervising all the various contractors. Wanting to save some money, she tasks the 2 newest novitiates with painting the cloister...

The young nuns are inexperienced painters, and they paint slowly and carefully, concerned about getting paint on their habits.

Mother Superior comes to check on them and is dismayed to find by the end of the day they’ve barely painted one wall.

“You’ll need to paint faster ladies, w...

A man walks into a bar with his talking dog...

A man walks into a bar with his dog and orders a beer and a light beer for his talking dog. The bartender stairs at him, says "yeah, right" and the dog says "seriously, make it a Bud Light". The bartender is amazed.

Pretty soon the owner has to break the seal and ask the bartender to watch ...

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Two flies are sitting on a piece of shit...

...One of them farts, and the other one says,

"Dude, I'm **fucking eating**"

Sully from Godsmack told that joke in some guitar magazine *years* ago, and I thought that I'd share it with everybody.

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