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Jesse - The Quick Thinking Cowboy

Jesse the cowboy has been captured by the Indians and sentenced to death. The Chief says "Since we are warriors and you are also a warrior, for honor, I grant you one last request."

Jesse says "Let me talk to my horse."

The Chief replies "That's an unusual request but since it is your...

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Hitler shook jesse owens hand at the '39 olympics.

Meanwhile our president couldn't even be bothered to stand up.

What did Jesse say to Woody when they were having a threesome with Buzz Lightyear?

You've got a friend in me

When I heard Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson

were guest preachers at a nearby
black Houston Church, I decided to check them out in person and see what it
was all about.
I sat down and Sharpton came up to me, I don’t know why, maybe it was
because I was the only white person in the Church.
He laid his hands on my hand a...

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So the pope, bill clinton, a teenager, jesse jackson and a doctor are on an airplane...

And the pilot comes out of the cockpit and throws open the emergency door, "We've gotta jump guys, sorry, we both have chutes, but there's only 4 left," as him and his co-pilot hopped out.
The remaining five stayed silent a moment and started discussing who should live. Jesse Jackson mentioned h...

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Prison Fun

Bob the stockbroker was convicted of insider trading and sent to federal prison.
He was housed with a big, tough bank robber named Jesse.

Walking into his shared cell for the first time Bob was understandably nervous.

“ Hello there, welcome to your new home” said Jesse holding ou...

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Pissin' in the snow, 2019

Donald Trump wakes up one morning and looks out the White House window, where he sees "Donald Trump Sucks" in huge letters, pissed into the snow below. He calls in the CIA, the FBI, and the Secret Service, and screams, "I want answers! Who's responsible for this? Report back after lunch!"

...

The Carnival Date

Jesse took his blind date to the carnival. "What would you like to do first, Amber?" asked Jesse.

"I want to get weighed," replied Amber.

They ambled over to the weight guesser. He guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize.

Next, the couple went o...

4th of July Alcohol puns: American Heroes edition.

So this all started with Abraham Drinkin.

Help us come up with more. It has to be a character from American History to celebrate today as well as some sort of alcohol theme.

Here's what we have so far (some are better than others) :

Abraham Drinkin

John Wilkes Booze
...

Zebra in heaven

The Zebra dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates.


As he enters, he asks St. Peter, “I have a question that's haunted me all
of my days on earth. Am I white with black stripes, or am I black with
white stripes?”


St. Peter said, “That's a question only God can answer.”...

A furniture-maker got caught by his wife coming in at 4am

"Damn it, Jesse! I will not let you ruin our marriage over one night stand!"

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