If Matthew McConaughey runs for governor in Texas, what will his first order of business be?

Getting rid of the alt-right, alt-right, alt-right

What is the First Order's standard unit of measurement for length?

A Kylometer

A group of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders a beer, the second orders half a beer, the third orders a quarter a beer...

By the seventh order the bartender asks them "is this some sort of a joke?"

The last mathematician explains "no, we just know our limits".

Three brothers and the lights

Three brothers are arguing about whom will turn the lights off. The first orders the second, and the second orders the third to turn the lights off. In the end they agreed if someone talks he’d turn the lights off.

Days past and the neighbours are starting to get worried about them so they d...

Two chemists went to a bar.

The first ordered H2O
The second ordered H2O too.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Knight and the lady (NSFW)

There was a knight married to a beautiful lady. One day, a crusade is called and the knight is forced to leave his castle and head off to the crusades. Before he goes he arranged for his wife to wear a chastity belt, to ensure that none of his servants try anything with her in his absence. Yet this ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three vampire vixens are standing at a bar

The first orders a cup of blood

The second orders a cup of blood as well

The third orders a cup of hot water

Out of curiosity the bartender asks the third vampire "why didn't you order blood like your other two friends?"

She pulls out her tampon and says
"I feel like...

An infinite amount of mathematics walks to the bar.

First orders 1 beer. Second orders half of beer. Third orders 1/4 of beer. Another orders 1/8 of beer. It goes on for a while and than bartender says: "guys you're really idiots." And bring them 2 beers.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three Nazis walk into a bar

Three Nazis walk into a bar.

Their commanding officer walks up to the bartender and says,

"Congratulations, you are now a member of the German Army. Your first order is to kill everyone in this room who is not Aryan".

The bartender complies. He takes a m...

Why was Kylo Ren so angry when the table next to him received their food ?

Because he was the First Order

In Star Wars Legends, Rey discovers an unusual force ability...

...this allows her to turn as dark as the night like a shadow and even become the shadows of others, useful for creeping up on enemies. The First Order Stormtroopers spoke about this amazing power having heard about it from a commanding officer Rey fought with the force. "Sir was spun around and kno...

Star Wars Trailer: No one is ever really gone...

"Meesa lead tha First Order to victory now, okietay?"

How did Snoke test out his new Amazon account?

He made the first order!

Two men walk into bar

As they sit down, the bartender ask them what they want to drink
First orders: I’d like some H2O,
Second: I’d like H2O too.

At the end of the shift, one of them is dead

I was fired from a pizza place only 6 hours in.

They said I was a bad delivery driver, but could they know? I hadn't even delivered my first order yet.

Kylo Ren, Captain Phasma, and Supreme Leader Snoke pull up to a drive-thru.

"We'll be paying separately."

"Go ahead with The First Order."

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