UPJOKE
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Leia Jokes

Why didn't Leia email Obi-Wan the Death-Star plans?

The Jedi Code forbids attachments.

Why wasn't Princess Leia married before she met Han Solo?

She was looking for love in Alderaan places

Who Did Princess Leia's Hair? (My daughter's joke)

Darth Braider



(I know, I know. She's a kid though. Lol)

What did Princess Leia say to Han Solo on their wedding night?

Into the garbage chute, flyboy!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why was Han Solo so suspicious when he put his penis inside Princess Leia for the first time?

...it was Luke warm.

Haven't seen the new Star Wars yet...

But everybody posting spoilers about how Princess Leia dies

Who was Princess Leia's gynecologist?

OB-Wan Kenobi

slave Leia

A man comes home to his girlfriend who is in a slave Leia costume, chained to the bed and stretched out seductively. The man gets angry and says "I'm not that fat!"

What’s Princess Leia’s favourite song?

Riding solo - Jason Derulo

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is Princess Leia's favorite sex act?

Giving Han Jobs

Did you know that Chewbacca's brother Pannubacca died when Princess Leia's home planet was destroyed?

Pannub, as his friends called him, had never had much luck with the ladies and was horribly shy due to his terribly crooked teeth. After years of loneliness Pannub decided to do something about his problem and flew to Leia's planet, which everyone knows was well known for their excellent orthodontis...

Why were luke and leia Jedi’s?

Because they were children of di vorce

How did the captain of the Millennium Falcon satisfy himself before he met Leia?

With his Hans, Solo

Darth Vader always knew what Luke and Leia got him for Christmas, stating:

“I’ve felt your presents”

Why did Princess Leia lose all her friends & family?

She got involved with Alderaan people.

Why does Princess Leia keep her hair tied up in buns?

So it doesn’t Hang Solow

How does Princess Leia like her showers?

Lukewarm.

I asked Princess Leia for a list of her favorite bands...

It's Alderaan Duran

3 dirty Star Wars jokes

1) Why was Han Solo suspicious when he finally got inside Princess Leia?

Because it was Luke warm

2) Why was Han Solo suspicious when he was eating Princess Leia?

Because she felt chewy

3) Did Han do the right thing when he confronted Leia about these?

No, that nig...

The Stormtrooper from Switzerland

After a long day of training in the force on Dagobah, Luke came back to Yoda’s tiny hut and noticed that he looked worried. Yoda went on to tell Luke that while he was away a stormtrooper from Switzerland came by and demanded to know where Princess Leia was.

Luke looked around scared and ask...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Late one night, Han and Leia are hanging out getting a bit drunk....

when Leia starts bitching about never being able to understand Chewy. Han, fed up with Leia's attitude replied.....

"look princess, there's nothing I can do about it, that's just the way the wookie mumbles"

Why did Princess Leia spit and not swallow?

Because it was Chewy

What did Han Solo’s last name change too after he married Leia?

Han Duet.

What did the sentient dollar cosplaying as Leia's mother say?

I Amidala

What is Princess Leia’s favorite Aerosmith song?

Ewok this way.

Why did Princess Leia send a distress call to Francis?

Because he was her only Pope.

What doesn't Princess Leia like toy guns?

Because the Nerf hurt her.

After Luke Skywalker found out Princess Leia was his sister...

He became best friends with hand solo.

what if princess leia went to the dark side?

then she would be luke's sithter

What did Luke say at Han and Leia's wedding?

May divorce be with you

What do you call Luke, Leia, Han, Chewie and the rest of The Rebellion at the beginning of a rugby match?

Rebel Scrum

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A long time ago in alternative universe far, far away, Grand Moff Tarkin is having sex with Princess Leia.

'Come!' she whispers breathlessly.

'Ejaculate?!' he cries. 'In my moment of triumph?'

[Star Wars spoiler] What did Han....

Tell Leia after they separated?

-----


*May Divorce be with you.*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How is Star Wars like a penis?

Luke and Leia are force kin.

Luke had a sister, and a trainer toooooo!

*Leia, Yoda, Leia, YODA, LEIA HEE HOOOOOO*

Why is Darth Vader's helmet so phallic?

...because when they hid Luke & Leia from him, they removed his force kin.

Han and Leia never planned on having a baby. They decided their form of birth control would be the pull-out method.

But Han shot first.

Although its great for getting out of trouble with bounty hunters

Han's tendency to shoot first did not make Leia very happy.

Two of my married (to each other) geeky friends enjoy couples-themed cosplay.

Every convention I see them in different outfits. One year it was Doctor McCoy and Nurse Chapel. The next they went as Luke and Leia. Then they went as the 4th Doctor and Sarah Jane Smith.

Well, the lady had a baby after that. The next time I saw them, He was dressed up as Number 6 Patr...

Zalporin

Luke and Leia are on a mission to a remote Rebel base when they receive a distress call from the Millennium Falcon. Tracing its homing beacon, they discover that the ship is stranded on a planet called Zalporin, on the other side of the galaxy.

"I've heard of this world," Leia says, gravely c...

Cringey star wars joke

Just thought of a cringey star wars joke while being unable to sleep

Q- What was Hans Solo's response to Princess Leia when she asked where he had been all her life?

A- In Alderaan places

What's the fastest way to become a general in the Rebel Alliance?

Leia Princess!

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