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Taint Jokes

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Why do they call it the taint?

Because it taint your and it taint your balls

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A dad from Appalachia asked his son what he learned in school that day. He said “the boys on the bus were saying the skin between your legs is the ‘taint’ but I don’t know why they were calling it that.”

The father replied, “well if I remember correctly from my learnin it’s because it t’aint the balls, but it t’aint quite the either.”

There's a great deal of tainted money in the world...

It taint yours and it taint mine!

I know that this tainted lettuce scare has everyone worried. But please, everyone...

Try to romaine calm.

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News report: Source of tainted found to be contaminated shipping containers still in use from Soviet-era East Germany.

Proving once and for all Russian interference in American erections.

A naked man was arrested after stealing a bicycle and riding away on it.

Police impounded the bicycle, but worry that the evidence is tainted.

Beef farmers in Washington are fighting to protect their cattle, whose water supply has been tainted with THC from the marijiana industry

The steaks have never been higher

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I thought the area between the and the is called the "perineum". I was wrong...

It *taint*.

Ayn Rand, Rand Paul, and Paul Ryan walk into a bar...

The bartender serves them tainted alcohol because there are no regulations. They die.

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What do you call love between a and an ?

Whether she kicks you in the groin or sits on your face...

Taint gonna happen either way.

A redneck goes to the doctor

Doctor asks "How is your perineum?"

Redneck replies "taint got no problem a'tall"

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What's between a and an ?

The tainted presidential election.

A government agent is sent to a village

A government agent is sent to a small English village where there are reports of multiple deaths from tainted pharmaceuticals.

The villagers are unaware of the cause, but are nonetheless worried and ask the agent who is responsible for these deaths around the village.

The agent tells t...

Sailor walks up to a Pirate in a bar...

...offers to buy the pirate a drink if he tells him the tales of his hook, pegleg, and eye patch.

The pirate agrees, but to one drink per tale.

Sailor buys him a drink, and says, well, why don't you start with the pegleg?

Pirate takes a long swig, leans forward and says "SHARK!"...

Deer Hunter

A hunter was stalking a deer on the ridge across from him when he noticed the deer was somewhat wobbly and seemed to be squinting. Looking carefully through his rifle scope, he soon realized that the big buck was standing in the middle of a patch of marijuana, happily chewing away. Taking careful ...
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