UPJOKE
intelcheggosman rashidlolwatcanthahathopplwhitneydontdatsfrazierlindseygibbs

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This actually happened, and I’m sorry if the joke exists, i dont kno about it and I’m proud.

So I was at a bar, for a long long time. And I went to the bathroom to the urinal, and went about my business.

A drunk as hell guy comes in and goes to the urinal next to me to unleash, and says

“Why you holding on to your dick, is it so small you can’t aim?”

And I INS...

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2 dogs are in a bar

Dog 1: "I heard a great joke today"

Dog 2: "Let's hear it then"

Dog 1: "Knock kno..."

Dog 2: goes fucking mental

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A man in a hotel lobby turns to go to the front desk, but he accidentally runs into a woman beside him and his elbow bumps into her breast. They are both quite startled.

The man turns to her and says, "Ma'aM, iF youR hearT iS sofT aS youR breasT ,I knoW you'lL forgivE mE." She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436."

TIL "saltpeter" is a casual term for potassium nitrate.

The more you KNO...

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Army man dont want deploy

So army man sees dress woman and ask to go under dress

Army pass by and ask her where army man is

She say she dont kno

Army man says sorry for being under her dress but says she has nice leg

Lady said look up further and you find nice dick

Man was confused

L...

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke smoke marijuana

Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said “u kno u wna”
Jill said yes, lifted her dress and had a little fun
But the stupid fucker forgot his rubber and now they have a son.

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Parrots..

A parrot swallows a viagra tab. His owner,disgusted,puts him in the freezer to cool off. After 20 minutes, he opens the freezer to see the parrot sweatin."why r u sweating?", he asks. The Parrot replies,"Do u kno how fucking hard it is to open the legs of a frozen chicken!?"

Knock knock

"Hey Walter, wanna hear a joke?"
"Sure"
"Knock kno- "

"I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS!!!"

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Cleetus had a embarrassing disease

So he went to the doctor:

" Sho doc, I have this scratchy in me parts and I was thinking you may have some midicin to you know get thi old junk back on health"

The doctor examined him and diagnosed with an STD, he gave him some suppositories

" Alright Mr thoothill, this supposi...

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Robert

“Did you know there’s 1.5 gallons of blood in an average person” One of the girls at our lunch table looked at him in disgust, and looked away.

Robert was a weird ass kid. None of us were friends with him, and we didn’t pay any attention to him, so it was a surprise to see his greasy self sit...

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