What do you call the snack that reveals all the intel of the contents in your lunchbox?

Julian a sandwich

What's the difference between Intel and InCel?

Intel is in computers, but InCels aren't in anything.

I like to copy forum posts from Intel forums to Amd forums. People call me a reposter,

But actually I'm a threadripper.

Spy intels

A hot Russian spy reported back to her boss: i got the latest classified intels from the general and also captured his son.

Boss replies: excellent! so where's the boy?

'gotta wait another 9 months before you can meet him' says the Russian spy.

What did Jesus say when he switched from Intel to AMD?

Do not mourn me for I have Ryzen.

Two Intel operatives are on their way to meet a defector...

Two Spanish intelligence agents get word that a Portuguese agent wants to defect, so they set up a meeting with him. The Chief agent starts to walk into the room, when his partner, Juan Mendoza shouts " No! It's a trap, and pushes the Chief out of the way just before a bullet from the would be detec...

What do you call a folder on FBI's servers that contains all the intel on known child molesters?

A Pedo File.

My friend told me that he was going to buy a bunch of Intel CPUs.

I told him to stop that non-Zens.

I tried to get my mom to switch from AMD to Intel...

...but I couldn't Celeron it.

What do Intel, Google, Uber, eBay, McDonalds, Budweiser, AT&T, Oracle, Disney, Boeing, IBM and Apple have in common?

Immigrants

Since the Intel processors are named i3, i5 and i7...

does that mean Intel can't even?

I recall the time years ago when my friend and I went on our secret spy mission. Like any other highly trained operatives, we were tasked with infiltrating the local mattress store.

It had been reported several times for housing a suspicious number of fans. (a Code 182).

Per our orders, my partner and I snuck into the establishment, taking up hiding under the blankets of some nearby display beds. Sure enough, the place was crawling with fans: ceiling fans, upright fans,...

Why did the Army Intelligence Officer smash the PC?

He heard there was intel inside.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An army ranger, navy seal, and green beret...

...are sitting around a campfire swapping tough guy stories.

The army ranger pipes up by bragging, "One time I had to parachute 4 miles behind enemy lines, take out a platoon of enemy soldiers, and escape with fifty pounds of intel strapped to my back."

Not to be out done by the ranger...

I Germans and an Italian

At the end of WW2, as the Allies were starting to win, there were 3 prisoners of war held together in a cell. Two were German officers and one an Italian soldier. The men were to be held for questioning.
The first day the Allied soldiers took the first German in to be questioned. The guards sit...

Has anyone heard of the disastrous news about the CPU chip flaws?

seems like bad intel..

CEO Brian Krzanich sold his stock, and it might be considered insider trading...

You could say he had certain Intel about the situation.

This could turn into a total Meltdown.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Brit, an American and an Italian are taken PoW

In the last year of the Second World War, the Nazis take a Brit, an American and an Italian as prisoner.
They torture them for information about allied plans. The Brit holds out for a few weeks, but eventually his stiff upper lip is beaten off of him, and he breaks; telling the Nazis everything...

I'm surprised more people didn't know about the NSA spying programs

I mean most of our computers are labelled "Intel"

German spies

During the war, two German spies were sent to London to gather valuable intel. To immerse themselves in the local culture they walk into a local pub and walk up to the bar. The first German says to the barman in an impeccable English accent
"May I have two Martinis please?"
"Dry?" asked the b...

Eevee

A de-evolving Eevee came across a war between the two factions of Eevees: the Flareons, Vaporeons, Jolteons, and Sylveons, and the Umbreons, Espeons, Glaceons, and Leafeons.

Deciding to play both sides, the Eevee snuck into one camp as a Fire type, and managed to gather some information about...

Three engineers were trying to make smarthome devices (from a friend)

Three engineers and a manager are sitting around some appliances to help make them smarthome compatible.

The first engineer turns his attention to the refrigerator, "We should connect this fridge to the internet and make it tell you when food is going bad, I will need an Intel i7 if we want t...

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